Go to your assigned hall even if you have to raise hell with your boss to get the right night off.
Stop preaching to that bilenguil woman and hand over your one and only study to the Spanish speaking KH.
Underline 90% of the words in your Watchtower and circle the cited scriptures in a different color marker.
Turn up the thermostat by one more degree to make sure it's too warm in the KH.
Invite people you never hang out with to go out in field service with you "sometime".
If at all possible, avoid going out in service with people you don't usually hang out with and never ever make definitive plans with them.
Get all the good gossip while out in FS with one of the elders wives.
Tell all the gossip you heard, with some exagerations, to everyone you know.
If you're out in FS and you stop at Star Bucks for less than 15 minutes . . . wait at least another fifteen minutes before leaving.
Drive to your return visits in the longest possible route. NEVER - EVER go to return visits that are near by. Always go to the ones that are furthest away first.
If you go to a door and it seems like someone might actually be home - don't ring the door bell and knock as quitely as you can.
If someone is mowing their lawn - they are clearly too busy to hear your life saving news.
If someone is doing something in their garage - they are clearly too busy to hear your life saving news.
If someone is just getting home or just leaving - pretend like you don't see them.
If someone asks you a question about the Bible you should say "that's a really good question" and say you will do some research and get back to them.
Don't EVER get back to them.
Invite over members of the congregation for dinner (but only families whith dads that are elders).
Its okay to swear in front of an elder since they'll probably just laugh it off.
Don't ever swear in front of a MS - they'll rat you out to the elders who will then feel obligated like they have to do something.