by Truth and Justice 19 Replies latest jw friends
"necessary family business" what would that be. I went back as far as 1970 to find something definite described. Imagine material matters are more important than finding out their health, are they hungry, etc.
*** w70 6/1 pp. 351-352 Questions From Readers *** Yet, there might be some absolutely necessary family matters requiring communication, such as legalities over a will or property.
"necessary family business"
...which translates to "don't forget to keep him in the will!"
George
I didn't realize that Blondie, I always assumed it was in regards to serious health problems or desperate situations where help was needed. That is how the JWs in my family have taken it as. The quote from the W 70 would suggest it is more than 'necessary family business' it would signify 'unavoidable family business'
I have seen so many incidents where the DFing of someone led to a variety of degrees of shunning. Most of it was based on the personal relationship with close friends and relatives. The latter seemed to be the most severe. Many resentful relatives with ISSUES used the DFing to allow absolutely disgusting, ugly behaviour.
An example is when a close family member passes away the JW relatives won't even tell them and would make it clear that they were not welcome at the memorial service. This is way beyond what the WT called for. It was personal animosity against someone that would leave the club.
Hi,
My take on ones contacting faders & DF'd ones....they want to talk to someone that's not judgmental as they are...so they may be laying the ground work to start communicating again. They know something is just not right, but can't talk to anyone in the hall, so they reach out to ones who no longer go. They want to say something but can't...it gets stuck in their throat. I talk to many of the friends at the hall....if I allowed it...my phone would be ringing off the hook & I wouldn't have anytime for myself...Most of the friends just don't want to be judged, they just want to talk..& not have you say, Well, Jehovah says...Also, they have found out that all worldly people are not what the society says they are...many of the friends deal with worldly people on a daily basis..on the train, bus, stores, work, etc...now they have also found out that some of the friends aren't as nice as some of the worldly people....
When you are at a meeting...look at the body language...when something doesn't sit right...they stiffen up...I see it all the time...oh by the way...I'm a witness...but I know TTATT...I don't say one word...just keep my thoughts to myself..& say what they all say when some of the doctrine or some crazy mess is being said from the stage..."Great Reminders"...Expect that many will be reaching out to DF'd & Faders...they have no one left to talk too...& they are too afraid to talk to their brothers & sisters in the hall...
My thoughts...let them talk ....you never know...they just may come away...don't shun like they do...your conduct will speak volumes...Show them that it's ok out here in the world...
Legacy
They know something is just not right, but can't talk to anyone in the hall, so they reach out to ones who no longer go. They want to say something but can't.
I agree with Legacy. There is lots of murmuring going on, but it's only in whispers, because that's the way WTS forces it to be. It is not allowed to question things, so there is whispering going on behind the scenes.
And why not? Who could possibly buy into this OVERLAPPING bullsh!t? Anyone who isn't questioning it, doesn't even understand that there has been a change.
I have more than once heard the phrase of "making it into the New World via the 'Underground'", meaning dying in this system and being resurrected. What happened to the promise of never dying? Believe me, the old JWs (like my parents) began questioning things when this BS was spewed out from above.
The WTS was already losing the majority of young people. If the older ones start leaving too, they'll really get worried. That would mean the old ones leave with their CA$H instead of leaving any of it to WT.
Doc
@Doc,
I already know of a young person that wants to leave..the young ones are not from the Donna Reed generation....believing everything...The media has exposed everything...& the young ones, aren't stupid...not one bit....they want to have fun...they read & know exactly what they are reading...& if it doesn't make sense, they ain't buying into it...why do you think the Zone meeting touched on some things...the young ones are doing their thing...as young ones will always do. They have seen their parents & grandparents buy into this stuff, but not them..if they are still at home, I think they go through the motions, just to make Mom & Dad feel good. Plus we don't know what goes on in folks home..maybe even the parents are not drinking the kool-aide, & may even be encouraging the kids to leave even though the parents may think it's too late for them to leave...Get out before you get like me...son or daughter...
I have also realized for some of the friends...the Society is all they have... their entire world is the society....I know many friends that only associate with other witnesses...they have shunned everyone..I mean everyone...so they swallow their thoughts & go along to get along...& the friends are so busy in the ministry & so on, many don't have time for anyone...heck, the friends don't even have time for their kids...& the kids know it...so busy trying to make hours that they promised, because they added extra stress to their already stressed life...on one hand the society says, a dead person can't serve Jehovah but in the same breath...can you improve on your ministry, return visits...research, family study...meditate...what about looking at your circumstances to see if you can learn a new language or go where the need is greater...etc...humans have a guilty gene anyway...and the Society knows that...they know many of us have guilts from our pass & so they play on that...Stayed tuned, yawl...many will see more & more friends reaching out to us that TTATT...
Legacy
Truth and Justice:
You state that your brother is an elder. Elders have special dispensation to speak to disfellowshipped persons. That doesn't include social contact, but elders are even required to, once a year, contact disfellowshipped persons who were once associated with their congregation to ask if they're ready to take steps to come back to the fold. It sounds like your conversation with your brother was more of a social call, but he can probably justify it under the existing rules. I guess WTS thinks that elders are better able to resist the siren call of apostates and disfellowshipped ones than the rank and file are.
Good Morning to All,
I want to thank those ones that replied back to my question about whether the WTS had changed its rules about talking to DF or non-attenders. In answer, I am not disfellowshiped, just not associated.
I don't want to single out anybody, you all had great replies, and you answered my question.
Happy Trails to All!! Truth and Justice
Truth&Justice, I know that you want to believe that he is contacting you out of 'love for his brother'....but...I have had over 40 years of the occasional contact from my sister who is still a devout JW. Never once was the contact actually only about our being family. It always ended with her doing whatever she was told to by her congregation. Always.
I am of the opnion that these occasional contacts are only for the purposes of 'witnessing'. Don't forget the insiduousness of their 'ministry training'. Family contact with those who have 'fell away' is just an easy way for them to count time. Sorry...I don't mean to be rude, but, I never trust a JW until they become an exJW...and sometimes not even then. I would bet money that your brother dutifully marked down his time for the call.
These occasional contacts are 'allowed' at times - it gives the JWs still in a sense of purpose for a brief period - followed by the instilled persecution complex if the one 'fallen away' doesn't respond properly. The contact is really just 'love bombing'. The bottom line is and always will be - whatever the WTS says it is.
But...I could be wrong about your brother - maybe he really is making contact about his doubts - I just wonder why that didn't come up in your first contact if that were indeed true. It certainly would have been an opportunity for brother bonding if he had.
