Guilt, Regret or Denial

game1914over

In your time of being a witness, have you witnessed a JW experience death of a loved one due to refusal of a blood transfusion? I know this is an extremely sensitive subject and can reopen deep emotional wounds. If you're willing to share, I am interested. Such was the case of a childhood friend in my circuit. She died of leukemia at 13 years old due to lack of a transfusion. Her parents allowed her to die and caused a great uproar amongst their extended family. The girl's father (an elder) died 10 years afterwards from a massive heart attack. At this girl's memorial service, the brother that gave the talk closed it saying, "Brother and Sister _____. Don't worry for long....you're going to see her back again in a few days."

I saw her mother at this weekend's Branch Meeting and her physical appearance now looks unrecognizable. Her spirit is still joyful and positive, but when I looked into her eyes she reminded me of a POW that has been captive and on the verge of insanity.

I'm sorry, but 22 years is pushing the limit in comparison to "a few days."

It's possible that she may have still lost her battle even if she did get the transfusion. But there is always that "what if" question...

If this has happened to someone that you know, how are they dealing with it or have dealt with it through the years? Is there a sense of guilt or regret? Or have they just put it all behind?

Absalom

One of my friends died 8 years ago in a car crash. He was 23, they air lifted him to nearest hospital and begged him to take blood, but he refused. I have no idea if a blood transfusion would have saved him, and back then I was full on kool aid drinker.

Now after doing research and reading what the bible actually says, there is no way you can say that God wouldn't allow you to take blood for medical reasons.

I have no feelings of guilt or regret, I'm angry that I was raised in a cult, didn't realize that fact until I was 32, and am now in an unhappy marriage with a full on hard core dub, and whose very much prominent in family will shun me if I leave. So that leaves me stuck at the moment.

Welcome to the forum!

Separation of Powers

Like Absalom, I am angry...I feel no guilt, nor regret, nor denial...those have morphed over the years to anger plain and simple....I have seen many die due to not taking blood...for the majority it was their choice. However, there were a few young ones where that decision was made by their parents after considerable "encouragement" from the elders. I recall the Awake! magazine from May 22 1994, entitled, "Youths who put God first" This magazine featured the death of 3 young witnesses who needed transfusions. They "chose" to abstain. All three died. Now, no one knows if a transfusion would have helped or not...who could tell? The reality though is that these were kids, plain and simple, kids who should not have been allowed to make a life and death decision like that due to the fact that they were "encouraged" by people whose lives were not on the line. Their loss angers me. They lost their lives because someone told them "GOD" expected them to make that decision or else lose out on eternal life. Angry? I am downright enraged!!

At this moment in my life, I do not believe in the hereafter, or the next life, or heaven, or eternal life in paradise. If it exists, then I hope that God, if there is one, recognizes that I have been as sincere in life as I could. I have tried to help more than harm. I have loved deeply those who are my own. That should count for something. I am sure he understands my anger.

As for the brother who commented on "a few days," well, he thought he was being a comfort...turns out he may well have fulfilled the proverb on "expectation postponed makes the heart sick." Can't blame him for touting the party line....

game1914over

@Absalom: Sorry to hear about your friend.

@Separation of Powers: That 1994 propaganda article was sick sick sick. I cried when I read it as a little girl. You know what hurts the most? Hearing witness parents tell their children "I would do the same thing to you!" Arrrrggggggg

Your 2nd paragraph sums up exactly how I feel!

Mum

Several years ago, after I had already been free for several years, there was a national news story about a JW who died from lack of a blood transfusion. I think she'd been in an auto accident, but I don't recall the details. I had known this woman when I was a JW. I met her in a laundromat first. She had just moved to town, and then she was at the next meeting I went to at the KH. She was married and had small children. We went in service together and developed a friendship.

When I saw the story on the news years and years later, I was horrified. A reporter interviewed her husband. His take on the situation was that she had been a good wife, and he would have done anything to save her except approve a blood transfusion. His grown-up children were standing by. I was crushed because she was a very nice person.

The Watchtower leadership has damned itself to hell, if such a place exists.

game1914over

Sad indeed, Mum.

I truly believe that this girl's father succumbed to that heart attack on the 10th anniversary of her death because either the "few days" comment ate away at him or he couldn't live in denial anymore. I can't imagine how people can stand to cope years and years from now seeing that no Armageddon and/or ressurection has taken place.

GrreatTeacher

I had dated a guy (JW) in the early '90s who was in a terrible car crash, and when I went to the hospital, the HLC were hovering in the waiting room like a bunch of vultures. I got the feeling they were there to enforce the no blood policy rather than provide support.

He survived, life went on and we went our separate ways. Two years later I got a phone call that he had been in another car accident but this time had passed away after refusing a blood transfusion. It was really upsetting. To this day, people will say that he died from a car accident rather than from lack of a blood transfusion. Cognitive dissonance at its finest.

Finkelstein

In your time of being a witness, have you witnessed a JW experience death of a loved one due to refusal of a blood transfusion ?

Yes my mother, she was 70 years old and somehow acquired an infection that went into her blood stream, which her

Doctor at the time wanted to give her a complete BT so that they could start her with other antibiotics.

She refused and died 2 days later on.

Her death was a shock to all us in the family, but when it was leraned of what happened in the Hospital, incuding the actions by my JW father,

all the non JWS members sons and daughters really tore a strip off are father .

Fernando

Fortunately this was not part of the drama our family had to endure in this doomsday cult.

Oubliette

game1914over: If this has happened to someone that you know, how are they dealing with it or have dealt with it through the years? Is there a sense of guilt or regret? Or have they just put it all behind?

Life goes on, but you can never put something like that behind you.

For those that wake up, the sense of betrayal by the organization which we trusted is overwhelming.

The leaders of this religion make ridiculous demands of their followers, yet they NEVER take any responsibility for their actions.

Guilt, Regret or Denial

Share this