Was There Anything A JW Said That Made You Raise Your Eyebrows?

by minimus 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • besty
    besty

    "raise your eyebrows and i'll give you 10 dollah"

    so i did.

  • Phizzy
    Phizzy

    How you gonna get dem back down now ?

  • minimus
    minimus

    There was the elder who confessed to the whole room of elders at elder school that he was a chronic masturbator.

  • Splash
    Splash

    When a MS asked why he was constantly overlooked for appointment as an elder he was told "because of your beard".
    He said "But..... I don't have a beard?!?!"
    The elder told him "Yes you do, you have a LIP BEARD!"

    So a moustache is now a 'lip beard' in this particular congregation.

    (raises eyebrows (eye beards?), rolls eyes, slaps forehead and shakes head)

    Splash

  • DuvanMuvan
    DuvanMuvan

    Splash that was the funniest thng I've ever read

  • AlphaMan
    AlphaMan

    That's funny. Lip beards, eye beards.....what a friggin' cult.

  • SAHS
    SAHS

    When they always say at a JW wedding that “the bride and groom have requested that there be no throwing of any rice or confetti,” it always bothers me because, for starters, it’s really dishonest because I’m sure no bride or groom actually passes on such a specific request – in reality it’s a standard announcement to be made at all JW weddings just because throwing rice or confetti would be considered to be one of the zillion things from “false religion” (I guess they don’t care about the wedding rings!) – and secondly, because it’s yet another example of how profoundly legalistic and petty the WTS is about everything.

    It’s all the contrived and controlling rules about all the little things that get me, such as clinking glasses or proposing a toast being considered a kind of crime in JW land. And, of course, if you were to go outside the grounds during the noon break at a district convention to have lunch in a restaurant, or even if you were to just buy a hotdog from a vending stand that was on the convention grounds, you would be pretty well considered to have sinned against the holy spirit. (And don’t get me started about beards and birthdays.)

    Actually, all that silly corporate totalitarian stuff does affect my eyebrows – but it makes them cross downwards, not raise up. The only thing it raises is my temperature under the collar!

  • fulltimestudent
    fulltimestudent

    Yup! - One sticks in my mind.

    A newly appointed MS, in a talk, claiming that trade discounts in building supply stores was a sign of the time of the end.

    I asked him later how he made that connection? He told me, that wickedness was part of the sign, and trade discounts discriminated against retail buyers, and this was wicked, so ergo- its part of the sign of the end.

    Of course, why didn't I see that !!!!

  • designs
    designs

    minimus- We had an assistant overseer in the first KH I attended back in the early 60s who was like that. I remember being stunned and shocked at his public use of "N".

  • LisaRose
    LisaRose

    A dimwit sister I knew was convinced the government was spying on us through our TV's. This was in the eighties, before computers, where that would even be theoretically possible. I guess she made sure not to walk through the living room in her under wear.

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