In honour of jgnat I have completed her template:
Is your wife still an active Witness? No thankfuly - she has only been to the Memorail, a Convention and the KH once this year and has done none of that for at least 6 months
Would you stay with your wife whether or not they ever left? Yes - I told her when she was in that I would stay with her no matter what and I meant it.
Did you have any background with the Witnesses before you met your wife? No, I just knew them as a slightly odd, slightly scary cult
How does your family feel about your relationship with a JW? Sympathetic
Do you have any status or influence at the Kingdom Hall? Absolutely none
When did you start investigating the Jehovah’s Witnesses seriously? When my wife got reinstated in early 2012 and started acting differently
Where did you find information? Internet sites? Books? Internet
How difficult or painful was the process of understanding the JW experience and their relationship with “Unbelievers”? Quite painful as I took the scare-mongering on JWN about relationships between JWs amd UBMs at face value
Was it a big dramatic revelation or a gradual realization? Dramatic revelation followed by a gradual realization that it wasn't as bad as I had been led to believe
Did you convince your wife to leave the Witnesses? What has that been like? I didn't convince her to leave - she stopped going of her own volition albeit she knew of my concerns. The longer she ahs been away the more she has returned to the person I knew and fell in love with. It has been great to get her back although there is still work to be done on her WBTS induced emotional dysfunction and phobias.
How were your family relations affected by your involvement with your wife? The biggest problem was trust. She hid things from me and neglected to tell me things to the point I became very suspicious. Arguing doctrine created a lot of stress and conflict.
Do you and your wife have extended friendships you both enjoy? Not yet - this is on the To Do list.
How long have you been together? Married for 4 years but together (of sorts) for 10 years.
Is there anything you look forward to doing with your JW if they ever leave? Getting her to walk into a church or cathedral as a tourist to appreciate the beauty of it would be a big step
What are you most proud of achieving in your relationship? Tough question - after 4 years of marriage and all the turmoil of 2012 and 2013 we have a strong marriage albeit with room for improvement in the communication department
Is there anything you appreciate about the Witness lifestyle? No - it is delusional and oppressive
Do you have any religious affiliation now? What do you believe? I was and remain an Atheist
How do you now feel about religion in general? I now see religion in more negative terms than before my exposure to t e WBTS but recognise that it fulfils a need for the majority of humanity and that banning it or condeming it is counterproductive. There is no right or wrong in this - all of us - even those who view themselves as very rational - are influenced by emotions, ego, bias, misperception and irrationality and so I don't feel well placed to condemn others for their beliefs. The WBTS on the other hand is a transparently fraudulent and psychologically abusive organisation.
Do you feel any guilt celebrating xmas or birthdays or doing any other JW "no-no"s? No - she was very happy to receive her birthday cards and presents this year.
Have you attended any face-to-face meetups of ex-JWs? Yes -with Laika and Kate Wild - both great people who I count as friends
How do you explain the JW experience to outsiders? Do you bother? I use 1984 analogies
Do you feel animosity or pity toward current JWs? Pity - they are victims
How do you respond to witnesses when they call at your door? Invite them in and offer them something to drink and have the argument about doctrine I can't have with my wife - they usually don't stay long - unfortunately with the carts they don't call around any more - or maybe I am marked
Storm the barricades or tend to the wounded? (do you favor activism or support) In terms of getting loved ones out - tending to the wounded - I tried storming the barricades but that failed dismally; in terms of exposing the WBTS - storming the barricades
What do you think is the most effective approach to reaching people still in? Unconditional love-bombing and patience and picking up on the reality of the misery of attending the KH and doing field service
Do you think the WTS can or should be destroyed, will continue on as-is or grow / change? It should be destroyed but won't be and will continue to morph in the interests of survival - I don't know whether they can keep doing this indefintiely - education is their enemy
How has your life been impacted by your involvement with your JW? Yes I had a very stressful 2012 and 2013 and until my wife has counselling she will carry the vestiges of her Witness upbringing and I still have Witness in-laws who view me with suspicion
Are there things in your life you blame the WTS for? No
How much of your time is still spent on JW related matters? Not much thankfully
What do you think of the ex-JW community? Diificult question - I think there is a lot of narrow-mindedness judgementalism on JWN but I am not on other discussion boards on the internet so I am not sure whether that is a function of ex-JWs or discussion boards. I think those who have been disfellowshipped are rightly bitter and angry and that can cloud judgement but is entirely understandable and by no means a criticism.
Do you see yourself still being associated with the ex-JW community in 5 or 10 years time? Not really - if my wife stays away - I don't have that much in common
What are your plans for the future? Take it as it comes
What advice would you give to anyone who is in love with a JW? Be careful and do your research and decide how important this person is to you and how far gone they are - I am not of the 'run as far and as fast as you can' school because everyone is capable of change.
What would you change in your life if you could go back and talk to yourself? I would have taken the love-bombing don't argue doctrine approach from the start
Do you have any regrets about your life with your wife? No - as they say - life is too short for regrets
Can we read your life-story anywhere? (links to online or books) No