Don't tell me that I am a priority in your life

by KariOtt 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • Oubliette
    Oubliette

    Kari, Happy Belated Valentine's Day!

  • LisaRose
    LisaRose

    I think what I said came out wrong, it's not about manipulation, but just about being honest about your needs. If you don't tell your husband that you want something, how is he supposed to know? Men are not mind readers, sometimes they need things so spelled out. You told him about the shirt, and he got it, so that worked. If you are sad because you didn't get flowers, don't you think he would rather know that's what you expect?

    My husband and I have been married 14 years, it's not like I hand him a list of demands, it's more that I am very grateful when he does something I like, like get flowers. I thank him and comment on how lovely they are. He likes that, so he is more inclined to do it again. It works both ways, one Valentine's day I made him a lobster dinner, he loved it so much he bragged about it at work. It has become a tradition. I willingly do it because he shows gratitude and that makes me feel good.

  • dog is god
    dog is god

    JWs are cheap asses.

  • Crazyguy
    Crazyguy

    Jesus taught LOve and he said it was all about love, So how is it loving to Not celebrate Valentine's Day??

  • KariOtt
    KariOtt

    Lisa Rose.... when I told him it upset me that he keeps buying flowers for everyone except me and next time he gets flowers I would like some. Not long after that conversation I had a breakdown and was in a psych hosiptal. While I was there he went on the gift spree for his kids and grandkids. It was then that he sent flowers to his 1st wife. When he brought me cloths to the hosiptal he also included a watchtower. No flowers. Sorry that I misinterupted your first reply.I was shocked that he got me the jersey.

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    "One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do.

    Two can be as bad as one, it's the loneliest number since number one. "

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5ab8BOu4LE

  • JWdaughter
    JWdaughter

    Kari, he has no business buying exwife/mother of his kids any gift.I would throw a bloody fit about that! I'm pretty easy going about lot of unimportant things, but seriously, that is fan hitting kind of event if you ask me. Specially when you a re in the hospital and getting nothing! He is treating you like that and you are accepting it outwardly and killing yourself inwardly. That is not healthy at all. Committment by you has nothing to do with this. You have to protect yourself from emotional neglect and abuse.

    I hope you choose to do so. He isn't changing. So you need to or you will wither up and die.

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    If I was in your shoes. If I was in your shoes I'd think about shaking the sugar tree.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nds76SNc13M

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    This relationship is toxic and I can hardly watch. It's like witnessing the demolition of a buillding in slow motion. And you are too precious for me to stand around and watch you implode. Whatever cage you have put yourself in, a false sense of commitment or whatever it is, I hope you will have the courage one day to step out of it.

    I've met other women who have done it; surprised my socks off.

    I am happy that you are exploring your online college options.

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    Meanwhile, try giving the sugar tree a good shaking.

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