Anyone know where to get support?

by Nosferatu 15 Replies latest jw friends

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  Nosferatu

  I blew up and dumped my girlfriend on Monday over a silly little thing. It's been happening in pretty much every relationship I get involved in. It never happened before my marriage.

  During my marriage, I was alone almost all the time. When I would ask my wife to spend time with me, she had better things to do.

  After doing some internet searching, it seems that I have abandonment issues. I need to get myself on the road to recovery because I can't keep ruining relationships with good people. Does anyone know where to get some good support for this?
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  nicolaou

  Sorry to hear your troubles man. Where are you? UK? USA?
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  Nosferatu

  I'm in Canada. It doesn't necessarily have to be in person. I'm wondering if there's a message forum dedicated to it.
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  nicolaou

  Maybe an internet forum is useful but perhaps a visit to your Doctor might be more helpful - just to get pointed in the right direction. Professional counselling would be far more valuable than well meaning but ultimately subjective and anonymous advice from strangers.
  
  And yes, I see the irony in that post ;)
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  Nosferatu

  I've been playing phone tag with the counselor to get a session in. I just figured out my problem like yesterday, and I'm dying to get myself on the road to recovery. This problem has been a plague for the last 4 years, and now that I finally know what's wrong with me, I'm determined to get it under control. I picked up a book called "The Journey from Abandonment to Healing" which is sitting on my Kindle, waiting for some child-free time to focus on it.
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  Band on the Run

  I've been blue lately. Online forums make it worse. They claim they are helpful. The profs. disagree. I would suggest reading the book and seeing a real live counselor. Somethings need to be worked on as they come up in life than researching facts. My tendency is to overresearch. I can usually describe all the literature in an area. Change is hard. I wish you the best. Your post is very touching.

  Abandonment issues on the Internet must be complex. You probably need to build up some confidence to counter your fears.
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  DNCall

  I would add that the best therapist may be a psychiatrist. The symptoms you describe could also be attributed to depression and you would want a therapist who can prescribe medication.
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  Iown Mylife

  Nosferatu, sounds like you are actively seeking to remedy a troublesome personality trait - and acknowledging the problem as you have done, is a lot of progress. I think you will find the answers you need and things will smooth out for you!

  Marina
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  Nosferatu

  It really doesn't have to do with my self-esteem and my depression. I'm generally positive and self-confident. It's more like a trigger that gives me these high emotional spikes that I have difficulty controlling. They cause me to do stupid things.
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  Fernando

  Personally I would recommend seeing a good Psychologist well versed in CBT and psychotherapy (talking medicine).

  Psychiatrists, I believe, are best avoided, unless you can find a progressive one who is well aligned to the work of the likes of George Engel, Peter Breggin, Thomas Szasz, Al Siebert, and Courtenay Harding.

  The most meaningful and sustainable healing and transformation it seems comes from taking ownership and control as you are doing.

  Best wishes.

  Fernando