For those who feel that their life has been stolen

by stillin 47 Replies latest jw friends

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  stillin

  Yes, it was. But consider this:

  You maintained a level of personal decency and integrity that you almost certainly would not have had if you had chosen another direction.

  sure, you would have had some very "colorful" friends and experiences if you had gone another way, but you still chose the more "edgy" people in the congregation as your friends and you still enjoyed yourself, even if there were a lot of phony constraints.

  you looked for ways to be of value to others. Don't stop doing that!

  you kept the darker side of your personality in check. People liked you.

  Of course, you were a self-righteous ass, you were drinking the Koolaid! Now you know. If you kept on with that attitude NOW, you would be a jerk. But you are learning tolerance.

  there were real lessons learned about getting along with all sorts. Even psychopaths.

  it may have been an erroneous course that you were on but it was the one you chose and that worked for you at the time. You could have done a lot worse.

  I'm sure there are more snippets. Anyone care to add?
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  AnnOMaly

  Our life is not stolen if we're still alive and in reasonable health. Yes, we may have made poor choices in the past (for the best of reasons we thought at the time) or had poor choices inflicted on us, and we're now living with the consequences and have not lived to our full potential, BUT every day is a new opportunity to salvage what we can or even make little steps to at least partly reverse those consequences.

  The JW experience should be seen IMHO as a learning curve containing a mix of positive and negative experiences that can help us live more fulfilling lives NOW.

  But that's me. Others' experiences with the Org. have been far more damaging to their lives and, understandably, they can't be as charitable.
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  prologos

  it was stolen in the sense that it exploited my altruistic drive as a human, an activity I enjoyed, they abused it , turned into an activity that supported their

  power structure and crazy doctrines, but

  gave me recognition and good relations with females that were in quality a cut above the world average.
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  blondie

  My comment has nothing to do with the WTS abuse as to whether my life was stolen. I grew up with a non-jw father who molested all his children. He never had to face legal justice but not due to my lack of trying...the laws were just not in place then. But now I fight to improve and change those laws. My father abused me as a child, but as a grownup I took back the power over my life. Life isn't over until you are dead; or as one man said "It isn't too late until you are dead." If you are alive, it is not over...so live the life you have from this moment forward.

  "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift— that's why they call it the present."
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  KateWild

  you kept the darker side of your personality in check. People liked you.-stillin

  Yes people like me, but people also disliked me very much. WT brought out the darker side of my personality. Being in such a controlling and toxic environment was stressful and I called JWs on their nonsense. This was not a desireable quality to have.

  They stole my life and I lost my son, I am still fighting to get him back. It wa a traumatic experience being a JW and now I have left it's traumatic building my life back.

  Kate xx
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  stillin

  KateWild. You say that the WT brought OUT the darker side of your personality. I had not considered how that might happen. Please don't take my OP as any sort of glowing analysis of life in the Borg. I'm just saying that there were positive things too.
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  KateWild

  I had not considered how that might happen.-stillin

  I know that some JWs are just plodders and they just keep going and are better people for it. I know you see the positive things too, and it's good to have a positive view. I suppose my efforts in the FS and my success with getting studies was positive, these studies are very good friends of mine now I am out.

  So I do see the positive if I try a little harder

  Kate xx
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  suavojr

  I have my good memories of growing in the borg but I also have memories of pain, lack of love, self-righteousness, distrust towards me, and feelings of wanting to die. To me the bad things overshadow the good few moments.
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  zebagain

  When I answered at wt a bit differently to the drones who quoted the party line verbatim i was looked at with suspicion. I would answer from the expereince of life.

  Later the wts told everyone to answer like that. so they did.

  In my last experiences of wt the whole borg had become very defensive and evryone was back to quoting the party line or sitting like dumb s*** and not saying anything at all.
• 

  NotNew

  At first read of this post...I hear it saying...it was all your fault...you brought it upon yourself...now get over it!

  ? Did u have your childhood taken from you...GET OVER IT

  ? Were you not permitted to get a good education...GET OVER IT...MOVE ON. Oh ur 60..well u can start now

  ? Did you live your life in fear of displeasing Jah and being put to death ...GET OVER IT...THERE ARE OTHER THINGS TO BE FEARFUL OF!

  ? Did u believe u would never get old or retire or die...so sad...too bad!

  ? Did u not have children waiting for the new system...sorry u should not of listened to us!

  ? Oh u would like to move on...but your entire life, family, friends, work...all life's support is tied in with us...Well let us know when something changes!

  Getting over it and moving on is easier said then done. However I know there are some practial suggestions that can be put in to action but it takes time and so many of us have little time left.

  SW