Most absurd thing mentioned at District Convention, excuse me, Regional Convention

by Separation of Powers 13 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Separation of Powers
    Separation of Powers

    So, the round of "regional" conventions has been going on for a few months now. For those that attended, or those that got transcripts of the parts,

    What was the most absurd thing you heard at yours?

    I got to say, I heard every talk, give or take 3 or 4, ok maybe 5. But, the absolutely most absurd thing I heard has got to be the rehashing of the Overlapping Generation. Yes, we are all aware of it. But, we only read it in print. To hear a BIG WIG describe the absurdity of the belief and then hear the applause after his explanation was Orwellian to say the least.

    I just folded my arms and rolled my eyes.


  • OneEyedJoe

    The overlapping generation is definitely the most absurd doctrine that they currently have on the books (at least the most absurd relative to its importance)

    The entire 10 minute talk, along with a demonstration of a bunch of women talking about it, that they did on the admittedly pure conjecture that we'd all speak hebrew in the NS was pretty absurd too.

    The demonstration/video (I was watching the monitors and cant remember if it was live or not) where a bunch of kids talked about the beach resort home that they'd definitely have in the NS (justified by scripture saying that god will satisfy all desires, and he desires a beach home) might have taken the cake for me.

    The statement that they don't tickle their members ears with concerts etc in order to attract/retain members was pretty absurd since it was about an hour before a live action drama (and one that was advertized in the invitation, presumably to attract/retain members) that everyone always scrambles to their seats to see, since it's the most entertaining part of the 3 days of hell.

    Really, i think it would be easier to discuss the parts that weren't absurd.

  • daringhart13

    Oh my god....reading these first two posts......did they really do that??? That was from the stage???

    It will never stop amazing me that those actually listening believe this crap

  • OneEyedJoe

    Yep, 100% of what I said was delivered from the stage. I didn't even have to embellish anything (though I did boil it down a bit) to make it more absurd was pretty much presented as I said it, just with a bunch of fluff inserted everywhere so that it came at you a little slower. The bit with the kids talking about TNS, though, they didn't even try to soften the blow. This is pretty much verbatim how it went:

    Kid 1: I want to have a house on the beach where I can go surfing every day!

    Kid 2: I want to have a house in the mountains!

    Kid 3 (aka voice of reason): Yeah but how do you know we'll be able to live where we want? Maybe we'll be assigned where to live. (when I heard that, I thought "wow, only a JW would think a perfect eternal life in paradise would include assigned housing")

    Kid 2: Well the scriptures do say that Jehovah will satisfy the desires of every living thing, don't they? Well I desire a house in the mountains!

    My next thought was, what about women who desire another kid in a couple thousand years when the earth's population is absolutely maxxed out? Guess they're out of luck. Good thing you got your house in the mountains early.

  • John_Mann

    Greedy frustrated people... I thought christians were supposed to want to reach God not beach houses...

  • DesirousOfChange

    They never stop and think about who the hell gets stuck with a shitty place in central Kansas or Oklahoma??

    No beach.

    No mountains.

    And an outhouse.

    Oh, I forgot. With God, ALL things are possible.


  • villagegirl

    John-Mann - Actually John - if those kids were being taught how to

    actually PLAN their own future as young people, a beach house is a

    perfectly reasonable goal for them. The trouble is every ambition and goal

    is deferred, thwarted, put off beyond their own lifetime. While normal children

    with responsible parents are shown how to succeed and achieve success and

    develop themselves, get a real career and be a productive citizen and a useful

    person in their community. Thats the people living in those big houses, JW's

    only get to see as they go door to door. People DO live on the beach.

    Those people have university educations, and understand financial management

    and are actual, real, productive; executives, doctors, dentists, engineers, teachers,

    business people, artists, entrepreneurs, and a thousand other types of people living

    in reality and not "waiting" for the end of the world, to begin their life.

  • Magwitch


    Are you kidding me??????? Control, control, control. That statment above is so ugly it makes my stomach actually ache.

  • steve2

    Well said villagegirl. Jw's will always be impossible dreamers who lack the motivation and/or wherewithal to attain those sorts of goals in this there one shot at life. Their lifestyle of wishin' and hopin' is truly pathetic.

  • OneEyedJoe

    Oh yeah, just remembered another gem delivered from the platform. Below is the exact quote, verbatim, with my additions to add context in brackets. My jaw about fell off when I heard this one, because I know it to be patently false.

    "[The false doctrine and hypocrisy of] Christendom is the leading cause of atheism"

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