Ok so... when I was talking to my MIL about why I no longer wanted to be a witness she kept trying to convience me that I needed to speak to the elders. I said from the word go I didn't feel the need to as my mind was already made up and no one could change it. I also said if the elders knew all my reasons for leaving they would view me as an apostate and I would get disfellowshipped. Her reaction to this was that I was very judgmental and of course they wouldn't think that at all! I however feel differently after having been shown some experience's by my husband of similar situations.
I went to see my dad who has been "re-activated" the past few years after several years of just not going. I told him the same thing and he thought I was being silly and they would never do that.
Lately the elders have been umm... "very caring" and we are being a bit love bombed by everyone. However still haven't spoken to anyone about what's actually going on and really have no plans too, as I said before nothing can change our minds now we know what we know. Which is something I think people fail to understand, it's like my brain has been totally rewired and I don't think I could go back even if I wanted to.
Now the thing is an elder just happened to "pop" round yesterday (also he phoned in the week such love) anyway I just let my husband deal with it as I was the one who had to deal with the phone call. On both occasion's he spoke about coming round and doing a shepherding call (we only had one 3 months ago and pretended everything was fine). As it stands I see no reason to talk to them and we will decline their offer.
However I in a sick way am interested in knowing what would happen if I did tell them exactly how I felt. Also if they did disfellowship me/us I wonder how that would affect my MIL and dad especially as they are adamant it wouldn't happen. Maybe it would show them that things aren't how they seem in the org or maybe it would just do nothing and they would just go along with it all and shun us (though I'm 99% sure my dad wont and I know that MIL was chatting with her friends disfellowshiped sons when she went to visit the family).