*Anthony Morris the Turd enters stage left*
Warm love and greetings from the Christian Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses. One hundred years ago Christ Jesus began his invisible rule in the heavens. Since then Jehovah's chariot has been gathering more momentum each day. We now live in the age of the internet, and it has become one of the prime sources by which many people now read, and by which some Witnesses now spread the Good News of the Kingdom.
In light of these developments the Governing Body saw it fit to make the following changes.
The Governing Body has come to the decision that hours spent engaging in the preaching work online may now be included on your field service report (5 GB 4:15). This includes sharing emails, making posts on social media, and responding to posts. Each publisher may add an additional 10 minutes for each Like or Re-tweet since viral posts will give a longer witness to unlookers.
Jehovah's Witnesses are now permitted to have their own blog at jw.org in the format jw.org/country/congregation name/username. This account will serve to contain content you have selected from JW.org, which you may share with interested ones. Elders and ministerial servants will be assigned to monitor these pages to make sure that they contain information in line with our teachings. Please note that comments are disabled for these pages so as not to detract from the vital life saving information.
Since the world is now relying more and more on the internet we have decided to consolidate the Watchtower and Awake into a montly track entitled "Visit JW.org"!
Clearly, the internet is a wonderful tool which Jehovah is indeed blessing so as to make sure that the Good News of the Kingdom is spread throughout the entire inhabited earth in this time of the end! Brothers, we have to be mindfull of the fact that someone else is using the internet to do evil. Who is that? Satan the Devil!
*slight crowd murmer* *brothers in the audience nod mindlessly*
We have to constantly be on guard against pornography, violence, and apostacy among other things! With this in mind the Faithful Slave has made available a new software program for desktops and mobile devices: JW Guard!!!
*THUNDEROUS applause* *cheering* *20 seconds elapse* *brothers break out in tears, whisper about how wonderful it all is*
JW Guard will monitor traffic on your devices and block out pornography, violent content, apostate propaganda among other things. The best part is that it automatically updates each week to make sure that you are protected from the latest attempts by Satan to lead you astray on the internet!!!. Brothers who search for flagged terms more than once a month will be automatically reported to your local elders via email, and lovingly be sheperded to bring them back in line. Are we not reaping the blessings of 100 years of Kingdom rule????
*Anthony Morris the Turd exits stage left* *THUNDEROUS applause* *THUNDEROUS applause* *THUNDEROUS applause*