Ok let's go through this
Firstly Queenie - I knew there was something strong under that personality of yours - Thanks for sharing - yup I stayed single for fifteen years after my divorce. Finally met a man worth being with. :)
Joy - always good to see you around (((HUGS)))
One - yes they do seem like nice guys - I made sure no one saw what this one was really like and after I left the women in the cong could not wait to beat his door down.
I agree too that a lot of stuff goes on the other way too. Men are not the only abusers. I have met a few real nasty women in my time and felt sorry for the men who were just as trapped - if not more so - than I was
Nathan - thanks - I have considered it and will contanct Bill when I am ready - my story is already on my web site and on Freeminds
Leslie = as an abuse counselor now I can better understand the toll this takes on women and the family. I am free and my daughters are free of this misogynist organization.
Leander - My point exactly when it comes to this so-called spirit-begotten org. I used to hate it when they said God would take care of it in his own time and I should be patient. No one on this earth who goes through a relationship like this should have patience for it to be dealt with. God helps those who help themselves
Rekless - excellent advice - an exactly what women (and men) who are being abused need to do to get out of their abusive relationships - thanks
oreilly oreilly oreilly - what do do with your comments
-----------------
With all due respect LadyLee but I'm not buying this rape thing.
I was raped once by someone. That man was much older bigger and stronger then me. I never would have put myself in a situation for that to happen again.
---------------------------
First I am sad that you even had to experience this once. Good for you that it has never happened again. In my mind once is too much.
--------------------------
Now your saying that this man raped you not once or twice but two times a week for 10 YEARS!
--------------------------
No it was the second wife that stuck it out for ten years - I stayed for fifteen. And Yes that is what I am saying
--------------------------
When I was married if I didn't want sex or my partner didn't want sex we simply said no. But I am sure there were times we had sex when one didn't want it but we didn't call it rape.
--------------------------
I am glad you have a man that treats you with respect. I didn't. He was in this for himself. He had no consideration for me. He didn't even have any consideration for our unborn child! How does a woman even begin to want to have sex with a man like that? What else would you call it? How long would it take for you to want to stop having sex if your husband didn't care how you felt, whether you were sick? or in pain? on medication? or just tired? How long would you want to have sex with him if as soon as he was finished he got up and walked away and left you lying there exposed, cold and alone. How long would you want sex with him when he would hurt you and not stop if you cried? What would you call this?
I am remarried to a wonderful man who does not force me to have sex. I have learned to enjoy it and yes there is a difference between doing it when you are not in the mood but want to please your partner and someone taking what he wants and then walking away.
-----------------------
I am not doubting that your ex was an asshole, or control freak or just a wicked person. But volentarily having sex with your mate two times a week for 10 years then calling all those times rape, come on.
-----------------------
How voluntary does any of the above sound to you? Submission is not voluntary. I had a husband who used the power of God to force his will on me. I had the elders backing him up. I had my mother telling me I could not come home and had to stay with my husband. Leaving meant losing my family, friends, religion and God. Forced sex was the only thing I ever knew - from the time I was 8 years old until I was 35. My father, step-father, uncles, friends of the family, neighbors, strangers - all men taught me that sex was a man's perogative and a woman's duty. It really is amazing I want anything to do with them at all.
YES I call it rape
When you lie there feeling dirty.
When he gets up immediately after to clean himself and then to go study his Bible some more
When I am sick or in pain.
When I just am not in the mood
When the thought of him touching me makes my stomach turn over.
When it took ten years to even be in the same room with him without wanting to throw up
When you believe you have no choice
When there is no where else to go
Sadly this is the reality for far too many women. As truman points out 2 times a week is pretty conservative for this kind of abuse. I know that most women have a much more difficult time and what Truman reports is actually pretty close to the norm for these men. Gosh I wonder if he wasn't at me that much because he was so busy studying and going out in service and counseling other JWs on how to be good "Christians".
With ya in a minute Truman
Aspire to inspire before you expire
