The Noah's ark : What a nonsense!

by coalize 11 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

coalize

1. A shitty start

We don't have to wait more than 4 verses of Genesis 6 to put our feet in a big stinky bullshit :

Consequently, Jehovah saw that man’s wickedness was great on the earth and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only bad all the time. Jehovah regretted that he had made men on the earth, and his heart was saddened. So Jehovah said: “I am going to wipe men whom I have created off the surface of the ground, man together with domestic animals, creeping animals, and flying creatures of the heavens, for I regret that I have made them.” But Noah found favor in the eyes of Jehovah. (Genesis 6:5-8)

But it's totally stupid! At the last news I had, God was omniscient! Then he know everything : the past, the futur, the present, and even why people are stroking more stronger the keys of their defective keyboard even if it's unusefull. Then he had to know that the Man will screw up, and if that bother him so much, he just had to not create it. Especially that, finally didn't change nothing at all, like prove it one of the last verse of the story :

Surtout qu’au final, toute cette extermination ne change strictement rien comme le prouve un des derniers verset de l’histoire de Noé :

And Jehovah began to smell a pleasing aroma. So Jehovah said in his heart: “Never again will I curse the ground on man’s account, for the inclination of the heart of man is bad from his youth up;and never again will I strike down every living thing as I have done. (Genesis 8.21)

And God needs a total holocaust to realize that? What a stupid! It was the more stupid divine action never seen!

OK, I overemphasize! The holocaust is not total because God decided to save Noah and his family. Why Noah? Nobody really know :

"Noah was a righteous man. He proved himself faultless among his contemporaries. Noah walked with the true God. In time Noah became father to three sons, Shem, Ham, and Ja′pheth. But the earth had become ruined in the sight of the true God, and the earth was filled with violence. Yes, God looked upon the earth, and it was ruined; all flesh had ruined its way on the earth. After that God said to Noah: “I have decided to put an end to all flesh, because the earth is full of violence on account of them, so I am bringing them to ruin together with the earth." (Genesis 6:9-13)

God have big gaps of exactness. "Righteous and faultless", ok, but on which standards??? The 10 commandments didn't exist, then how to know who make good and who make bad? And the children ? Hop we kill everybody because they don't follow the law I will give later?

OK, I guess that I see the bad everywhere! If the bible say that God is love, It's certainly true!

2. The building of the ark.

Ok, now God is resolute to drown everybody for nothing, (and don't ask me why he didn't just click his fingers to make them disapear, perhaps he had lost the user manual after having created the universe in 6 days), Noah have to save his family and the animals. But, God, in his greatness will give him very precise directives :

" Make for yourself an ark from resinous wood. You will make compartments in the ark and cover it with tar inside and outside. This is how you will make it: The ark should be 300 cubits long, 50 cubits wide, and 30 cubits high. You will make a window for light for the ark, one cubit from the top. You should put the entrance of the ark in its side and make it with a lower deck, a second deck, and a third deck. "(Genesis 6.14-16)

You are so great my God! I'm sure Noah was happy with that. Tomorrow, I will ask a friend to build me a space shuttle with leather seat and carbon hood and I will say, to help him : The shuttle will be 400 meters high, will be in titan, with a porthole! Let's go winner!

OK! Let's accept the creationnist way of thinking taht Gog gave by telepathy all the plans of the ark and a third dan belt of carpentry. But you have to explain me now how Noah will brave the physics law to build a boat of 138 meters long, when all the boat builders in the world say that sailing in ocean with a wood boat more than 100 meters long is only suicide! The only boat more long than that had steel armatures and was taking water a lot. That's explain why, more the technics of sailing was great, more the boats was more and more high and short, and not long and low like the ark!

OK! Let's accept that a boat defying all naval logical architectural rules can sail because of a miracle from the hat of god, you have to build it, and it's far to be easily done! If you count Noah, his wife and his sons, they are 8 to build the more big boat of the human history. Sure, they have hundreds of year (because the story say that noah lived many hundreds years), but the french in the XVIeme century, build boats half of the size of the ark and it was 300 people working during 3 years to finish it... Then for 8 people, you need 225 years to build the ark! But the creationnists have an explanation for that : Noah recruit a lot of people to help him! You have to explain me how Noah will psychologically motivate the people to work on the ark during several years and to find closed door the day D! Then it's not possible Noah made work people for him. Then you will have to explain me how the first planks, 225 years old, are still great and are nor rotten! But the creationnists have an explanation for that too : That's why he used tar! tar? the hydrocarbur? Ok! Then how Noah could find hydrocarbur ? Creationnists say that it's the deluge who created hydrocarbur! And we can continue with these points :

3. Animals & logistic

4. Boarding of the magical zoo

5. The Flood : Strength of rain

6. The life on board

7. After the Flood
darth frosty

I have always said you cant get out of the book of genesis without major flaws and plot pitfalls
Spectre

Lets see....

So the universe is almost 15 billion years old. Our solar system is almost 5 billion years old. He went through the whole process of experimenting with dinosaurs and all over 100s of millions of years. He finally gets to the point of making a sentient being and within 2000 years he says, "I've completely screwed this whole creation thing up, you all die now." What an wishy washy asshole!
Vidiot

The more one tries to use rational explanations to defend the historicity of the Deluge account, the harder it is to to believe.

