I need an answer from an Elder or someone who knows!

by Truth and Justice 19 Replies latest jw friends

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  Truth and Justice

  Hi to All!

  My Brother after so many years decides to call me. I am totally surprised. I didn't know what to think.

  So I began to open up by saying "Hey ______, what a surprise! So good to hear from you, how have you been?" So he began to tell me how things have been. Then I ask him a pointed question, I am so curious, what's the occassion? why did you decide to call us?

  His reply was "well, I wanted to check up on you, I been thinking about you!" So we talked for another 10 minutes.

  My question to an elder is "Has there been any new information that allows him some leniency to communicate besides things pertaining to business? I do plan to call him back and try to have a pleasant brother to brother conversation. I certainly do love him. I can't imagine that with all the rapid changes undergoing the watchtower society, that maybe his heart is starting to feel an emptiness in his life now. He has had to see things going on, being that he is the Presiding overseer in the congregation. We have not given up praying for him and his family.

  As I always like to say "Happy Trails to All!"

  T-n-T
• 

  konceptual99

  I assume you are disfellowshipped and surprised at the contact. There has been no softening of the rules on contact, if anything the admonition to keep contact with disfellowshipped family to an absolute minimum has been reinforced over the past couple of years.

  I would guess your brother just wants to say hi and is proving blood is thicker than the edicts of the WTS.
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  Leeca

  l don't know what's up either. My parents who shunned me over many years, have started talking to me. Don't know why, maybe to do with all the changes & the overlapping generation thing or because they're aging. They even asked me & my partner ( who l'm not married to) to stay with them for a few days when i go on holidays in Feb. I'm confused. Dad was a fanatical JW. He said to ring my Nan who is a JW, when i mentioned about her not supposed to talk to me, he said " don't worry about that". Looks like the Org's hold is slipping. When i talk to them we don't mention religion. Mum obviously couldn't help herself & mentioned the international assembly, how many went, how well behaved everyone was, how they got praise from the train station in Melbourne for good behaviour. l managed a few grunts, then changed subject
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  Listener

  He may be becoming disheartened from something that has occurred, or for a number of things that have happened over time. I thought some of my family might never speak to me again other than 'family business' but this has not been the case.

  I would welcome his communication wholeheartedly but not mention anything religious with him at this stage. At best he may be in the very early stages of feeling that something is wrong but he doesn't know what and if you throw TTATT it may re-establish the original barriers. Make sure that he knows you can talk to him about anything and you are there, don't pressure him into telling you things that he is not ready to tell because he is unsure of his own feelings.

  It sounds like he misses you and is disobeying the org. by contacting you. This is a very good sign.
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  Leeca

  Forgot to add, i'm not DFed, i just decided not to go to another meeting. That was about 10 years ago. Fortunately for me my now ex husband wasn't a JW. Nobody at the cong actually noticed i stopped attenting. No phone calls, no visits. Most were wrapped up in their own lives.
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  Listener

  That's great news Lecca and like the opening poster it's even better news that they aren't calling because they want to lecture you on coming back. They may mention it in the future but more out of duty and not because they will stop communication again if you don't respond.. It's as if their love for you has surfuced again despite the efforts of the organization.
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  Balaamsass2

  Great news! I have heard some blowback from JWs from crazy Tony Morris's talk. He may have been on the net.
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  dozy

  I wouldn't read too much into it.

  I'm faded but largely shunned by my family ( brothers & sisters & cousins), but very occasionally out of the blue one of them will send a text or phone me for a few minutes. It seems to be pretty random & communication is always on their own terms ( ie don't call me , I'll call you) and any phone call is quickly terminated by them after a few minutes as if they are scared that it becomes a long conversation. It seems to be a vague "touching base" interaction , usually with the initial excuse of talking about some kind of trivial family news such as a minor family illness or death of some relative.

  My sister , for example , phoned me recently for the first time for 3 years on the pretext to tell me that "Uncle Joe" had cancer - it seemed really strange that she felt she had to inform me as neither of us have had any contact with him for probably about 30 years & I had to scratch my head to remember him. We briefly chatted for a few minutes about our parents health & caught up on what our kids are doing then she said quite abruptly "Well I just felt I needed to tell you about "Uncle Joe" - I need to go now." and that was it. Then a couple of days later my brother texted me with the same news. It seemed almost be be somewhat contrived & co-ordinated.

  Maybe they justify the contact as "necessary family business". Occasional contact - then absolutely nothing - absolute radio silence - for another couple of years.

  Sometimes we forget that these guys , although WTBTS loyalists , are human as well. Maybe they miss the company. Maybe they need a few minutes of time to book that month on their report & a RV ( I've noticed that often the interactions are " truth oriented" - eg they mention a convention or the fact that they are pioneering that month ). Maybe they hope that by keeping some kind of vague contact we will eventually go back to the KH. Or maybe at some deep unconscious level they are uncertain themselves. Who knows?
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  The Searcher

  I think the overriding factor is that the dramatic reversals in doctrines during the past decade have 'stumbled' so many long-term Witnesses, and now they refuse to accept the almost infallibility of the Org.

  We were visited a few days ago by an older Elder and his wife (because we were missed at the meeting) from our new cong.

  They seemed very nice, but what I deduced from their conversations was that they are not at all comfortable with the direction of the Org. Also, the Elder made it clear that his BoE are intent on holding on to the congs bank balance, rather than hand the bulk of it to the Org!!!

  Can't wait to see the tug-of-war over that chunk of cash!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  BluesBrother

  Nothing has changed , see this :

  • Wt 2013 1/15
  • Let Nothing Distance You From Jehovah

  Do not look for excuses to associate with a disfellowshipped family member, for example, through e-mail. ( 1 Cor. 5:11 )

  Of course if the person was never officially d/f'd, the Wt do not ban members from talking to them, although it seems that some will choose to shun them