Feeling down as Christmas nears

by Quandry 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    I don't think I've started but one or two threads before. I find myself sitting here listening to beautiful instrumental Christmas music and feeling down.

    You see, I was "in" for over thirty years. Thirty years with no Christmas. My parents felt abandoned, and rightly so. They grieved and wished for my company, sitting all alone. Me? Oh, I had so many "friends" with which to spend my time-going out in service, doing anything but going home to be with my parents. Now they are both gone, and I am feeling the weight of all the loneliness I now have. The many years wasted-given to the WTS.

    I would give anything to invite my parents to my home, serve them a wonderful dinner, and sing Christmas songs together.

    If you have parents that are still alive, please call and go see them. If you are shunned, please know that I grieve with you.

    I hate the WT.

  • finally awake
    finally awake

    I'm sorry :(

  • LostGeneration
    LostGeneration

    Sorry you are down tonight, Quandry. Try not to beat yourself up, remember the good times you had with your parents.

    Thank you for the advice, one of my parents is out, and I've finally enjoyed Xmas with them for a few years, after three decades of never even having the option of celebrating.

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    Thanks, guys. I know I'm just feeling sorry for myself and so many have it so much worse. Thanks for thinking of me.

  • J-DUBBED
    J-DUBBED

    Quandry that's exactly how I see what's left of my life. The wife and I having Christmas's without our Son. If and when he finally awakes........But we're gone.

    I see my son in your shoes, exactly. Except I don't think I'll have another thirty years.....

    What a waste.

  • wannaexit
    wannaexit

    Quandry try not to beat yourself up. You did what you did with the knowledge you had at the time. As lost generation said " remember the good times you had with your parents". I am sorry you are feeling so down tonight. I hope tomorrow is a better day

  • Iown Mylife
    Iown Mylife

    (((Quandry))) we can't know what we didn't know but do our best when we do know❤️

    Marina

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    J-Dubbed-I love your name and welcome to the forum.

    I went back and looked at some of your posts. The one about your son being mad about being lied to about Santa, etc. made me remember feeling the same. It's hard to remember back that far. When I became a JW I was 21 and now I am 63.

    I do wish to tell you that initially my parents and I argued a lot. This really only made me dig my heels in further. You know how it is when you are young and on your "high horse." You mentioned in an earlier post that you were going to have coffee with your son. How did that go?

    My best advice is to tell your son how proud of him you are (swallow hard) and try to get him to feel good about himself. Wish I could offer more than that. Just don't get him on the defensive.

  • Mum
    Mum

    It might do you good to volunteer at a soup kitchen or, in some other way, reach out to your fellow human beings in need. I am often amazed at the good cheer and kindness of the down-and-out.

    Don't be hard on yourself, whatever you decide to do. We can't change the past.

    Wishing you a Merry Christmas!

  • Jeannette
    Jeannette

    Quandry, you came to the right place to talk. Probably most of us on this forum have gut-wrenching tales having to do with our family, our being so blinded and standing up for the truth then finding out it was a scam. And after years and years of faithful service, giving them money, going out in service and collecting money to send to N.Y. we have so many feelings. Feelings of stupidity, regret for the lost years, missing out on our parents, our children. It's just pathetic. I, too, am feeling really bad this Christmas as I took Christmas away from my children, and they resent it so much. Can't blame them. Did not even send my parents a card, and now they're gone. Took Christmas and all the fun away from myself. I don't know how to replace the lost years. I was in for 40 years. Drat it.

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