I need some input: I have come to the conclusion my wife blames me for her lack of spirituality (page 2)

piztjw

I would ask her if she believes every word in the Bible? If she says yes, then ask her to read Galations 6: 5. Then ask what part of that indicates that you, or anyone else for that matter, are responsible for her spiritual health.

goingthruthemotions

thanks all for the good advice....when i read the comments it is wonderful to know that i am not on this new road alone.

the way i look at it is. we came to this life alone and leave alone....what happens in between is what defines our existance.

Shalom and love for all!!!!

GTTM

hoser

It's all about status. the wife of a good friend of mine was blaming him for her not being happy. It was his fault she wasn't happy because he wasn't an elder or ministerial servant. her dad, brother and brother in law were all elders but her husband wasn't so it made her unhappy. So he left her and told her to find an elder in the congregation to marry her and make her happy.

OUTLAW

well anyways she made a comment yesterday that it is because of me that she is not spiritual

...............As Long As Your Taking The Blame...........You May As Well Accept Responsibility..

..........................For Her Spirituality....................................For Globel Warming Too!..

........................................

............................................................................................................................................... ...OUTLAW

goingthruthemotions

LOL OutLaw.....I do that too. I drive big gas hog vehicles.

GTTM

justme67

Does she know that your not down with the org anymore. If not, then maybe she can sense somethings not right. When i was still in and my 20 yr. Old son was fading, he wouldnt talk to me about it but i saw it and it messed me up where i missed meetings and field service for it. If she does know how you feel and you want to still be with her, talk with her, respectfully, and try to make things right. Dont bash her on these sites, many of us were brainwashed at one time by this.

3rdgen

When my 1st husband drifted farther and farther away from "the truth" I am ashamed to admit I acted like your wife. Remember the WBT$ is constantly bombarding the flock with the idea they are never doing enough and that the family head is responsible "to provide for the family" spiritally even before materally. This is where the idea originates. Since a female JW is taught she must be "in subjection to her husband in EVERTHING" I figured he was required to be "taking the lead" in ALL forms of JW worship. Remember too, that when she attends the meetings and FS she is PESTERED with the question: "Where is your hubby?" Mates are constantly put on the defensive when their spouse misses. I became tired of making up acceptable excuses for his absence. Afterwhile I resented my ex for putting me in that position. I started to think I never would have married him if he weren't a JW what else do we have in common? Now that you know WHY she is frustrated. You must now emphasise what, besides religion, draws you to each other and make that your focus. Help your wife come up with a funny answer to tell the busybodies at the KH who ask why you aren't at the meeting like: He dosn't like you anymore LOL" or "He has ebola LOL" Best of luck.

OneEyedJoe

However it goes, please share the progress/results...I can feel my wife getting to where yours is and I'll take every bit of real-world experience that I can get so I can be prepared.

Wishing you all the best!

Oubliette

she made a comment yesterday that it is because of me that she is not spiritual

Well I guess it's easier to blame someone else rather than take responsibility for herself. You just happen to be her scapegoat.

Did you marry my ex-wife?

3rdgen

OUB, LOL! Something else that is likely going through your wife's mind adding to her frustration is: Since Armageddon could come at any time, and since their father is being disobedient to Jehovah's channel, and since children who are not baptized can only be spared destruction by the merits of the BELIEVING/ACTIVE JW, Their survival now falls 100% on me. (At least that is what was taught when I was in.) So this belief forced me even deeper into the cult as I felt being a JW was like getting my children on the ark. It also made me mad at my hubby for dumping his half of the responsibility on me. Unless she realizes that God did not pick J Rutherford to be the modern day FDS in 1919, or that works = salvation there will be frustration. A question that helped me to wake up was simply "What year was it (JW's) the truth?"

I need some input: I have come to the conclusion my wife blames me for her lack of spirituality

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