I apologize for the strangeness of my topics of late. Im in antight spot. I havent been to a meeting for over a month...wife is sick again and wants me to attend but i am having the most difficilt time getting motivated to go...i mean every molecule in my body wants to stay home..but ive got an elder friend texting to ask if we are going and another asking for our service reports....grrr. What to do? What to do?
Update on my fade
by Jon Preston 12 Replies latest jw experiences
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Separation of Powers
Ignore requests.
Get occupied in something else.
Does your wife have non witness family?
Does she have any outside interests?
Distraction is the key.
Just like when you were in...The ORG keeps you distracted from the fact that the end hasn't come and may never come with the constant meetings, service, hall cleanings, etc.
Do the same in reverse
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stillin
I kindly asked our group overseer elder to not ask for my time for a while. I have to work out some things in my head and the pressure of mandatory service doesn't feel right. I want to be motivated from the heart. They appreciate your honesty and pretty much leave you alone.
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StephaneLaliberte
Say yes! Then don't show up. while he's at the meeting around 8:45, text the following :
"Sorry bro, I dressed up and everything. As I was ready by 6:30, I thought I could take a power nap til 7pm, but I woke up at 8:30!!! I guess I needed the sleep... work has been so stressful lately. Ahhh well. I undressed and went straight to bed."
See? Oh I know it is lying, but they, as a group, are threathening you with, so, it is strategic spiritual warefare. Fair and square. :)
May Jah bless your efforts toward freedom.
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LisaRose
Practice saying no.
No, sorry, can't make it this week. Do my give any further explanation. Repeat as needed.
The only authority anyone in this religion has is what you give them.
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Bob_NC
I am sorry to hear it Jon. Your post serves to remind me how oppressive the Org is. I have been out for 13 years and now the thought of a religious group pressuring me to do something, anything, feels so ridiculous.
As strange as it will feel to do it, I suggest LisaRose's advice. Keep it simple. "No, no thanks." Volunteer nothing else. You are not obligated to explain yourself. Why aren't you coming to the meetings? "Thank you for the reminder. When I decide to come to the meeting I wil be there."
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AlphaMan
Ignore any request or inquires.
If you must reply, say no....I do not feel like going or been too busy with providing for my family to go.
If you feel you need to comply with a request for FS hours.....lie about hours on the time slip.
if you get cornered to give answers.....tell them you are busy providing for your family. If they can loan you $10,000 interest free you can possibly cut back on the extra work and make a few meetings.
Ask for money and they will never bother you again.
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OnTheWayOut
The fade is not an easy path. Sooner or later, you have to be noticed, or rather "notably missing."
Even if you went to that one meeting, someone will miss you at the next one. Those elders are always asking for recruiting time. Sooner or later, you have to get to the point of having no recruiting time or ignoring that elder's calls or texts or just telling them "I am fine, I will see you when I see you" and then not seeing them at all.
Good luck. If you need to drop off the wife at the hall and come back for her, maybe that will help the elders understand you don't want to be there.
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snare&racket
Spend a few days deciding what you want in life and how you are going to get it. If that involves being a JW then let it be so, if it involves leaving then you know how to go about it smartly.
I sense indesicion in your question. We have ALL been there matey, we all had reasons to keep going despite knowing the Oz behind the curtain was more wanker than wizard, some of us have left, some have stayed for family.
Make your desicion and then live by it. I did exactly that, it felt great.
snare x
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whathappened
Hang in there and be true to yourself. If you do something you really don't want to do it is not healthy for you. Why are you punishing yourself? The JWs are the ones who are wrong!