You have to be strong

by troubled mind 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    Standing up for yourself,and deciding to follow your own path takes strength . You have to be strong especially if you were raised in a way of life that dictated so much of who you were . While being raised as a Jehovah's Witness I was taught to follow ,unquestionally follow .I was told to put others before myself ,serve,don't stand out ,don't be independent . Be molded and remain with in the group . To finally pull yourself from this life long concept of living is difficult .

    I appreciate every personal story told here over the past ten yrs . I have learned so much here on this forum . I think we all have a deep inner strength to be free ,to live the life we truly want to live. This strength must be tapped into though, because it lays deep ,under many taught behaviors ,and unfortunate concepts that hold us back .

    I am thankful this forum exists as a sounding board ,and a place to vent . I have also read stories or had comments made that really made me think .There were times, I admit, I felt sometimes comments stepped on my toes ,but I kept coming back and eventually learned there are more than one way to look at matters . Slowly my naive JW thinking began to peel away ,and I began using the critical thinking skills I never knew I had .

    When I was a Witness there were so many times that I just rolled over, and did anything to please others no matter how I was affected . I often would just think I was wrong ,and everyone else was right . I felt like a doormat .

    I find now I no longer have those old feelings (well most of the time) I think I have been helped immensely because of the diverse conversations on this forum .

    If you are new on here give it some time . Realize it is a process of healing after you leave the Witness lifestyle. You will have saddness,anger ,moments of doubt even guilt . Over time you slowly can see good things too . Like just the pure joy of freedom of thought . Happiness instead of constant feelings of guilt over not doing enough .

    Every circumstance is different .Learn to take what you can use and leave the rest . One size does not fit all ....but at least you now can find the fit or try on several things until the fit is comfortable .

    I just felt like posting tonight hoping to encourage anyone out there struggling not to give up .Keep reading ,keep questioning until you feel you are in the place you want to be .

    Thank you so much Simon for providing this avenue of discussion .

  • smiddy
    smiddy

    A great post troubled mind spoken from the heart , I totally agree with you

    smiddy

  • truthseekeriam
    truthseekeriam

    What a great post.

    there really is so much good on this forum, sometimes that means skipping over some threads (race) that upset me and focus on the many others that encourage us to be better and stronger.

  • naazira
    naazira

    well said!

  • clarity
    clarity

    Beautifully written TM .... words of experience &

    wisdom. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

    Sometimes on here I feel invisable, my words

    unseen.

    I think maybe the font that pours out on the

    screen is so very tiny, so miniscule that no one sees it,

    no one reads.

    Am I just writing for myself ......yes, in some ways!

    Yes because "we teach what we need to know" ........!

    Our words help us to solidify how we really feel.

    We can air our thoughts out in public like laundry

    hanging in the wind .....

    *

    So just to add to your comment "If you are new on here

    give it some time" ......

    clarity

  • stuckinarut2
    stuckinarut2

    Thankyou!

    Well said.

  • disposable hero of hypocrisy
    disposable hero of hypocrisy

    Thanks troubled mind, your words came at just the right time for me. Being still in, the indoctrination can still have a hold on me at times. This helped.. Thanks man!

  • Phizzy
    Phizzy

    I agree with all you wrote TM, and echo my thanks to Simon and all on here.

    It is ironic that JW's will often label those of us who become "inactive" as ones who are "weak", in reality to cease FS, to stop going to Meetings etc takes a huge amount of strength of character, and courage.

    It is all worth it though, to have true freedom of thought and action, and to have personal integrity, being true to oneself, is of incomparable value.

  • Phizzy
    Phizzy

    A quote which is very appropriate to our position:

    “Knowing can be a curse on a person's life. I'd traded in a pack of lies for a pack of truth, and I didn't know which one was heavier. Which one took the most strength to carry around? It was a ridiculous question, though, because once you know the truth, you can't ever go back and pick up your suitcase of lies. Heavier or not, the truth is yours now.”

    Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees:

  • Phaedra
    Phaedra

    That was beautiful, troubled mind.

    Phae

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