shepherding call

DesirousOfChange

You don't say why you are inactive.

If you can control your tongue and not blurt out anything you have learned about TTATT, then perhaps no harm in agreeing to a visit if you feel the need to be polite and cooperative. No doubt, they will inquire as to WHY you are inactive.

Don't you know it's The Truth(TM)?

Don't you know The End(TM) is close?

Don't you know you should follow the direction of the F&DS?

Don't you believe the GB/F&DS is providing food from Jehovah?

Any wrong answer will open a can of worms.

Doc

Separation of Powers

Sorry, can't make it.

Decline the offer. To have both of them visiting your congregation means that you guys are probably the host for an upcoming Circuit Assembly. If you were once an elder, then I would expect that they will guilt bomb you into getting your act together. If you were never serving, then they probably asked the BOA for a list of those would might "benefit" from a shepherding call. If your wife and kid have no issue with your current situation, then I would suggest you tell them you can't make it. You can probably defray any backlash by approaching both of them at the meeting and thanking them personally.

As Doc has mentioned above, if you have issues with the ORG, these type of visits can go haywire real quick.

SOP

keyser soze

i can just agree with everything they say and just continue doing what im doing.. right..?

For a little while, sure. There's only so long you can simply just attend meetings quietly without them strongly "encouraging" you to do more. I know this from personal experience.

new hope and happiness

If you meet with them have a cup of tea, and talk about the weather and "intersting things you do"...they wont be interested. But let them start " yitter yatter, and yatter yitter" your not intersted and its all the power they have " yitter yatter" ummmm say" sorry enjoy the cup of tea, i will be back in five minutes need to water the plants" when you come back, they will try again..so say " its wonderful you came i need dome help with moving some boxes from the loft" ...trust me they are gone...( dont play the gane)

sporece

If you meet with them, you might slip and say something negative about the watchtower and it's doctrines and you're going to screw yourself.

These men are experienced in recognizing someone that might be an "apostate" and things will not go well with you..

Just fade and don't give them a reason to DF you.

Keep in mind you also have a wife and she will listen to these men more than she listens to you, the less you say the better.

Talking from experience .

ABibleStudent

Welcome shlth34d, DITTO what other posters wrote about avoid them if possible, or meet with them if it is convenient and only talk about general topics of interest. If the DO/CO ask you direct questions about what you believe or why don't you do more, how do you feel they would react to you saying, "I'm waiting on Jehovah to guide me." or, if they press you more, "Thank you for your concern. I will contact you whan I'm ready to do more. Please do not contact me or talk with my family without my consent."

Although you are inactive, your family is not. What will you do if the WTBTS issues "New Light" for JW family/friends to pressure inactive JWs to participate more? How strong is your personal relationship with your wife and children?

You should develop a plan to help your family to critically think for themselves and improve their financial security and happiness, so that they will choose to love you more than the WTBTS. Your plan should include some of the following:

Vent on JWN as much as possible so that your family does not feel that you oppose the WTBTS. Also, search the JWN archive to learn how to help your family to critically think for themselves.
Get a better education or more training to improve your family's financial security and enjoyment of life. It is also a good reason to miss meetings and FS.
Learn as much as possible about helping your family to critically think for themselves by reading information by cult-exit counselors, like Steve Hassan. Read Steve Hassan's books ('Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves", and (his latest book) "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones to Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs", visit his website www.freedomofmind.com, and watch his FREE videos on his website. Also, learn how to overcome thought-stopping platitudes that your family uses, like "Where else shall we go?" or "True Christians need an organization to guide them." Also, visit reputable websites like www.jwfacts.com to learn more about the WTBTS history and doctrines.
Ask you wife and kids simple questions to learn more about how they feel and to learn what interests them in the WTBTS as well as what hobbies they might like more than going to WTBTS meetings.

Best of wishes being inactive and having an unconditionally loving relationship with your wife and kids.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

bigmac

sure---meet with them why not.

tell them youre going through a bit of a difficult time----financially.

ask them to lend you some money--to tide you over.

watch what happens.

Captain Obvious

Here's how it will go down. They will pester you until you agree to a visit. You could try and tell them that you'd rather not meet, doing fine thanks but that will raise a small flag. These boys have sniffed out, hunted out and DFed their fair share of apostates. They are experienced and know all of the signs. You could probably fool your local body, but not these cats. At all costs, defer your visit til they're gone.

Other side of the coin: you meet, have a nice family shep visit. They will ask you about your family study schedule. They will ask you how often you pray. Either your answer will be never, or your wife and kid get to sit and watch you LIE to these mens faces. There's no way you can get through a shep visit with them without either giving them too much info, or lying to them. Both are bad outcomes.

In my humble opinion, your best option for the time being is to just take the risk and tell them you're not available until their visit is over. Then when your local elders ask you when would be a good time to pop by, tell them you'd rather not. That should buy you 6 months or so.

NAVYTOWN

Here's what you need to tell them when they ask to meet with you: 'Oh, sorry, I'm having some personal problems that are between me and Jehovah. Thank you for your concern. I will contact you when I feel up to discussing things. Have a nice day.'. That should end the matter. If they persist, just repeat what you already told them. Their only option will be to go away.

Strangelove

You don't, or shouldn't have to do anything you are not comfortable doing.

Granted, if they continue to pester, I don't think one brief visit hurts. Just be cautious. They are damn manipulative.

---

I hope it all transpires to your benefit. ;)

---

If it were me, I'd decline intsantly and politely every single time. I simply don't have the patience for it anymore. Even when I was in, I declinded to have the Circut Overseet on our Bible Study. Too much pressure. Then again, I am not everyone.

shepherding call

Share this