"So and so" has been REACTIVATED! Battery must have been low.
Post the funniest WTBTS quote you can think of
by DuvanMuvan 33 Replies latest watchtower bible
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DATA-DOG
From our member, SPLASH.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/watchtower/beliefs/277187/1/Beware-of-Mediums#.UzWwkahdWSp
From 1920 WT publication "Talking with the Dead":
p. 116 Materializations
"These materializations occur by a power which the demons posess of being able to draw out of the mediums body connected streams of the cells of which her body is composed, and then changing the form of these living cells into any desired appearance. They thus transform the medium into a hideous octopus-like creature, and this is the reason seances occur in a dimly lit room, with the medium in a cabinet, so that the circle of investigators cannot witness the horrible scene as it really is."p. 123 Demons control mediums by seizing the base of the brain
"The cerebellum of the brain is the power house of the body and it is from this center that the evil spirits seek control over the reasoing faculties, located in the cerebrum, and over the whole body."p. 126 Heavenly whiskey, dentistry and manure
"According to Sir Oliver Lodge's book 'Raymond', the spirit world is inhabited by spirit beings who have flesh but do not bleed. They wear tweed clothes, drink whiskey and have manure piles."DD
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scarredforlife
"Jehovah's Witnesses are the Happiest People on Earth" That one used to really puzzle me even as a child. I didn't see it. You'd be at an assembly and everybody would be sitting around miserable.
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DuvanMuvan
Lol I love the ones about demons and stuff.
Im not sure if it was originally from a publication but I remember a brother on the platform mentioned an angel that was apparently "roving about mid-heaven" delivering new light to the gb from god. I wasn't even doubting the religion at the time but I had to stop myself from laughing when I heard it
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millie210
Heres one:
"If you "think" you want to partake of the emblems maybe you just need to take medication..."
this was in a study article, sorry dont remember which one.
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Zoos
* * * Letter fom Governing Body, Yearbook, 2009 * * *
We want to assure you that you are always in our thoughts and prayers and that we love you very much. May Jehovah pour out upon you his rich blessings.
Your brothers,
Governing Body of Jehovah’s Witnesses -
fedup
all the stories with Andre
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Vidiot
Is it just me, or is this "funniest WT quote" thread seem be turning into a "most ridiculous WT quote" or "weirdest WT quote" thread?
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Magwitch
I like the elder letter that stated that sisters cannot help bind their husbands elder book.
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DuvanMuvan
Well vidiot i got a few good laughs and that's more than the wt have ever given me