What surprising reactions have you experienced from family and friends?

by cultBgone 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • cultBgone

    Musing over several rather eye-opening reactions I've recently experienced has made me wonder what others have been told that made them go...wow.

    My earliest was a family member upset with me for not attending meetings who exclaimed, "But you're going to die at armageddon!" I told them that wasn't true because the bible says that god is Love and he doesn't work that way. They were very angry with me! I realized it wasn't ME they were concerned about, but their own sense of loss that if I would not be there [paradiseā„¢], they would be miserable, so their reaction really was "how could I do this to them". The sad part for me was that I had raised this person as a jw. Happily, they have since seen the light.

    I would love to share my three more recent reactions but sadly I cannot open them up to lurkers at this time.

    What about you? Any experiences that made you just shake your head and say wow, how did I ever believe THAT?

  • new hope and happiness
    new hope and happiness

    Mine was the empathy and indifference from " elders shepperding the flock" . Wind forward 6 months and those same elders were like " who does he think he is? His not one of Us!" and the wolves were out to get me. surprised by the indifference from my true friends. You see there indifference was a positive indifference in that my leaving really didnt change things. Of course thats how i found out who my real friends were. And i think the fact that i can count those friends on one hand is more realistic than the superficial big worldwide brotherhood i once belived in.

  • Found Sheep
    Found Sheep

    What caught my attention was being shunned when I was still "in". I lived in a small town and if I saw one they would literaly gasp and turn around. WHat ever


  • Oubliette

    cultbgone: They were very angry with me!

    It's actually very curious how most JWs take it so personally when another individual leaves the religion.

  • Comatose

    They don't want to be in, so when you leave it freaks them out.

  • Phizzy

    " It's actually very curious how most JWs take it so personally when another individual leaves the religion." Oubliette

    My own mother took this stance shortly after she found out I had ceased all association, she spoke of what I "had done" to her and the family. I pointed out that I had done nothing, it was they who had changed the family relationships by not accepting that I no longer believed.

    She grudgingly agreed that it was true in a way. But she still thought it was my fault overall.

    The problem that JW's have is that their faith is so very fragile, and anyone who leaves throws down a challenge to that faith, JW's know in their heart they cannot rise to the challenge.

    They cannot defend the indefensible.

  • Oubliette

    Phizzy: They cannot defend the indefensible.

    By definition, no they cannot.

    I'm sorry about your mom, but that is sadly just so typical, and it is exactly what I was talking about in my previous comment: JWs act as if--by our having doubts or disagreements witht the religion--we are somehow doing something to them personally.

    Why do they take it so personally?

    When I was disfellowshipped a few years ago, a JW that was just an acquaintance made a big point to let me know that she was personally hurt because of "what I'd done." Incredulous, I asked her, "Why are you taking this personally? It's not like I've done this to you. Besides, you don't even know WHY I'm being disfellowshipped."

    She responded through many tears, "You've hurt me!"

    They're all trained to be such bloody helpless victims. What about the monumental betrayal that the WT leadership has done to all of us!

    In the end, I just suppose it's one more manifestation of what cult-mind control does to people.

    Anyone that "leaves" for whatever reason is viewed as a betrayer. It is so ironic, because the real Betrayers are the GB members. Liars, hypocrites, cowards and con-men, that lot.

  • Dagney

    I just learned last weekend that a number of people thought I faded because I was "keeping company" with a "worldly" boyfriend.

    It couldn't POSSIBLY be because of the religion!

  • problemaddict

    It can if not surprising, be shocking that people you considered your friends can so quicky forget kindness, your history together, and your "friendship", simply because you begin to think differently.

    But your friendships are usually a triad. Once you remove the religion, the triagle falls apart.

    This one isn't mine but its a good one. Someone who grew up in my hall when I was young, came out as gay when he was 20. Moved, stopped attending, got married in another state, never was disfellowshipped.

    His mother being the good christian she is hasn't spoken to him for 7 years. But she did find the time to write condolance cards.......like what you would send to a funeral.....to her still alive, married for 20 years to his partner with 2 children son.

    Pretty bizarre.

  • lriddle80

    When I told them I now attend a baptist church, they said I worship demons now. And that I would have to denounce being a JW. I didn't. In fact, I asked if I had to tell the JW about it when I got saved and this lady said "I didn't tell the catholics" lol! But, definitely not positive!

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