Post the funniest WTBTS quote you can think of

by DuvanMuvan 33 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • nolongerconfused
    nolongerconfused

    "Let's go do some street work"

  • nolongerconfused
    nolongerconfused

    "Come back to Jehovah" lol

  • Vidiot
    Vidiot

    "Masturbation can lead to homosexuality."

  • androb31
    androb31

    *** w83 6/15 31 An Excellent Education *** An Excellent Education

    Would you like to grow in knowledge, obtaining an education of even much greater value than can be received in any college? You can do so by reading regularly this magazine and its companion, Awake! Not only will these journals help you to keep up with world events but they will also help you to see how these events fulfill the Bible prophecies regarding the time of the end of this entire system of things. Yes, regularly reading these publications not only will improve your knowledge of secular matters but will also provide you with knowledge that will put you in line to live forever in Gods righteous new system.John 17:3; 2 Peter 3:13.

    "Many times people honestly mistake me for a college graduate, and when I confess that I have never darkened the doors of a college, they are surprised. But I say: No, I am only an avid reader of the Watchtower and Awake! journals." (Awake! November 8, 1994 page 32 "What a Plethora of Knowledge!")

  • nancy drew
    nancy drew

    I've got to start my time

    i just started a bible study

    I've got a return visit on the other side of town too many cars they probably have company let's stop at that garage sale and leave a tract

    Let's get some coffee

  • androb31
    androb31

    The "truth" as understood by the faithful & discreet slave.

    it 'behooves' us brothurrrrrs............

    "It is the best way of life"

    "the pure language"

    "the Friends"

    "our rich spiritual heritage".

    "we just had meat in due season..."

    "Jehovah's Happy People"

    "Jehovah's smile of approval"

    "safe under Jehovah's umbrella"

  • diana netherton
    diana netherton

    We are the most tolerant people in the world......

    Yeah, right!

  • keyser soze
    keyser soze

    "Reading the WT and Awake magazines is better than a college education"

  • tornapart
    tornapart

    'The Finished Mystery' page 85 interpreting the Leviathan from the book of Job 41:1-6:-

    “Thou wilt lengthen out leviathan [the locomotive] with a hook [automatic coupler] or with a snare [coupling-pin] which thou wilt cause his tongue [coupling link] to drop down. Wilt thou not place a ring [piston] in his nostrils [cylinders] or pierce through his cheeks [piston-ends] with a staff [piston rod]? Will he make repeated supplications unto thee [to get off the track]? Or will he utter soft tones unto thee [when he screeches with the whistle]?… Wilt thou play with him as with a bird [make him whistle at will]? Or wilt thou bind [enslave] him for thy maidens [so that you can take them to a picnic or convention]? Companies [of stockholders] will feast upon him [his earnings] … ”

  • tornapart
    tornapart

    sorry, double post

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