Why Do Certain "Inactive Ones" Get Bothered By The Elders While Others Don't?

by minimus 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • jgnat

    I've had long discussions with a now inactive Witness who has endured a nearly intolerable level of scrutiny. Why? His hall is short of eligible brothers. The elders need someone to assign the crap work to.

    He is convinced it is all power games. If a DF'd brother is begging to be reinstated, they will ignore him and leave him dangling as long as they dare. On the other hand, if they sniff out that the brother doesn't care any more, they are all over him.

    It still blows me away that leadership takes resignations under advisement - as if permission must be granted to quit - and that the assignments keep on rolling in until the brother has the audacity to refuse.

  • minimus

    My ex always says they left us alone because I knew too much and could make their life difficult. I don't know if they would really care about that.


    Who knows. Since I am still serving I can only speak for my body, they only "bother" people when the CO is around since he asks and whenever the Branch wants to make one their "special efforts" to reach out to lost sheep. otherwise they could care less. If you have faded but start becoming vocal, and public about TTATT then the CO would probably instruct the body to seek you out to "offer loving assistance".

  • ambersun

    Hubby and I faded with no questions asked many years ago despite both of us coming from quite prominent families within the borg. My father had been the PO of our congregation at one time! We have both kept very low profiles over the years and never ruffled any feathers so I guess that is why they have left us alone, yet others do the same and get hounded! Makes no sense!!

    I have no doubt in my mind I would be df'd if they asked me how I really feel about "Jehovah's chosen Organisation' lol.

  • ambersun

    Just out of interest, how long after fading can you get df'd? I've been out over 2 decades and I'm getting sick and tired of keeping quiet so I don't offend anyone or cause them to have to shun me, and feel it is more important to start using my acquired knowledge regarding TTATT to try and help my jw family to wake up! I'm willing to take that chance but would like to know where I stand.

  • FadeToBlack

    They don't speak English, and I pretend like I don't speak Polish. I have no family in except my wife, so they have no leverage. I still go when wife gets invited for BBQ (as long as no WT study is involved) and the most I get from friends is the usual: we miss you. Nothing from Elders.

  • designs

    If you are just considered weak then you probably will get a call, but if you are vocal and specific in your dissent with the Wt. then you'll get the big EXIT sign.

  • undercover

    Here's another option: Fear

    May not be true for everyone, and I'm not saying it's my case, but I dare say that some elders are afraid to go toe to toe with some inactive ones, knowing full well that they could not win a battle of wits with them. Or with some it may not necessarily be fear of the individual, but fear of having their beliefs shaken.

    Even as I say it's not my case, there was one MS, who I was friends with, who just kept bugging me about coming back. One day he asked point blank what it was keeping me from meetings, etc. Tired of the harrassment, I just said, 'I can tell you but you won't like it. And if you don't want your world shattered, you'll drop it. But if you really want to know, we'll sit down and I'll tell you everything'. That was one of the last times I talked to him. He is no longer in my life.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    I moved away, so it was "out of sight, out of mind."

    But since my cards are still there, I'm sure those idiots will harass my elderly dad when the subject comes up.

  • problemaddict

    There are three factors, and these three factors can line up two at a time and create different scenarios.

    1) Type of elders - Do you have the ones that won't go visit an old lady but if they see someone have more than one beer they jump in the eldermobile and are out for blood? Or do you have elders that are generally lazy.

    2) Are you inactive and nobody knows Why? Or are you inactive and people know you have "questions".

    3) What was your level of activity? Are you worth going after, or will it embarrass them and the hall?

    Just my opinion of course. My situation is that while very well known, I had one of the uber zealous former CO elders to contend with. He wanted to destroy me, but I had enough friends around to basically be able to be left alone. He still wanted to come at me, but during one exchange, his ignorance was exposed in front of others. In other words.....I put myself ina position where they can't do anything, and its too much work to come after me.

    Basically they would love to, but they don't want any of this. :)

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