JW land is fantasyland.
Your wife is desiring the fulfillment that WTS teaches is achieved by being "spiritual."
It is impossible to achieve - hence frustation setting in is inevitable.
It is spiritual masturbation.
I need some input: I have come to the conclusion my wife blames me for her lack of spirituality
by goingthruthemotions 31 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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steve2
To be absolutely fair to your dear wife, she is responding the only way the organization equips people to respond: Blame external factors for your predicaments. Blame Satan, the world, the churches of Christendom, pagan practices, tv programs, movies. Blame, blame, blame...and for the truly sensitive, blame the way the brothers and sisters look at you and, shock, horror, stumble you. A chiild's playground is not more entertaining than a room full of seemingly "grown-up JWs all acting like children. I know: I was one.
The concept of being an adult who takes responsbility for his or her own life is alien and threatening. So the dutiful JW wife (in this case) uses emotional blackmail against her husband because, hey, that's exactly what the organization would do.
Her best "hope" is seeing that, as you take responsibility for your life, you continue to love and cherish her and at the same time, become necessarily and appropriately assertive about your legitimate needs.
It ain't easy leaving childhood behind...I know, I left my childhood when I was 27.
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The Searcher
Don't argue - let the Scriptures wash the Org's effluent out of her mind!
Spirituality is not gained by being part of a group or a multitude, nor is it acquired acquired by following someone else's changeable reasonings.
(Romans 2:6) And he will render to each one according to his works:
(Romans 14:12) So, then, each of us will render an account for himself to God.
(2 Corinthians 5:10) For we must all be made manifest before the judgment seat of the Christ, that each one may get his award for the things done through the body, according to the things he has practiced, whether it is good or vile.
(Revelation 22:12) "‘Look! I am coming quickly, and the reward I give is with me, to render to each one as his work is.
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punkofnice
she said she doesn't respect me anymore spiritually
What a bizarre statement when you analyse it.
The word 'spiritually' is an example in my opinion, of 'loaded language' used by the WBT$ to control the mind.
In reality the statement is void as it is meaningless.
You sir, are under cult control via your missus who is a victim too.
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Rattigan350
What does spirituality mean?
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flipper
GOINGTHRUTHEMOTIONS- Wow, I'll second Oubliette's comment, " did you marry my ex-wife " ? LOL. Most all of the JW females have been trained in a patriarchal closed society in which MEN ARE considered the alleged " spiritual head ". So when I stepped down as a MS back in the mid 1980's my then JW wife told me the same thing , " you are my spiritual head , you aren't taking the lead properly " ! The WT Society does NOT put any value on females in the organization. It's like WT leaders want women to sit there quietly with duct tape over their mouths so they won't have to listen to their opinions. Which is disgusting.
So your wife and my ex-wife ( divorced in 1998 ) were TRAINED and CONDITIONED to look to their husbands as an alleged " spiritual " head. And you are correct- the WT Society's definition of what they consider " spiritual " has NOTHING to do with Christianity or showing " Christian " qualities. If a man gets a position of elder or MS it's considered " spiritual ". If a man comments regularly, goes out in field service regularly, and gives talks in the Ministry school it's considered " spiritual ". Only PERFORMING outward WT Society functions is any JW considered " spiritual ". Being kind or showing compassion, mercy, love, milness, self control - that doesn't count for being considered " spiritual ". Only performing WT functions is considered " Spiritual ". Because I wasn't " performing " WT functions my JW ex-wife considered me " unspiritual ".
So that's the dillemma you are facing. As you already know your wife is mind controlled to look at " spirituality " in a totally screwed up, messsed up fashion. So my advice would be to not beat your head on a brick wall trying to debate it or argue with her. You both will just be frustrated. Put your energies towards something you CAN control and that is by getting your wife involved in non-JW activities you both might have common interests in. Like going on walks, bike rides, going out to eat, the movies, a hike in the country, go shopping together at the mall, or just an out of town getaway. The idea of this is to get your wife away from thinking about the JW mentality that comes streaming over the platform like mind bending propaganda. You need to help her stay busy AWAY from where she hears that mind bending propaganda. Keep her busy with REAL interests away from the fake JW world.
It's an area that you CAN have an effect on by showing her a good time away from the cult programming . Don't frustrate yourself with what you CANNOT control- take proactive measures on what you CAN control. Just my 2 cents here. And stop the debating and arguing- it will just stress the both of you out. Good luck to you, if you ever wanna talk PM me I'm a phone call away for support and friendship, O.K. ? Peace out bud, hang in there, Mr. Flipper
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3rdgen
Flipper nailed it. A brainwashed wife is proud when her husband attends, comments, holds a position etc. and she is respected by the rest of the cong more than a sister who comes alone. Even her social life is affected. Pretty soon invitations to dinner will dry up. Where is her niche? She's not part of a JW couple anymore but she isn't single either. Now she has the lowest possible statis in the cong. A real letdown. Also, the moral support of being driven to the meetings by your husband and having him help with the kids makes meetings much easier. If your wife sees another sister at the meeting whose husband has his arm around her shoulder she will feel like crying. Lets face it- MEETINGS SUCK they are much better when you have your mate.
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3rdgen
Something else, if you both were JW's when you married, the wedding talk will have emphasised the 3fold cord. That your marriage itself must "have Jehovah in it" to succeed. Of course, having Jehovah in your marriage to her means you are "taking the lead" in all the activities JW. She is bombarded with these ideas. These ideas destroy families.
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Odrade
I love the things 3rdgen is saying here. My take is this: if you are still "exercising headship" in your home, then your wife has a bit of a point in accusing you of not being a good spiritual lead. If you really want to deal with this in a softer way, that will benefit your whole family, try working to create equality and a true partnership throughout your relationship.
If you both are on equal footing as people, then she will likely be less concerned about your actions regarding HER spirituality. Also, recognize that she may be struggling very hard to get you to change back to the way it was, because she is already familiar with that script. She has been led to believe that it is the "right" script.
I remember when I started telling people "he is not my 'head', he is my partner," some of the looks I got were like I just shot somebody in the street. heh. -
Separation of Powers
Well, according to the ORG...you are the spiritual "head" of the family, unless of course the ORG says something that conflicts with your headship, then everything you say is just drivel.