JWs and their views on Sex

by campaign of hate 55 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • opusdei1972

    The early apocalyptic thought that Jesus would come soon, created in most of early christians, a sense of urgency, the same as Jehovah's Witnesses. This is why celibacy was encouraged by Paul.

    The source of the problem can be found in the Bible itself. Of course, the Watchtower Society has its own stupid policies.

  • opusdei1972
    I know of an elder that prays before having sex with his wife. That is what he told his student once when we went to conduct a book study. Always pray, any moment, even before sex.

    Why do we need to pray before sex? .....ok, may be to do the best...
  • flipper

    The intrusion into our sex lives that comes from the time we get into the JW cult until we finally exit the cult is absolutely ridiculous. When I was a 13 year old teenager my then elder dad sat me down with another " fatherless boy " in the congregation sharing the stupid WT article in 1973 titled, " Breaking Free from Self Abuse " . It was like I said to myself in my own thoughts, " hell yes I masturbate and it feels good ! What the hell is so " abusive " about it " ? I mean this wasn't the freaking 1800' s where people still felt you go " blind " if you masturbate - right ? But the archaic attitudes and stuffy , prudish WT Society views drove me crazy.

    Like many other born-in JW's I married quite young to my JW ex-wife at age 19, she was barely 18 years old. Jeez, I barely shaved for Christ sakes. But the reason we married young was because we dated for almost 3 years and we were busting at the seams wanting to have sex - so in JW land it IS the compelling reason that teenage marriages happen. You'll get DFed if you experiment first before marriage- so a lot of young JW marriages happen for all the wrong reasons. Then you get told that the " threefold cord " is there- Jehovah the perv is sitting up on your bedpost making sure that you and your wife don't orally please each other otherwise you'll be considered " unclean " . Remember how back in Leviticus in the Bible they even sent women away to go wash and be considered " unclean " during their monthly cycle ? I mean- anything regarding sex between men and women is considered " dirty " or " unclean ". It's so weird.

    So fast forward to right before my JW wife and I broke up. After 19 years of marriage we experimented with the joys of oral gratification of giving to each other, me more to her . She willingly participated . Then she felt guilty about it and without telling me - called the elders to come " talk " to us about it . Then she proceeded to call my good JW buddies from my past telling them that I made her feel " dirty " like I had molested her . But it was mutual- she was a willing participant - yet she lied and said I forced it on her. The elders told her that she needed to go to a counselor as she HAD been molested by her JW uncles as a young teenager. She looked the elders in the eyes with a hateful look and said, " I don't NEED professional counseling ! It's my stepmom or my husband who need counseling ! I'm fine. " With a crazed look in her eyes. Fortunately we divorced within a year and at the age of 40 I was able to resume a normal sex life again AFTER leaving the JW organization.

    I will never, ever allow an organization to dictate my sex life again. It literally destroyed my first marriage with the WT Society's intrusive, " dirty " views of sex. Sex is a beautiful thing between people who care for one another. It's natural, doesn't have to be complicated. I swear to God- I could write a book with how this organization abused me and thousands of others. No more

  • DJS

    Flipper: "I will never, ever allow an organization to dictate my sex life again. It literally destroyed my first marriage with the WT Society's intrusive, " dirty " views of sex. Sex is a beautiful thing between people who care for one another."

    I would agree. It can also be pretty damned incredible with people you don't particularly like, that you will never (or hope to never) see again, in groups, with two or more girls, with restraining devices included, and by ones-self. I could go on, but there are children reading.

  • opusdei1972
    Flipper: More than one decade ago, I suffered an embarrassing situation before the elders when they asked me about the details of my private sexual relations with my worldy girlfriend. I was stupid in that time, because I thought they were representing God, so I had to answer their morbid questions. Now I no longer believe neither in the Society, nor in Jehovah.
  • Brock Talon
    Brock Talon


    Thanks for your post. Even though I shouldn't be by now, I'm still shocked and amazed that this religion can get into marriages like that. Your story proves this was not all made up in my mind or exaggerated as some have tried to imply when I tell my own story. Apologists want to minimize or hedge just how intrusive this particular religion is with regards to sex, which to my mind is way more intrusive than the "average" religion is.

    How many religions will actually excommunicate their people for having oral sex with their spouse?

    How many religions will actually remove their people from various "privileges" and "good standing" for engaging in masturbation?

    Do the Amish do that? Do the Scientologists do that? How about the Bahai faith? Mormons? I don't think so.

    This is on top of all the other "regular" prohibitions on sex that most religions practice (due to Biblical principles that are themselves taken to extremes) the Watch Tower and the JWs take it to new heights.

    For those that don't think this still exists in their JW congregations, I say this: Ask your elders. Better yet, go tell them you like to 69 with your spouse every weekend and masturbate when you are alone on business trips and see where that gets you.

  • stuckinarut2

    The problem is, that sex and sexual feelings are presented in such a "hush hush" almost taboo way for all children growing up in the organisation.

    Therefore, GUILT becomes an integrally linked feeling associated with all things sexual.

    So every future sexual aspect of life becomes tainted as guilt inducing!

  • stuckinarut2

    AND you CAN'T openly discuss sex or sexual matters with a 'prospective' marriage mate, because this would be viewed as an inappropriate topic of discussion!

    It is a Lose/Lose situation!

  • Island Man
    Island Man
    steve2: As a Witness, I began dating a very marriageable man . . .
    My sensitively-inclined boyfriend . . . I was stunned, as was my husband. . .

    steve2, you're a woman?! And all this time I was thinking you're a man! lol

  • konceptual99

    Hi Brock,

    Just to apologise if I came across as generally dismissive regarding the impact of WT teachings on sex, that was not my intent.

    I am well aware that during the late 60 and 70s particularly there was much more direct "counsel" published, as per your citations. I know from my childhood that the interference and intervention into the private lives of married couples was far more intrusive and clearly affected many.

    It is also true to say that the WTS has not completely retracted or changed teachings on many things published in those days so they still stand. For example, as far as I know, despite some words around the elders not being bedroom police, they have not retracted their view that oral sex is not appropriate as it's a practice common to homosexuals.

    I am in my 40s and had conversations with peers about oral sex in the 90s. The overriding opinion was that the WTS literature did essentially ban it but if you did it consensually then who was going to know or really care.

    I am sure that the behaviour of young ones in the late 80s and 90s dating was not that far off what was going on in earlier decades with people getting into "heavy petting" etc. without too much conscience. I know ones that would sleep with their BF/GF.

    As I qualified, my experience of married ones over the past 20 years is that no one discusses WTS policies when it comes to what goes on in the bedroom and does what they want pretty much. I am not dismissing the problems that still may occur in a marriage and I am sure there are some who are affected by feelings of guilt over what is completely normal behaviour. I am convinced however, that the vast majority of problems in marriages I have seen over the time myself and my peers have been married are predominately down to the wider circumstances around simply being hitched to the wrong person. If the sex is bad then this will be part of the cycle that contributes to the deterioration of the relationship.

    I count myself fortunate to have been getting married at a time when the impact of the WTS policing the sexual conduct of couples was declining. I can see from your posts and others, such as Flipper, how much the WTS affected the day to day lives of couples just a few years earlier and how much their ridiculous assertions would affect the mental state of single persons and couples engaging in completely normal, natural behaviour.

Share this