Maybe he's still not ready?

Nosferatu

So I tracked down my old PO who was booted out of the cult 3 years ago. He used to basically just say hello and just walk away. I sent him a message on FB saying I hope he's well, complimented him on how good he looked, and I sent him a friend request. He didn't accept it, gave me a very brief description of what happened, said he thinks of my mom often, and told me to take care.

He still seems quite cold and heartless toward me.

I really would like to befriend him now that we're both out, but I'm really not sure what to think of him.

designs

It can take a few years to get the fog out of your head after leaving.

jookbeard

strange one, maybe he's working on coming back or just wants complete closure?

new hope and happiness

Maybe its the other way around...anyway we are not magiicians and old friends are often a lucky dip.

Nosferatu

He grew his hair longer and a goatee. His wife passed away those 3 years ago, spent 2 trying to come back (without success) and got remarried.

Apognophos

Were you friendly with him in the old days? Sometimes ex-JWs just want to move on. Is it possible that he's given up on reinstatement but still thinks it's the truth? There's lots of possible explanations.

AlwaysBusy

It sounds as if he's been through alot. Maybe he just wants to move on from the JWs, in or out. Maybe he has PTSD and can't cope with people yet...it takes awhile to become healthy again. Or he may not want any reminders, too painful. I'm sure it's got nothing to do with you as a person, but it's probably him trying to overcome his previous life. Take Care.

LogCon

" He used to basically just say hello and just walk away ".

He did exactly what he always did to you in the past. He said hello and walked away, but this time on Facebook. Why would you think that he had changed? He is what he is. Don't reach out to people who have treated you as 'of little value'. It's takes too much energy and life is too short.

Nosferatu

I kinda want to respond, but I feel like I'm still getting flushed down the worldly toilet. For the record, I was never close to him or anything. I tried being friends with his son back in the KH, but that wasn't welcomed either. I was genuinely concerned for this guy with how awful he was being treated for his repentance.

I don't know if I'm pissed off at him or feel sorry for him. He thinks about my mom? I can't help but wonder what kind of awful things she told him about me. I was marked as "bad association" and nobody wanted their kids hanging around me.

I never did anything to this guy. I was usually just quiet and kept to myself at the hall. I knew better than to open my mouth because i'd get judged. Perhaps I'm still being judged.

NAVYTOWN

Why are you spending even a second trying to figure out that jerk's motivations? He made it clear that he wants nothing to do with you. Don't go licking his boots now, trying to make him 'like' you. Move on and meet new people who have no connection to that idiotic religion. Don't keep trying to dig up the past.

Maybe he's still not ready?

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