YES, you CAN shag your friends maid!!! It's all good !!

by DATA-DOG 15 Replies latest watchtower beliefs


    20 “If a man lies carnally with a woman who is a slave, betrothed to another man and not yet ransomed or given her freedom, an inquiry shall be held. They shall not be put to death, because she was not free; 21 but he shall bring a guilt offering for himself to the Lord , to the door of the tent of meeting, a ram for a guilt offering. 22 And the priest shall make atonement for him with the ram of the guilt offering before the Lord for his sin which he has committed; and the sin which he has committed shall be forgiven him.

    LEVITICUS 19:20-22

    HOLLA!! This is AWESOME!! According to YHWH, you can bang your neighbor'a slave girl! The RNWT says "servant", but I like slave, it's so naughty.. Anyway, you could do the horizontal bop/no pants dance with a slave girl, provided she wasn't emancipated. Sure there is some undisclosed "punishment", but you would'nt be killed. Wait a minute.......

    Hold up!! Is there any book in the bible that is more anal ( pun intended ) than Leviticus?!?! Pages and pages of ENDLESS rules about who will be put to death for this and that. Even eating BBQ in the wrong way would get you killed!! For frak's sake, what is going on here in YHWH's inspired word?? Where are the minute details regarding banging a devious maid?? I mean, sheesh, you can't even plant a freaking tree or take a sh** without a litany of do's and don'ts, worrying for your life the whole time!! Now, inexplicably it seems, we can do the hibbidy-dibbity with a slave girl and not die!! Also, there is no revealed punishment!!

    How totally out of character with the rest of the rules in Leviticus. EVIDENTLY, this was a great time to be a man. You could simply shag all the maids you wanted, provided they were never given their freedom! WOW, and I thought GOR would be a great place to live! It sounds like ancient Israel was a swinging joint! Well, gotta go! I have a beard to grow and a time machine to build! Why am I wasting my life in a sexually repressed cult, when I can travel back to ancient Israel and have pretty maids, all in a row...if you know what I mean.. Yeah, baby!!!!


  • Comatose

    I get where you are coming from and I know you are being sarcastic. But, I'll say this anyways without meaning to spoil the sarcasm and joke. How utterly stupid and wrong of god and the jack asses who wrote this. As a woman to be raped and then have some guy just offer a ram sacrifice... Disgusting. Horrible.

  • SuperBoy

    Do you know how expensive rams are?


    Your are right. It's disgusting and horrible. That's why I posted it. The cult of YHWH is still disgusting and horrible.


    I don't know what a ram would cost. I figure that I could just grab a bunch from a field and throw them in the time machine. One thing to consider is that it would only cost a ram, IF YOU GET CAUGHT. It's not like you have to pay one ram for a private dance. Now THAT would get pricey.


  • stuckinarut2

    Yes, but the org / gb just love drawing "comparisons" and "principles" from the ancient Isrealites etc....only when it suits them...but what about all the other garbage....

    yes, they then just skip over it and say "it was written for a different time"

  • stillin

    The game is rigged. The slave girl's life is ruined. Her fiancé gets "damaged goods." And the priests get to feast on a nice Barbeque!

  • berrygerry

    So, Arnold should have sacrificed a Dodge Ram instead of a Hummer.

    (This should have been shared with him at the time)

  • FatFreek 2005
    FatFreek 2005

    Since Jah doesn't tolerate it today he went thru a learning curve.

  • Iown Mylife
    Iown Mylife

    LOL! hibbity-dibbity!!!

    Big laugh with my first cuppa cawffee - that was funnee!


  • berrygerry

    This would "evidently" be applied to nannies also.

    But, as for maids, what about temporary maid service -is that really included or would that be a conscience matter?

    Same question for clubs with French Maids and regular bars with barmaids?

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