Dating Advice needed

by KateWild 51 Replies latest social relationships

  • villagegirl
    villagegirl

    Be more concerned about your impression of them

    than their impression of you. Are you comfortable?

    When you meet someone it only takes a few minutes

    to determine if you are comfortable in their presence .

    Do you have anything to talk about ? Are you attracted

    to the man in any way ? Is he smart enough to be engaging?

    Is he sarcastic ? Do you sense anger below the surface ?

    Does he get irritated easily and seem controlling ?

    Does he appear mentally stable ? Is he appropriately open

    but not spilling his guts on first meeting. Is he an "advice giver"

    so his entire converstation is giving you advice ? Is he shifty,

    and secretive ? Does he start talking about sex in the first

    30 minutes of meeting him ? Or bad mouthing his ex ?

    Or talking about drugs. Is he open about where he works,

    lives and what his home phone is ? (Or if he works)

    Does he have good personal hygiene?

    Did he get there on a skateboard ?

    You don't have to "do" anything. Its an interview and

    your conducting it. Your not there to "please" him, but

    to evaluate whether this is a person you might consider

    as a friend. Basically this person has to work as someone

    you like and someone you trust, and someone you respect.

  • DJS
    DJS

    VG, not bad advice. And hopefully 'he' will be doing the same thing.

  • villagegirl
    villagegirl

    No need to get stressed. And today there are many ways to "meet"

    before meeting, on SKYPE on various Video Chat options. That way

    you might eliminate a possible waste of your time and effort to go

    in person somewhere. Most people have built in web cams, or can

    obtain an external web cam very inexpensive. $10-$20

    I would say avoid the temptation of the long distance relationship.

  • Giordano
    Giordano

    Did he get there on a skateboard ?

    Laugh out loud funny!

  • Antioch
    Antioch

    Just know what you want. And know how you want to play the game. Slow, fast, intense, cool, serious talking, laughable fun, adventure, security, etc. You gotta find someone who is walking the same way you already have decided you want to walk.

    Other than that, just show up. Show up and be you. One date is ONLY to decide if there should be a second date. And a second date is ONLY to decide if there should be a third. After you've had enough to feel like you know who they are, THEN you start asking the big questions to yourself.

  • karter
    karter

    It's ok to be seeing a few diffrent guys till you find one you want to go futher with.

    As far a telling them about your JW past leave that till it fells like the rite time to tell them.

    On your 1st few dates just be yourself and let the conversation flow if it dosen't then he's not the rite one.

    I wish you well but from experance internet dateing is at best hard but who knows.

    Make sure you meet in a public place and dont give out too many details about were you live,work ect there are plenty of nutters on those sites.

    Good luck.

    Karter.

  • happy@last
    happy@last

    Enjoy your coffee, just let the conversation flow. Tell him the response you've had on the dating sites, see how he reacts. Talk about your likes and dislikes etc., you'll see pretty quickly if you click. There's no need to rush anything, just have fun. I'd stay away from the religion discussion initially as you are still only just out and he might find he's a counsellor instead of a date.

  • talesin
    talesin

    I was considering POF or some other free site, but I hesitate.

    Before internet dating, there were newspaper ads, similar set up. You registered, and contact was by phone. So, I took a chance and replied to a message. He lived an hour's drive away, and we arranged to meet for coffee downtown, in a neutral location.

    Well, he did lie about his looks (ack), but I was willing to overlook that. Once the conversation got started, though, it didn't take long before I was thinking "Oy, glad this is a public place and I can ditch him". About 10 minutes into it, he mentioned that he was still recovering from his last relationship,,,,, with a 17 YO girl! This guy was early 30s.

    I, being the shy and retiring type I am, took the opportunity to 'educate' him on the creepiness of 30-something men dating 17 YO girls, told him I was gong to the ladies', and made the dash.

    I dunno, maybe I'll give it a whirl. I've been single far too long, and there could be someone who wants a gimpy, ex-fashion victim who is still holding up pretty good in spite of it all. :P

    xx

    tal

  • KateWild
    KateWild

    Wow guys thanks. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I will update you soon. I want to make some personal responses too.

    LQ, no I wasn't offended at all, I just wanted to know if you were my age. Men never really change do they?

    Kate xx

  • Latte
    Latte

    Hope the date went/goes well Kate!

    Just wondering where abouts are you in the uk? I am in the North west...we could be helpful to each other!

    (I'm female and straight BTW...lol )

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