what to do when you have a crazy friend? (page 2)

AudeSapere

quellycatface wrote: Just don't let Hannah near any pet rabbits.

I was thinking same story line! This has trouble and disaster written all over it.

losingit - You can call her on this behavior. Nothing wrong with citing boundary issues. Your friend clearly has trouble knowing where the boundaries are. You, however, know that your first priority is your children. And you have a very full plate with finishing school and preparing for pending job. She is just too much drama. (do you want the gun weilding spouse to come looking for her at your house????)

About 8 years ago, I had a similiar friend. Different players, but strange love triangles, a young child, lack of structure and boundary challenged. Abusive men were working her over. At her house one evening, she told me some stories. I told her that she was scaring me. Her stories are terrifying and I could not visit anymore. I got up and left within 5 minutes. I suggested she call the police and get to a shelter with her child. OK to call me from the shelter and we could meet for coffee, but I did not feel safe in her house with all the torment she told me about.

She chose not to call the police. Left her young child with her husband and she eventually left the boyfriend (I think he went to jail for other offenses) and then reunited with the husband. We spoke on the phone a few times but she was still way too much drama for me. It took too much from my life to spend time with her.

Funny thing though... She saw me as mentor and sort of a role model. It surprised her to see a woman set boundaries and keep them. I did not hate her. In fact, there were things I liked about her. She was fun. Crazy, but fun. But when the crazy in her and the crazy in her life started to make me feel threatened, I let her know and then I acted on by distancing my self. Couple years later, she seemed to appreciate was I doing.

-Aude.

sparrowdown

She could some sort of personaltiy disorder. In which case there is no reasonong with her.

ShirleyW

Whatever kind of lifestyle your friend is living, the issue is how often do they burden you with details. If you have to listen to the details of the relationship. Everybody has a story from some folks have to realize that, and decipher which folks live off the drama of their stories and which folks you just don't blab everything to.

Ever since I was teenager when you really get into the boy-girl relationship, it even bugged the Hell out of me then to listen to, " Bob says he likes me but I don't know if I like him, Jim asked me out but if I go I wonder if Bob will find out, or maybe his sister will tell him and. . . ", never could stand that !

skeeter1

This chick has a few marbles lost in her head. I'd honestly tell her that her behavior and situations that she got herself into are very disturbing to you, and that she needs professional help. Then, don't return her calls and just be too busy to deal with her. She just wants an ear, and has probably drofe off any other ear. I think that as JWs, we hang on to people who are not always worth hanging onto. Want to keep calling onto a householder. And, as ex-JWs we also tend to become enablers of people with bad behavior.

Hortensia

Back slowly away from this person. Become too busy to spend time with her. She's nuts and likes drama, and she has a dangerous person in her life. You don't want to be around when her life explodes -- you might get hit with shrapnel.

NAVYTOWN

If you stay in that so-called friendship for even a day longer, then you are as much of a mental basket-case as Hannah. Sounds like the sole basis of your relationship is that you both crave drama. You just do it vicariously thru her.

quellycatface

Whatever you do, do not tell the wife.She's just had a baby and her hormones will not have settled yet. Don't.

KateWild

Your friend seems to have gone through a rough time and needs a lot of support. You have been through a rough time too and need some support. You need to do what is best for your family circumstances, even coming here and venting shows you already know what the best course of action is for your family.

I would recomend for her to get in touch with her doctor and get a referal to a professional. She really needs help.

Kate xx

losingit

Yikes NAVYTOWN! I'm not in this friendship bc I crave the drama, not even vicariously. When we first started getting to know each other, we related on many levels bc we both experienced domestic violence in our lives. I remembered how noone was there for me so I made a point of being there for her. After some time passed, however, it became clearer to me that we are very different. While I'm taking steps to.improve my life, she keeps on digging an even deeper ditch. Her actions the other day really scared me, as have some others in the past, but this one took the cake. My plan is to back away from her slowly, as some here have suggested.

what to do when you have a crazy friend?

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