Curious..What advice will you receive, religious marriage counsel vs certified marriage counsel ?

by jam 13 Replies latest social current

• 

  jam

  For example, abusiveness in the relationship. Probably most of

  us here were counsel by someone affiliated with some religion

  organization, a minister..Most likely you were told, to pray on it..

  But if the husband is beating the living day-light out of his wife,

  well what's the point in praying. So in other words, God see you

  with a black eye and the crap being beating out of you, so why should

  I go to him..

  What do you think a cerified marriage counsel will tell you, go to

  the police, or smack him in the bed when he is sleep with a frying pan?

  I have never been too a certified(non-religious) marriage

  counsel. How many marriages may have been saved by following

  their advice or ended sooner????
• 

  jam

  One other question: How does one become a marriage counsel?

  What training is required, a degree in social science???

  Maybe that's why divorces are sky rocketing, because so

  many have prayed on it. LOL

  I'm sure certified counselors have data, facts and will be honest.

  You folks need to walk away from each other, or you my man or woman

  is being a jerk..
• 

  stuckinarut2

  You dont need a marriage counselor...just pray and listen to the local elders and the GB.

  Everything will be magically solved...

  Sorry, I didnt mean to trivialise things...it is just that I have heard those exact expressions given to many over the years in the org....
• 

  jam

  stuckinaru2: You are so right, "everything will be magically solved".

  My poor sister , years of abuse until the day she died....By a JW elder....
• 

  MadGiant

  Certified Marriage Counsel

  Couples should ask about the provider's overall qualifications, licensed marriage therapist and clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.

  Ismael
• 

  Aunt Fancy

  A therapist with a degree in psycology will never tell you to stay with an abuse mate nore will they tell you to hit them with a frying pan. They will help you get stronger so you can make a wise decision and if he is abusive they will encourage you to find a safe place or even help you find a shelter.

  When I was a JW I would never have trusted an elder with any type of marriage therapy. We went to a therapist because I was so depressed and my husband wanted to make sure we got the help we needed and what it did for us changed our life for the better. It helped me to get much stronger and I was able to say what I thought of the religion and we both left together with a strong marriage of 32 years intact.

  There are many great therapists out there but it is like anything else, sometimes you have to check out a few before you find someone who is willing to do the work with you.
• 

  jam

  Thanks MadGiant. I don't need one but just curious..
• 

  MadGiant

  "How many marriages may have been saved by following their advice or ended sooner????" -

  A 2005 Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology study found that five years after receiving eight months of therapy, half of couples said their relationships had improved. A quarter were divorced, and the remaining 25% were still having problems.

  Ismael
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  jam

  Aunt Fancy:That was great, your husband a wise man.

  32 years and still intact, good for you and husband....
• 

  stuckinarut2

  sorry jam....

  I didnt mean to make light of your sister's experiences...