Today i miss my friends and feel negative. How did you overcome?

by Jon Preston 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • Jon Preston
    Jon Preston

    Today nothing feels right. I feel like a bystander to all things. As if im nowhere and have no forward progression. My wife and i are looking to move and arent having much luck. Our finances are low, cant afford insurance but make too much for assistance. everything today just seems so heavy. We miss our friends and it angers me that i can only hang with them if im flowing suit and obeying all from the FDs.

    How did you overcome your loneliness?

    Watching cosmos last night helped and music has been my best inspiration. But im more irritable and less cheery than ive been.

    Is it just Nostalgia kicking in?

  • nonjwspouse

    Though never in your situation exactly, when I feel lonely, I would find a place to do volunteer work.

  • cult classic
    cult classic

    Some days are like that. It takes a lot of courage to leave a cult. The longer you've been in the stronger the emotions after you leave. I just remember the conditional nature of my old "friends" and that gets me headed in the right direction mentally. You must develop relationships outside of the cult and that takes time. Start w workmates, neighbors, maybe take a class.

    You'll be ok. Stay strong.

  • wasblind

    Today nothing feels right. I feel like a bystander to all things . As if I'm nowhere and have no forward progression. Is it nostalgia kicking in ?_____Jon Preston

    Yes, That's exactly what your were doin' as a Jehovah's Witness while

    " Waitin' on the Kingdom "



    I understand how you feel Jon

    we all have those days



    The good thing about it, We don't have to " Wait "

    to change our circumstances



    Hope you feel better in the days to come


  • jamiebowers

    I was df'd but left a believer. Any time I faced adversity I felt as though it was a punishment. Maybe your problem with finances and insurance is causing you to feel that way too. ANd being alone in the world is very scary without friends, especially if you don't have the money to change your surroundings.

    You will feel less lonely and more confident once you overcome difficulties on your own. Always remember that no matter how bad things are, they will change, and you won't be under these circumstances forever. Maybe picking up part time work will help you to save enough to move and pay for insurance. Perhaps you have a 401K you can cash in or have an income tax return coming. I don't know your financials, but there's always some way to dig yourself out.

  • designs

    Stay strong.

    The friends I left behind wanted religion over friendship, what was really lost.

  • Separation of Powers
    Separation of Powers

    Hello Jon

    I have my bouts as well, at times. I keep reminding myself that I have chosen to take a different path and although I miss the association, I really don't miss any of the people. When I remove my desire for camaraderie from the equation, I admit that most of those with whom I once associated frequently were very shallow sorts. We spent most of our time chatting about almost nothing at all, particularly nothing important.

    To address the vacancy, in terms of association, I began to take classes at the local college, online mainly. It gave me a goal and provided some interaction, meaningful interaction. Then, I found some charity that needed support, something I believed in and made it a point to make sure that I interacted with others who likewise found it meaningful.

    Additionally, I reached out to family who were not consumed by the ORG, and I came to the most meaningful of realizations, namely, there are a lot of good people out there that would like to be your friend. True, genuine people who will have your back in a crisis, who will visit you in the hospital, who will hold your hand when you cry, or laugh out loud at your jokes. People, who like you, have made drastic turns in their lives and are looking for someone to help them fill their void.

    One of the most crucial things you have to do is STOP THINKING LIKE A JW. No, I don't mean forget your morals or ethics; I mean don't look at others as if they are all destined for death or otherwise merit it. Believe it or not, it may well be part of your psyche. Open your eyes, grasp each day, say hello to a stranger and believe in a cause. Kindness is now my religion. It has made a difference.

    With kind regard,


  • ABibleStudent

    Hi Jon Preston, What do you like to do that doesn't cost much money and you can make new friends? Go to a park? Go to the gym? Go to a community event? If you want to get out of your depression, get out of your comfort zone.

    Conditional friends are easy to make and lose. Unconditional friends take more effort, but friendships lasts longer and will survive adversity.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


  • AudeSapere

    Music and taking classes helped me alot during my transition.

    This was before JWN and way before my first meet-up with XJW's. At the time I did not consider myself an 'X'; merely inactive due to conscience matters. So I kept my distance from non-JW's and JW's alike. All for far too long.

    I don't remember your situation so will leave further comments for others.

    All the best on your personal journey.


  • quellycatface

    I still feel that way.It all started back in 2004 when I married out of the truth.Started fading until I da'd 4 months ago. Find it harder to make friends now I'm older. Must try harder to make new friends but I feel quite happy in my own company just now.

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