Founder of Religion Resigns
Thu May 23, 3:49 PM ET
BROOKLYN HEIGHTS, NY (AP) - Founder, former Archangel and Chief Evangalist resigned from the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society on Thursday.
Jesus H. Christ, formerly known as Michael the Archangel was quoted during a telephone interview that "he just wasn't recognized as the worlds savior anymore". He went on to site several instances in the Watchtower Society's publications where personal stories of longtime faithful members never acknowledged him and his contributions in their faith.
"I think it's just time for me to move on", stated a rather upbeat Christ. "I'm looking at a couple different offers but I think that I'm going to spend a little more time with my family first."
Insiders mentioned several possiblities for the Son of God's future citing The Church of Laterday Saints and the Church of Scientology. Neither would comment on the rumors, although both would gain credibility with the addition of Christ.
Cardinal Herve de Francesco stated that the Catholic Church would welcome the displaced Savior back with open arms stating that His return could help settle the current abuse crisis in the church.
Watchtower spokesman J.R. Brown could not be reached for comment.
Slipnslidemaster:"Your feeble skills are no match for the power of the darkside."
-Emperor Palpatine
Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America