Scared I'll Never be Happy Again

by Stumbeline 26 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Stumbeline

    Thanks for the advice everyone. I really do appreciate it. @NAVYTOWN, I was actually looking into going to a Unitarian Church. Like I said, I don't know if God exists, but I don't like the idea of completely discrediting the idea so I thought that might be a good fit for now. What I would really like to do is meet other ex-JW's in person.

  • jamiebowers

    Try for your area. If you're near NE Ohio, let me know

  • kaik

    Stumbeline, welcome to JWN. You like many of us were decieved by man made religion and the emotional scars are deep. They will take a time to heal. Remeber, you have the key to happiness that was denied to you by following false prophets. Of course you will be happy again. I will advise you to create a goal to look for and work for. Create small goals and long term goals. They will keep you busy and will make you stronger. You will see a progress and you will know that you are winning over publishing house. Think of small goals like I joing yoga class, pillates in gym, read a book, pain a room. Think of your goals like securing your future and livelihood. Go to college, learn skills necessary for job market, save money for down payment...

    I would not worry much about the family at this point. When you succeeding, you can show how life is better outside the cult. You may try to win your family away from it. Longer I am out from WT (~20 years), the life is much better than for my siblings who are in. Do not let man made organization controlling you. If you suffer from deep depression as result of leaving the cult, the others advices correctly to see a professional help. WT engaged in psychological and mental abuse, and the wounds are just too deep to be healed on its own.

  • Aunt Fancy
    Aunt Fancy

    Stumbleline, you are feeling what many of us have felt. You are still newly out so give yourself some time to heal. Try to research and read books written about ex-JW's, Steven Hassen - cult recovery, self help books and research the history of religion because it will help you heal. I agree with the others who suggested you find a good therapist that understands being in a cult because it help will help change your life.

    I don't know how you can go back and live a lie because I think it will be so harmful to your mental health. Get involved with things you enjoy and find some hobbies that involves meeting others or volunteer. Once you start to make new friends your life will change.

    You are still young and you have a great future ahead of you, just take advantage of the opportunities out there. Many ex-JW's go wild when they leave but don't feel you have to try everything just to fit in.

    Hang in there, it is a roller coaster ride and you will have your down moments but pick yourself up and keep moving forward. We are here whenever you need to talk.

  • bobert

    I felt pretty messed up at first when I left the truth. My recommendation would be to take small steps. Soon you'll feel good about yourself


    Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you are probably right.

  • LisaRose

    It's always rough when we first wake up, it's hard finding out you have believed in a lie and that your life is changing in a big way. But trust that it does get easier as time goes on. You do have choices, even if there are downsides to each, you are the only one who can decide what's best for you. If you choose to leave the religion, yes, it will affect family relationships. But in time you will make new friends and have new relationships, so that will help lessen the sting of losing family. If you stay in the religion, you will keep your family, but at a cost. It's not impossible, many have done it. It will be hard, there is no denying that, but many posters here stay in the organization to preserve family relationships.

    I guess if it were my decision I would leave. Eventually you will no doubt meet and marry someone. That someone and any future children will then be your family. If you stay, they will be JWs, and they will be raised in the religion, could you live with that? If you cannot then force yourself to stay you will lose them, and losing children is far worse than losing a parent. Something to think about.

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