Advice Needed

by HeyThere 28 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  roberto avon

  although I studied I never was an unbaptized publisher so I after a year of studying nonsenses I told the elder that all these

  things about the gentile times and 1914 were " completely invented " by men and that was it. The elder refused to continue the bible study, I stopped with the teocratic school and became " WORDLY " again. I continued, however, to attend most of the meetings with my wife.

  Nothing special happened, after a few years I didn't gomanymore tomthe meetings, we had three children

  ( normal not jw's ! ) and my wife goes so now and than to the KH ( she is very liberal ).
• 

  NAVYTOWN

  Ditto all the advice above. Just stop mentioning doubts to ANYONE and if anyone asks why you quit studying just respond by saying: 'There are personal reasons that I choose to only discuss with Jehovah'. If they persist in questioning you, simply say: 'When I feel up to further discussion I will let you know'. That should handle things to your satisfaction.
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  bigmac

  why dont you just call it quits completely ?

  whats the worst thing that could happen ?
• 

  Witness My Fury

  You re not baptised. they have no power over you but what you allow them to have.

  Tell your study conductor this is your last study, or that was my last study whichever suits.

  Quit going to meetings and obviously service. No need to fade, just quit.

  Enjoy the rest of your life cult free (apart from the crazyness that comes being married to a witless)...
• 

  Black Sheep

  Ask as many questions as you want, but don't offer your own opinions. Make them do the talking and shut up except to keep them honest and to give them guilt trips if they try bullying, lying, changing the subject, or any other trickery to avoid answering your questions.

  Remember at all times, that you must portray yourself as asking because you want to understand the Truth, not because you are Satan's minion trying to steal their salvation away from them.
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  bigmac

  this is a perfect example of why the cult is against marrying out of the--"truth" ( lies )

  a man in your husbands situation is of little value to the cult. he cant very well be given any "privileges" if he has---what used to be called---an "opposed " wife.

  he still has to provide for you--by the cults rules. and give you your wifely "dues" so really--all he can do is attend meetings. till he goes inactive again. isnt that the result you want ?
• 

  joe134cd

  To be honest I would really discourage anyone from marrying an inactive JW because there is always the possibility that they will return to it - as has has been the case with you. I have read countless cases on here (and also of one in real life which ended in divorce) where returning to the religion caused serious problems. Although at present I know TTATT, and I haven't been to a meeting in over a year. I have for family and financial reasons still got feet in both camps. i find what works best for me is just to say obsolutly nothing to them. I can guarantee that if you openly express you views to anyone this will just isolate you even more. Although not married to a witness the below link is a very good example of someone who raised concerns, who was just a study

  http://jwsurvey.org/cedars-blog/the-unbaptized-apostate-of-salem-massachusetts

  BTW Best of luck and my thoughts are with you.
• 

  The Searcher

  In a nutshell, exactly what many have said - just stop dead and don't give any lengthy reasons, otherwise the Elders will make an example of you. If you rattle their cage, they WILL deal with you!
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  jgnat

  They say, "Loose lips sink ships". What is with your husband broadcasting your doubts all over the place? Is he looking for assistance to lovingly bring you in to the fold? I agree with others that you can extract yourself from all your current commitments. You can appear supportive by attending a meeting once in a whlie but make sure it is random so they don't get their hopes up. Any mistreatment by the congregation can be an excuse for ever longer absences.

  If I were you I would make your husband my research project, using Steve Hassan's materials as a guide. What is your husbands authentic personality? What floats his boat?
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  jgnat

  Consider what you would do if you were married to a man with an obsessive hobby like extreme sporting. You might try and join his madness at first but perhaps your desire to save mortal life and limb overrides everything else. You may take the position, "Sure, honey, go have your fun I won't spoil it, but count me out."