need advice

by search4truth 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • search4truth

    Hi all. I'm trying to fade away from the jw religion fully aware of ttatt . My wife is still under mind control of this cult and teenager 14 years old attending most of the meetings an some ministry arrangements but is not interested and going just to please mum. I actively educate my son about about other cults and their practices and he knows I don't believe that Wt has anything to do with god. The thing is that I'm not sure if I should tell him that we are in the cult and we can't talk about this with his mum because she is under mind control and she simply wouldn't understand. Idea is we can work together and eventually free my wife from the bond of Wt . I'm not sure how much is the average teenager able to comprehend problem like this. If anyone has experience with this please share. Thanks.

  • Vanderhoven7

    I don't see the advantage of doing this. Your son already knows your thoughts. If your wife realizes you are directly "poisoning" your son's mind (with the truth), you may end up with a shattered family or no family to speak of. Little (very little, few and far between) hints here and there in the form of thought engendering questions directed toward your wife in his presence would probably be enough.

  • Giordano

    I think he should not be told that his mother is under mind control but that you respect her need to believe and hope over time she will see that the JW's do not have the truth.

    If your Child has a sense of humor the best way to undermind the Society is with gentle humor as well as quoting their own words. Here is a copy of a post I made recently that is very telling about how foolish the founders of the Society have been.

    " Each statement comes from an official publication of the WTBTS. While this material goes back many years so do JW’s beliefs that were and still are promoted as the ‘truth’.

    A more up to date account of JW science and medicine........ can be found on

    The science of the Watchtower plus an occasional face palm I couldn’t resist.

    “Color and Physiognomy..........A blue nose..... is a symbol of austerity, with perhaps a prudish tinge.....The size of the nose, as also the size of the eyes, is not without significance. The small-nosed man cannot have a judicial mind, whatever his other excellencies may be. And a man whose nose upturns can no more be expected to administer justice than a pug dog can be expected to act as a shepherd.”

    Golden Age Jan 19 1921 pg. 224

    “Vaccination never prevented anything and never will and is the most barbarous practice......We are in the last days; and the devil is slowly losing his hold.........Use your rights as American citizens to forever abolish the devilish practice of vaccination (which) has never prevented smallpox any more then serum injection has prevented typhoid.........” Golden-Age Oct 12 1921

    “.................nearly all sickness and disease and physical and mental imperfection, are due to a failure of the body’s ‘mills and factories’ to manufacture standard projects (???).........remain independent of doctors who employ drugs, medications, vaccines, serums and surgical operations for diseased conditions” Golden-Age Jul 5 1922

    “But the dog-rabies-vaccine imposition is the latest! When it has been shown conclusively that there is no such thing as rabies! ..............Vaccinations summed up is the most unhygienic, barbaric, filthy, abhorrent and most dangerous system known. It’s vile poison taints, corrupts and pollutes the blood of the healthy resulting in ulcers, syphilis......tuberculosis, cancer, tetanus, insanity and death”

    Golden-Age Jan 1 1923

    “It has never been proven that a single disease is due to germs.” Golden-Age Jan 16 1924

    (This was a dozen years after medicine had proven bacteria and viruses caused most diseases)

    (Speaking about the resurrection after 1925 when there would be the start of the new world and no death....... the writer suggests the following in TWTP pg 228 on how to recruit decorators to redecorate the homes that would now be available.) “You will have secured the services of the best decorators you can find. Some of them used to be undertakers; but since there are no more people dying, they have to seek some new occupation. Their experience as undertakers prepared them to become decorators with very little difficulty.”

    “Pastor Russell....discussed the mysteries of.......mental telepathy, mind reading and women’s intuition.” Golden-Age Feb 15 1925 pg 332-3

    (After maintaining that there would be ‘no slip ups’ about the importance of 1925 the Society tells those who were greatly disappointed that ) “Some anticipated that the work would end in 1925..................The difficulty was that the friends inflated their imagination beyond reason......”

    WT Aug 1 1926 pg 232

    ..........coolies (Orientals).....cutthroats and murderers...” Golden Age Mar 10 1926

    ‘Flood may have been caused by all of the other planets being on one side of the earth simultaneously. God may have inserted the “youngest” planet Neptune on the other side to act as a gravitational corrective to make sure it cannot happen again!’ Golden-Age Jun 16 1926 pg 583

    “Human footprints seven feet long found in California.” Golden-Age Jane 13 1926

    “Disease (is caused by) fermentation and heat.........not germs. GA Aug 25 1926

    “....current agitation over birth control (is evidence that) the ‘New Age’ is at hand.” GA Apr 7 1926

    “Air baths are good for preventing colds. What you do is strip naked mornings and evenings and then bob up and down for a while.” Golden-Age Feb 1926 pg 310

    Who could ask for better advice!"


  • search4truth

    “Air baths are good for preventing colds. What you do is strip naked mornings and evenings and then bob up and down for a while.” Golden-Age Feb 1926 pg 310 - Haha this really funny , straight from the Fds.

    Thanks for the comments so far.

  • ducatijoe

    I have found it best to do what I feel is best for me. I have left. My family remains. That is their choice. I never try to pursuade them differant.

    I have never been happier. Miss my family though... Still happy

  • jgnat

    Don't pull your son in to this. He is in a dependent situation and is vulnerable. Besides that you will give him sleepless nights worrying if his parents will split up over this. You can tell all when he is an adult.

  • AudeSapere

    Telling your child straight out that his mother is under mind-control or in a cult will undermine her authority and his respect.

    Slow and steady here, is my best suggestion.


  • jwfacts

    Cult and mind control are both accurate descriptions, but can be counter productive and taken with offense. Other terms to use are "high control", "undue influence" and "coercive persuasion."

    Teenagers are perceptive but also vunerable to these types of groups. Rather that discuss the Watchtower being a cult, continue as you have and highlight the techniques that make it one, and how there are manifest in other groups. You will do him a favour not only to leave the Watchtower, but also to learn how to avoid similar groups. Lifton's criteria are the foundation to any discussion, but also a bit difficult to understand, so try to make it more obvious by application to other groups, including religious, corporate and political.

    Multi-level marketing companies are very compelling for young people trying to make easy money, and so similar to the Watchtower structure that would be a great discussion with your son. The sales pitch always includes the following points.

    • Do you want a better future
    • Would you like to remove all your money problems
    • Do you picture yourself with a yacht in a paradise island
    • Do you want to belong to a special family of like minded individuals
    • Wouldn't you love to belong to something that improves the world
    • What we have is the best product of all that are out there
    • You need to make sure you use our product and not others
    • You need to talk to everyone you know about this to build your network

    It is easy to see how these comments apply equally well to a Usana, Amway or any high control religion, and you will hear them at almost every meeting.

    I would keep your wife out of this for now, as you don't want to start a battle between the two of you for your son's allegiance.

  • quellycatface

    You poor things, you and your boy.

    Lots of good advice here.

    Hope things get better for you all.

  • joe134cd

    Honestly I have found the best way of dealing with the dubbies is just to say nothing. You are on a very slippery slope by talking behind your wife's back, as I believe this will just totally undermine your marriage regardless of weather you think it's a load of crap or not. Your son will pick up on it soon enough with out you saying a word. Hey all the best.

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