by minimus 16 Replies latest jw friends
He is the WT's god. so if you loved him, and he stood for the mighty creator of the cosmos, It was proof the wt's mind control worked on you. He was real, watched you, controled you, he had to be real to you, to be loved,-- as commanded.
so: love lost. lost love?
The wt god was an usurper, love the real unassuming entity.
There are different words for types of love. I love Christ. Jehovah is another matter. He terrorized me with his immoral actions. WTBTS is responsible for my almost paranoid fear of Jehovah, an entity that never existed and whose name is not Jehovah. Being born-in meant that love was very conditional. Fear is not love. Today I am indifferent to Jehovah/ He commands no respect as a god. An old, prudish man hurling plagues, thunderbolts, and mass genocide is not worthy of worship. A male god who suppresed the existing goddess cults will never receive my attention.
Jehovah is synonmous with the WTBTS, a denier of basic rights. A lawless organization with too many failed prophecies. Jehovah is the god for people unwilling to open their Bible. The WT is no substitute for the Bible.
It is one of those things. You are supposed to love, you are expected to love, so you say you love and you try to prove it by actions.
I really, really wanted to and told everyone one I did because that was what I was supposed to do right?
But deep inside He never felt real. It was like I was praying to the air. I prayed my brains out and the only way things changed were when I did something to make them change. I tried and tried to say it was Jehovah who did this or that for me but in reality it was because I worked and did what I could to make this or that happen.
Like I was raised in the "truth" in a very abusive home. I prayed and prayed and prayed as a child, got on my knees and begged, pleading with Jehovah to help me with my parents so they would love me. To feel like I mattered to someone. I was just a kid of 8,9 years of age. I got nothing. No one stepped in though everyone knew my parents were abusing me. I have been told that now as an adult by the older ones in the hall that they knew. Yet not one did a thing to help me. And Jehovah never used them when He could have.
So no I never did love Jehovah because he never seemed real.
LITS
It's difficult to convince anyone that an invisible entity is real and furthermore should be given unconditional love. Tall order.
Is asking for THE proof of an existance of God too much before you dedicate your life to "him".
Think how embarrassing it would be it someone asked you for that proof after you had radically altered your life's persuits for decades and you couldn't provide it...
Oh, wait..
why?