Eventually you get to the point where its veracity requires so much supernatural intervention that it completely undermines its own credibility, even to those who'd otherwise subscribe to the possibility of supernatural intervention.
sowhatnow

i dont know what to think about that , but this link from an older post was good reading.
http://awgue.weebly.com/does-jehovahs-witnesses-blood-policy-reflect-they-understand-noahs-flood.html
there are other equally good articles there.
LisaRose

Why even have a flood in the first place? If God is all knowing and all powerful he could have simply made everyone but Noah disappear. Is he so cruel as to prefer that people suffer and die a horrible death, even children?
sowhatnow

yea really, were better than God? that we wouldn't have done anything the way he did, lol
kairos

Most JW's are not even aware of the finer details of the flood account.
The basic FACT that there simply is not, nor has there ever been enough water to actually cover even the shortest hills of the entire earth.
It's total fantasy and I am ashamed that I believed and taught it as truth for as long as I did.
coalize

Let's continue...
3. Animals and logistics
And again, bad start with a rambling God, incapable to repeat three times the same directive!
And bring into the ark two of every sort of living creature in order to preserve them alive with you, a male and a female; of the flying creatures according to their kinds, the domestic animals according to their kinds, and all creeping animals of the ground according to their kinds, two of each will go in there to you to preserve them alive. (Genesis 6:19-20)
You must take with you every kind of clean animal by sevens, the male and its mate; and of every animal that is not clean just two, the male and its mate; also of the flying creatures of the sky by sevens, male and female, to preserve their offspring alive over all the earth. (Genesis 7:2,3)
They went in with every wild animal according to its kind, and every domestic animal according to its kind, and every creeping animal of the earth according to its kind, and every flying creature according to its kind, every bird, every winged creature. They kept going to Noah inside the ark, two by two, of every sort of flesh that has the breath of life. (Genesis 7:14,15)
It's totally crazy! One time it speaks about species, the another time it speaks about animals, another time about "every sort of living creature". One time you need two of each, the another time seven for the birds and the pure animals, And at this moment of the bible story nobody have explained what's pure, what's not!
And you need one male and one female. And how you do with the hermaphrodits snails? And the animals who change of sex in their lifetime? How Noah made for the travel in ark don't become YMCA party?
Then as usually, God is a big senile, as well as a blockhead in animal anatomy...
Eh wait, I think about that : Are all the animals of the creation able to enter in the magic barge?
To answer this question, we must to calculate the free space of the ark. To do so, there is 4 methods :
1. The method of the creationnist who hate mathematics : "The ark was very big like three soccer field on three level". Ok! Let's continue with highly scientific units! To make it more clear, i will now count in my granfather garden. Oh, no, let's count in toilet paper leaves...
2. The method of the creationnist without scruples : "Of course it was enough big, all the animals entered"
3. The method of the creationnist who like mathematics, but not architecture : It's easy, the bible says the ark is 138 x 23 x 14 meters = 44436 meters cube, that's a lot! OMG, the Noah's ark was build totally with air!
4. The method normal : The ark is made with walls and stairs, it can look like this :

I don't want to boring everybody with space calcul, but, the structure of the ark take around 25% linimum of the space. Then the remaining space is really less than 35 000 meters cube.
Ok, now we have calculated and overevaluated the space, we have to calculate the number of animals we have to put inside!
On wikipedia (please don't laugh, some people take the bible like a encyclopedical source) we find that it exists between 5 and 30 millions of living species and only 2 million are scientificlly described. Because it's my day of gift, let's forget the 25 millions of species we don't know, and let's assume only 2 millions of species entered in the ark. It makes 4 000 000 of animals to enter in the ark (they enter in couple). It's less than chinese, but it's really too much for the ark!
Even the more crazy of the creationnist, understand very well it's not possible. Then they find a lot of funny stratagems to decrease this number
Stratagem n°1 : Without the fishes.: "Eh guys, let's say the fishes wasn't in the ark, like that it let more places to put inside the fat ass of the elephants! And a fish, it's not a little water who make him die!"
Eh, it's not great to say the contrary of God, muthafuckin heretic creationnists!
So He wiped every living thing from the surface of the earth, including man, animals, creeping animals, and the flying creatures of the sky. They were all wiped off the earth;+ only Noah and those with him in the ark survived. (Genesis 7:23)
And even if God allow that, the fishes can't live in alln the waters! Let's try to put a freshwater fish in the ocean, and you will see him to swim backstroke like a myopath! The same thing with fishes of ocean. With so much rain, le salt level of the water will change fast, and the poor fishes will die very fast! And don't forget that the water and the earth mix... Let's try to mix a glass of earth in three glass of water to recreate your own see of deluge, and put your goldenfish in it to see how many time he survive!

Stratagem n° 2 : The Kawaii stratagem : "Noah didn't had to take adults animals. He just had to takes babies and eggs, "
Ok, but even if we divide the size by 10, 20 or 50, It's not enough space for the 4 000 000 of babies and eggs! And the travel of Noah will last 371 days! They don't grow? And the babies have more chance to die than adults. When we know, that if one baby die, it's the end of the species!
Stratagem n°3 : The Baramin stratagem : "You will laugh, when God said species, he talk about the big families of animals, like the canides (dogs, wolf and garous). By families, like that, we arrive at 8 000 species and it fit perfectly!"
Wait a minute! They are saying that all the animals we know today, have EVOLVED from a little group of species in 4 000 years? What a scam!
They must to call a godly version of evolution to make believable a biblical legend, claimed as a contrariness of the evolution! Amazing! I would cry if I wasn't freeze-dried!

(to be continued...)
rebel8

I just realized that jehoopla changed his mind about killing everyone and saved Noah instead. Changed his mind. What, his decision was wrong?

The Noah's ark : What a nonsense!

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