a sense of responsibility

by Ruby456 25 Replies latest social family

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  Ruby456

  nugget

  The problem with autistic conditions is that elders and congregations generally have no training or understanding of it. Since autistic children find field service more difficult and cannot be persuaded to keep quuiet if they are hungry, hot, or cold then they are not contributers and therefore are not valued.

  did the elder also assure you that you would not be judged to be an unfit,mentally diseased witness for not going to the meetings? did they try to educate the parents of the children who ignore and bullied your son?

  I'ms so glad you left when you did.

  The report that was made to the government emphasized the need for policies that strengthened or made provision for strenthgthening the quality of connections that institutions must make to lessen people's isolation and their being in threatening situations and which damage self esteem to the extent that individuals are left unable to participate in society. I see this a lot in exjws - their self esteem is at zero since they have been reduced to valueless objects. And this situation is even worse for those who have a medical condition that needs adustments to allow them to flourish.

  I am filled with hope for the future when I read reports that tell us where government policy has gone wrong and where it has let down people who are very often at the bottom of the pile. We musn't feel that as parents it is we who are to blame because often parents are subject to conditions that leave very little way out. My sense of responsibility and desire to make amends can then translate to what the gov is being urged to do to fulfill their responsibilities and mend/amend things by creating opportunites for people to strenthen the quality of their connections amongst themselves within their own groups (so that the connections are not based on threats and coercion that isolate and devalue for example) and between groups so that groups do not feel threatened by other groups and do not thrive on prejudice against one another while respecting each other's peculiarities even when they do not understand them/find them difficult.
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  nugget

  There was no reassurance that my son would not be judged adversely for not attending the meetings. Nor any idea that I could work for the salvation of my son. Other witnesses have suggested I attended a different hall or get someone to look after him whilst I went to meetings. This does not address the underlying issue. Why should this religion be exclusively for the fit and healthy? What is the problem with inclusion and tolerance? It is a selfish faith with everyone for themselves rather than a faith that cherishes everyone and seeks to make their faith accessible. It seems to me the message of damn the sick is at odds with the general view of the gospel message.

  The bottom line is there is nothing wrong with my son, but plenty wrong with the religion. I thank my son for helping me to see the actual harm the doctrines cause to those who are most vulnerable. It helped me to take the decision to examine my faith more deeply and see that it not only harmed my children but offered nothing of spiritual value to anyone. My time is better spent with my son and daughter than being indoctrinated into publishing company.
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  Still Totally ADD

  Nugget that was a heart wrenching story. But it shows how you did take responsibility to get your child out of a enviroment that was harmful to you son. You are to be admired for what you are doing. I remember as a child hearing all that crap about killing and death and I know what it did to my emotional well being I can just imagine what your son went through. You are right elders are not trained in anything that does not have to do with field service or DF someone. But like it was said the Wt. has had many years to fine tune their cult like thinking and are masters at controling people. Thank you for your story and best wishes to your son and family. Still Totally ADD
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  Heaven

  When I was a teenager (eons ago), the blood policy was strictly no blood... period. I lived in fear that as a child under the age of consent, I had a real possibility of dying because my parents might refuse a blood transfusion if I ever needed it. I had also been told that everyone has the opportunity to be a JW but as soon as I was told JWs can't have a blood transfusion, I knew this eliminated certain groups of people such as hemophiliacs. My cousin was in a very bad car accident as well. She needed a blood transfusion but refused it. She died. She left behind a husband and 3 children.

  When my Mom became chronically ill, the elders at my parent's hall just hounded my Dad to keep pio-sneering. They never helped him look after her.

  Now that my Dad has dementia, he is no longer able to witness. He no longer has the capability to understand what they are talking about anymore, let alone comprehend anything written in their publications.

  My whole life I have watched this religion isolate and harm people. This religion is a major reason why I did not have children.
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  Ruby456

  nugget thank you so much for sharing your story. what you did is truly awesome and I have so much to say on this I hardly know where to begin. It must have been so hard for you and your family to question and dismantle the power structure overseeing and overiding your relationship to and care for your son. This is not easy and never has been.

  heaven

  jehovahs heavenly chariot crushes his own people leaving orphans and widowers and the sick in its wake. I don't blame you for deciding not to have children. I wouldn't have either but now that I am teaching them to develop bridging capital as much as I can. I see this as part of my responsibility to my children and to my husband and relatives etc.
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  Ruby456

  It isn't easy to dismantle a power structure that subordinates and crushes you and those you love. so what sort of things does a person do and think about to accomplish such a huge feat?