I am on the edge of a freak out ..... I think???

by DATA-DOG 72 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  cultBgone

  DD, you've received some great advice here. Let me add to it: give yourself a break. YOU are not accountable for your wife's happiness, that's her problem. YOU are only accountable for You, and for your daughter getting out of the cult. You may do better withdrawing (call it depression or whatever) to allow yourself some down time. You need to sleep! And you're going to need to decide upon your exit strategy. Obviously you cannot keep up appearances for much longer and it's probably causing your wife to respond to your negative feelings. Perhaps if you were at home and more peaceful, she would respond in kind. In any event, you can't save your daughter without putting on YOUR oxygen mask first.

  ((((((((((((((((((DD)))))))))))))))))))
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  The WTBTS will use you until they use you up. You have the power to stop them from doing this. I know because I finally had it and I left.
• 

  Mikado

  DD, a lot of what you choose to do depends on your basic level of anxiety in your daily life. do you feel that you need help in this time of crisis? I agree you probably ly do need to learn new coping skills, we all do. IF you need it, medication WILL help you to copem it's not a crutch, just an assistance for you.

  Your wife has just been totally manipulated, and is terrified that she will loose you, don't forget the vague feelings of disdain in the jw for those with an unbelieving mate.?? she's under UNBELIEVABLE pressure, as are you....

  good luck with whatever you do, but make sure you look after yourself....
• 

  jam

  What can the WT learn from Proverbs 6:6-9 from

  the Ants?? Maybe self-motivation, to look ahead and the

  value of hard work. Prov.6:9 "poverty come on you like a

  prowler" if you don't learn from the ant.
• 

  Twitch

  I don't think there are any evil geniuses at WTS HQ, more like zombie Colonel Klink style self righteous buffoons peddling their brand of jesus in the street. Propaganda, yes. Diabolical, no. Niche self interest group with a media dept.

  Kudos to you for being a man that provides and cares for his family

  Don't quit

  Being in control doesn't mean taking the easy way out. Quite the opposite methinks.

  You don't want the elders to treat you like shit in front of your loved ones. You would regret that.

  Try not to ignore emotional outbursts or react in kind. Such are cries for help as well.

  Focus on something is necessary. Keep sight of the shore or horizon. Work does the trick and provides for needs and goals, careful it doesn't create further distance you can't come back from.

  You do have the answers, just haven't found them but they're close.

  You can help others, but it's not your fault if they don't take your hand. They have their choices, you have yours.

  I admire your dedication to family, your strength and your honesty. I could not do what you do.

  Everyone has their limits and it's necessary to find out where they are. They also provide answers.

  Good luck to you sir.
• 

  Julia Orwell

  My heart pours out for you bro! You are on the edge of a freak out. You are living a lie and it's tearing you apart. You can't keep going on like this. It's only gonna get worse for your mental health. Believe me, I had several melt downs when I was a jw.

  It's probably time to make a stand. Of course I'm not in your situation so can't tell you what to do, especially since your daughter is involved. Perhaps you should talk to a counselor or Steve Hassan. You need some coping mechanisms in place.
• 

  Make Lemonade

  Hi Data Dog: Reading how you feel makes me want to share what I do when the emotional pain reaches the level you have described. First however let me say that all the advice on this post comes from the heart of those sharing what they think. That in itself can encourage you. You are not "crazy" or alone. From what so many have already shared you have more than enough suggestions to choose from. I am sure you have already found many that work for you.

  Now to what I do when I need relief form the pain you are describing. I leave my house as early in the morning as possible. Have breakfast in a restaurant that reminds me of good times. Then I head to the beach. I am close to some unbelievably beuatiful places. The ocean, birds, deer, elk, flowers, etc. are all the drug I need. In the first 10 miniutes of walking in a beautiful area I feel relief. It is all the drug I need.

  Take your wife and daughter with you. Enjoy something like this together. Hold hands and talk about how nice it is where you are. We cannot always be expected to deal with Watctower issues 24/7. We all need to have a break. I had to go to the beach just two days ago. It worked well and gave me the ability to deal with some difficult situations at work and in the crazy Watchtower world.
• 

  NAVYTOWN

  Pick a specific date to quit being involved with the Witnesses. Any date will do...but the sooner the better. Then follow thru with it. Just CHOOSE to stop attending. No discussion or explanations needed. Your wife will piss and moan.....let her do it but DO NOT give in. Tell her you just can't do the JW thing any longer in order to preserve your mental and physical health. If the elders come around, just at most tell them you are having severe anxiety and cannot continue with meetings or antything else. Then just end the discussion. Your wife will get over it one way or another. Just stay true to yourself and your choices. Remember: the life we live is mostly determined by the CHOICES we make!!
• 

  Imminent1975

  I feel for you and my heart pours in support of you. You'll figure it out.

  2008-2009 were some very rough years financially for many companies and industires. I took work through the union trades, and the only work available was 3 hours away working four --10 hour days.

  I had made arrangements with the foreman to leave early on Thursday afternoon so I could make the meeting even after crossing a time zone with an early 7:00 p.m. meeting. Even though I was there physically at the meeting and only missed for the flu virus, there were so many comments from unemployed "friends" that said, "You are working out of town and have missed many meetings, you may need to get another occupation", I got to the point you are at. I thought hard, and realized that the "friends" didn't appreciate what I was doing.

  Many of these "fellow brothers and sisters" were out of work and there was nothing for them. But they would reject work if it conflicted with a scheduled meeting or any meeting really. I watched them slowly get poorer and poorer as they pioneered going in the service daily, not having the money to pay for gas for service and only subsiting/ surviving on unemployment. When the unemployment payments stopped, even after all the extensions that the Feds gave to unemployment, the brothers slowly went back to work, out of town, cough, cough and missed more meetings than I ever did.

  The next meeting I went to I talked to the P.O. and the Secretary, I told them that I was working out of town, and that with the lack of work situation I would not be looking for other work or occupation, but would continue to travel out of town. I told them I didn't qualify as an appointed brother and to consider my resignation tendered immediately.

  I left that night and never returned, and am proud that I am doing what I have to do in the "not the best of economies" to support my family. JW's will squeeze the life out of you and your family and your source of income IF you let them.

  Son, stand up for what you really believe.
• 

  talesin

  You are doing great, bro! It's only natural to feel exactly how you are feeling. When we are so strong, sometimes we need to let off some frustration, and be able to lean on others and catch a rest.

  That's what we are here for. :))

  Glad you're feeling better already - you can do this, DD! Your daughter will have a real life because of you. Take heart, and know you have tons of support.

  xo

  tal