It's all coming back...

by SoJo16 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • SoJo16
    SoJo16

    Hi Everyone!

    i joined the board this month and holy cow, are there ever some interesting points of view here.

    A bit about my background: My Dad was an unbaptised born-in who nevertheless went to Vietnam and college where he met my Mom. Mom was Lutheran, but Dad told her the only religion he was interested in belonging to was the JDubs. They married in the early 70s and were both baptized. I came along in 76. I got baptized a month before my 12th birthday. My mom was really 'encouraging' me to get baptized, and I think I realized that my doing it so young and being such an exemplary little sister would improve her status in the congo, since Dad only ever advanced to mic carrier. In my early teens I hoped to go to Bethel, but the elders told me Bethel had no interest in single sisters. Soon after, I was chided by an elders wife for daring to ask a question of an elder about a point in the daily text. After those experiences, I started to realize just how sexist the organization was. I started living a 'double life' and planned my escape to college. I was disfellowshipped for smoking cigarettes just before I left for college, and I was pretty much on my own until my sister disassociated herself five years later. Went to college about an hour away from my Midwest town, because there was no way I was going to stay in my hometown and run into witnesses all the time. Stayed in school a long time figuring out what to do and eventually went to law school. While in school, married a Canadian and emigrated to Canada in 2005.

    I haven't darkened the door of a Kingdom Hall since I was disfellowshipped. My mother doesn't shun me completely, but I almost wish she did because I find it tough to maintain a genuine relationship with her. I hadn't really kept up with changes to JW beliefs since I left, and thought of myself as a perfectly well-adjusted Ex-witness and atheist. Then recently the hubs started looking into pagan beliefs and witchcraft, and I was freaking out with disapproval about how it was demonized and I didn't want it in my house, and he wondered where this complete wall of disapproval I was putting up was coming from. And then of course I had an ah ha! moment. I know who taught me to worry about things being demonized! Reading through all the posts this month, I think I was probably carrying around a lot of guilt too about having left without realizing it.

    anyway, as I noted before, I find this board a crazy and wonderful place, and I've decided to be a bit more challenging to my mom when she makes comments about how bad things are in this system of things, or asks me if I still think about Jehovah. instead of trying to change the subject I'm going to start asking her questions, like maybe about how she feels about all the child sex assault claims the WBTS has settled. I'll keep you posted on how that goes.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
  • LisaRose
    LisaRose

    Welcome. It's funny that it seems no matter how long you are out you occasionally find yourself reacting out of JW induced fear. I recently had my Palm read, just to get over that lingering uncomfortable feeling about it from my JW days.

    Glad you found us.

    Lisa

  • Hortensia
    Hortensia

    Hi, so glad to hear you got out of the wtbts and got your education. I love all the different opinions on this forum and all the experiences that so many have shared. Glad you're here, too.

  • joe134cd
    joe134cd

    Trust me my relatives think that sex abuse in the WTBTS sex is a wicked apostate conspiracy theory.

  • joe134cd
    joe134cd

    Trust me my relatives think that sex abuse in the WTBTS is a wicked apostate conspiracy theory.

  • talesin
    talesin

    Hi there, and welcome. :))

    That was a problem I had a while back with friends who were exploring wicca. Although I was drawn to the wonderful thoughts of loving the EARTH, the very word "ritual" sent me into flashback.

    Once I researched paganism, and realized that 'demons', for us as exJWs, are mostly a Christian construct (and to the scholars on board, yes I KNOW that demons abound in other ancient religions, so please let me make a point without a technical analysis), I started to move from a position of fear to one of curiosity.

    If you are an atheist, then let your logic prevail. It took me a while, but I let nature take its course - by that, I mean that I read about different pagan religions, and it was really interesting. I became even more drawn to those belief systems, and felt a kinship. Some pagans worship NO god, and there are so many ways to honour the 'old' ways, it's quite amazing.

    My only real belief is in Gaia, and that is not a religion, but a philosophy. Simply put, the Earth is one organism, and we are one part of that organism, as are all the organic and nonorganic things on this beautiful planet. Working in harmony with our environment, and all other living things, can bring peace of mind and contribute to overall happiness.

    xo

    tal

  • Fernando
    Fernando

    Welcome SoJo16.

  • sparrowdown
    sparrowdown

    Welcome SoJo, just out of curiousity why is hubby looking into witchcraft and paganism, is it for academic or personal reasons?

  • Vidiot
    Vidiot

    One of coworkers and best friends is "pagan"/Wiccan and a spiritualist.

    One of these days I plan to get her to read the cards for me (not that neccessarily believe in that sort of thing - I'm mostly agnostic - but I though it might be a fun experience).

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