Feeling down as Christmas nears (page 2)

J-DUBBED

J-Dubbed-I love your name and welcome to the forum.

I went back and looked at some of your posts. The one about your son being mad about being lied to about Santa, etc. made me remember feeling the same. It's hard to remember back that far. When I became a JW I was 21 and now I am 63.

I do wish to tell you that initially my parents and I argued a lot. This really only made me dig my heels in further. You know how it is when you are young and on your "high horse." You mentioned in an earlier post that you were going to have coffee with your son. How did that go?

My best advice is to tell your son how proud of him you are (swallow hard) and try to get him to feel good about himself. Wish I could offer more than that. Just don't get him on the defensive

Very Spooky......Quandry, with your post it feels like looking at a "Carbon Copy" of what we went through and are still going through. Especially about the argueing and you diggin' in deeper.

He's been to my shop a couple times now for coffee with just me and it's been alright so far. I talk nice to him. I don't ask about or talk about his J-Dub Wife or the Cult Club. He even asked me to stop by his house to see a car project he is going to work on. I went to his garage and did give him a lot of praise on his new toy.

The problem is I want to see him, meet with him, and do my own "Love Bombing" but I do not want to be in the same room with his J-Dub Wife. How can this be accomplished without pissing him off? I didn't come out and tell him I don't want to see or talk to his bride, I just try to avoid it to ever happen. I want to tell him to come over with his little 2 year old girl but don't bring the wife.......Not sure how to handle that part. So far just trying 1 on 1 between him and I.

LV101

Quandry - I'm sure your parents would be so happy for you and want you to enjoy every holiday that comes along - and then some!

Life sure is difficult and as Jeannette says, "pathetic." I understand your grief and as beautiful as the season is feelings intensify for those we love(d) at this time of year.

I hate the WT, too - have a wonderful Christmas in spite of that miserable cult and the past. It's all about enduring.

LisaRose

I doubt your parents would want you to feel bad about it, they would probably just be happy to know you came to your senses and can enjoy the holidays now. Being miserable certainly won't do them any good, so have a good time, and give some money to the salvation army in their honor.

J-DUBBED

I know your parents are looking over you now and being so proud you woke up from the Cult-Club.

Does your Daughter see you at Christmas?

Oh, and.................Have a Very Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year.

WTWizard

And I hope the washtowel babble and crap slaveholdery has a dreary Christmas and a crappy New Year (the whole year) to pay for the dreary Christmases and crappy new years they inflicted on their members. Especially children who were born in and never got to experience anything but field circus on the holidays. And I am hoping someone with a zillionth of a brain in a high court heavily penalizes the washtowel when they try and go after people for "breach of contract" when they are inactive or doing things against their rules. (As the Scientologists already do.) Hopefully, also when the dollar becomes toilet paper next year, the washtowel is punished to the max.

As for everyone else, I suggest boycotting donations and instead putting whatever you were going to donate into silver. When the dollar becomes toilet paper, you will have that silver to live on while they are destitute. Do not donate this silver to the washtowel--let them get punished with severity for all the dreary Christmases and crappy new years they have inflicted.

quellycatface

I'm so sorry you feel down. It's a tricky time of year.

My Mum is still "in" and so disappointed I am out and going to a mainstream church. I hung the phone up on her late August and I haven't spoken to her since. Her husband is a non-jw and really misses Christmas. I feel sorry for him. At least we are free to celebrate as we wish.

Thinking of you.

Merry Christmas and a peaceful New Year.

Heaven

Quandry, I can relate to what you've said about losing loved ones. Christmas time makes me feel sad as I cannot spend time with them anymore. Death is permanent. And there is no coming back. Cherish those you have left.

mgmelkat

I used to hate Christmas. I was always reminded of how alone and traditionless our family was, while every family were celebrating together. This year we had our first Christmas (early before we met up with my JWdad) and my JW mum joined us, participated and enjoyed herself. I thinks she feels really guilty about it now though. But for me and my kids- best day ever!!!!

Quandry

Thanks all for your replies.

J-Dubbed-Yes, thankfully my daughter is out with us. She does come over with her husband, who has never been a JW.

There was some resentment for awhile because we raised her as a JW. She was disfellowshipped in the most awful manner at sixteen years old by FIVE elders in a back room who humiliated and berated her, accusing her of things she did not do. She was shy, had never been in any trouble, was an honor student, etc.She was friends with other girls in the congregation who were apparently doing some bad things, and my daughter was accused with them, even though they tried to tell the B@S^%^s that she was not involved.

That is what began our exit from the cult. You might say my rose colored glasses were slapped off my face when I realized how "spiritual shepherds" could speak to a young person, and how quickly they look to throw them away.

Sometimes it takes something extreme for a person to see this group as it really is.

I can only tell you that you may have to swallow expecially hard and include the new wife in your invitations.

Sorry for that realization.

talesin

You're a good mom, and I am sure your parents would be proud. That was very moving, your daughter's JC brought back a lot of memories (but she has parents who really DO love her), and smiling through a bit of mist here. Missing the mom I never had (hey we are never too old for that), and thank you for sharing and being inclusive. xo

Feeling down as Christmas nears

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