Hi all,
I'm new around here, but I've been browsing the site the last few days in hopes of finding the answer to the situation I've been going through, so hopefully you can help me.
I met this girl in highschool, but never really spoke with her until about a year after I graduated. She's three years younger (however it's legal where I'm from, don't fret) and still a teenager. We spoke for a few months, only a few times did we hangout in person, but when we did it was always secret. She was great for the first few months, until she suddenly started getting hot and cold when I looked to push the relationship forward, it often lead to her needing a few days off (assumed to be because of her age/immaturity), and then we'd talk again. Low an behold, I did some digging into social media and the wonderful word of google to find out that her entire family are JW's. I knew little to nothing about the religion, outside of the knocking on doors part, so I did a bit of research and the way she acted fit right in with the general rules they live by which I found online.
Now, here's the interesting part, I found this out last summer, and she had never mentioned it to me at any point. We chose to go out separate ways soon after, and I began a relationship with someone else which ended this past May, at which point, this JW girl began speaking with me again. She informed me that she was supposedly "with" some other guy at the time but still wanted to talk, because we get along very well and have lots in common. After knowing her secret after about 8 months, I decided it was time to talk to her about it. I'm not religious myself, I'm not for or against any religion, I was brought up with some Christian knowledge but was never baptized. As for religion as a whole, I've pretty much come to the conclusion that at this point in time it's not for me, but rather something I might be interested in at some point in the future. Anywho, I stated very calmly to her that I found out about her religion, and asked what it was all about. She didn't deny it, but explained a little (not so much about beliefs but moreso rules and such) in regards to dating rules and such. She apologized if it was too weird for me to be around, and said she wouldn't be upset if I didn't talk to her because of it. To be honest, the whole concept of it doesn't really bother me too much, it's a personal thing and everyone has the right to it (religion). She told me she couldn't really date anyone outside of the religion until she turned 18, and that her parents would be extremely upset if she went against their word. I also found out that this guy she is supposedly with is also JW, which is why her parents are okay with it. She said for me not to wait for her (she turns 18 in less than a year), because she doesn't know whether she'll want to date someone from the same belief or get together with me. She stated firmly that she wasn't going to attempt to convert me and hasn't made any attempt to do so whatsoever. She seems ashamed of the religion, I know a lot of the people she goes to school with and none of them seem to know anything about her religion.
At the end of the day, I just can't seem to figure her out. She's dealt with the situation fairly maturely, but I still get the impression that she's somewhat living a double life by talking to me. She was baptized last summer, but still doesn't seem too comfortable with the whole thing. It probably doesn't help that her dad is "the coordinator of the body of elders" which may explain the pressure and guilt that she experiences.
So basically what I'm asking is... What do you guys take away from this whole situation? Would a relationship with her be possible without converting to any religion? Not saying I never would, but I mean short term, is it possible. Secondly, is it likely she sticks with the religion or would it be way too difficult to leave because of the position of her father?
Any help or thought is greatly appreciated.