I am DF'd now... Decisions, decisions...

by Comatose 34 Replies latest jw experiences

  • fulltimestudent
    fulltimestudent

    My mom just after saying I was the same as dead, said to remember I made this decision not them.

    That's simply not the truth, is it? Its true that you made a decision (in affect) to leave that religion.

    But your parents MADE THE DECISION to do what that religion tells them to do. They cannot escape their personal responsibility, by saying its your fault.

    I suggest you remind them of that in whatever discussions you have. They decided to break normal family relationships, not you.

  • Comatose
    Comatose

    I agree fulltimestudent. Thats why I posted it... It hurts because it isn't true. Live a lie and be a fake person and pretend and be dishonest my entire life or else I am making the decision to have my parents shun me... No. Just a lie she tells herself to cope.

  • AudeSapere
    AudeSapere

    Jesus taught love.

    Jesus did not shun.

    Shunning is not a Christian trait.

    You are welcoming your parents to your home. That is showing love and acceptance - even though you have different beliefs.

    They choose to view you as dead and yet want your very live mouth and conscience to grant access to your daughter while they disrespect you in front of her. That is not love. It's twisted. And it's a perversion of Jesus' message. [Maybe not so much if they put Paul's words above Jesus, but then - WTF - it just opens more twisted perversions of 'truth'.]

    We all know that JWs are usually under the misconception that any and all who DA or get DF'd, are rebellious and still believe that WTS/jw.org teaches truth. What do they *really* expect us to do when our own bible-trained consciences tell us that the WTS is *not* teaching the truth about Jesus? If we find the WTS is wrong, seriously... what are we supposed to do? We've already prayed, increased our service, increased our participation, researched - then restricted our research because old books are old light. When we've run ourselves ragged trying to reconcile unchristian teachings and beliefs withing in the org... *WHAT* would our active family members have us do? Live what we believe to be a lie? Fake it so it makes their lives easier?? Jehovah alone is the reader of hearts. Not man. Not elders. Not mom or dad. Jehovah. So let Jehovah himself work it out. If we, as thoughtful, responsible, adults are willing to trust that Jehovah will read our hearts and set things right, why can't our individual and respective family members?

    [To be clear, I no longer believe in Jehovah, but when talking to my 2 active family members, I speak as if I do.]

    It's a sad, sad situation. And it's getting more and more absurd.

    -Aude. (with a nod to Elton John...)

  • Hortensia
    Hortensia

    They say they have to see her without us. So, still figuring that one out. I have to come up with a way to preserve my daughters realtionship and not let them indoctrinate her (which they would). So, we will be talking about that before long I am sure. They will want to come stay in our town in a hotel and see her. Wish there was a good way to solve this easily. But, its going to be a pain in the ass.

    There is NO way for her to have a "normal" relationship with the grandparents. If they are hardcore enough to shun you, they are hardcore enough to do everything possible to convert your daughter and turn her against you.

    And the whole shun the parent/love the grandkids thing is very very crazy. You don't have to do anything except protect your daughter. If they want to see her, they see you and treat you decently -- it's a package deal.

  • mzmmom
    mzmmom

    Please be really careful with your little one. JW's and their doctrine can turn in an instant, and her little heart will be broken. Speaking from experience.

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