A JW sitcom?

by Island Man 24 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • DATA-DOG
    DATA-DOG

    Maybe the person who did "Apostagirl" would do a cartoon series. We need a name, of course.. Then we need memorable and humorous JW names.

    Let's look in on our family preparing for field service.. [ I called the husband Roger, but we can change that..] My writing below is kind of a joke, but a real show could be funny. I imagine a funny scene like on " The Office." The Dubs are being crazy and their neighbors look to the camera like, " WTH???" I am laughing just thinking about it!!

    Scene #1

    Husband: Good Morning capable wife! ( smooch, smooch, a slight pat on her oversized bottom ) I reall enjoyed our approved sexual relations last evening. It was so refreshing, and in it's proper place.

    Wife: Yes Lord. I too enjoyed our Governing Body approved sexual relations within the bond of the marital arrangement. ( doe-eyed )

    H: Now, now, none of that this morning. It's our day that we set aside for field service. Where is the Theocratic Laptop?

    W: My Lord, it is in public view of the entire household as you well know.

    H: Ahhh, so it is. Hmmm. Let's see...yes. JW.ORG!! Ha!! Literature,....new..err..umm.dowloads. Ahah! Here we go wife of my youth! I found the new tractazines, ready to be printed and folded for our day that we set aside for field service!

    W: What a provision from Jehovah! The Faithful Slave is so loving! They truly provide food at the proper time. They are also very aware of the modern world in which we live. See Lord, how they have made the provision for us to print our own literature from home for our personal ministry that we engage in of our own free will, without any legal ties to the WTBTS!! Jehovah provides..

    H: He certainly does my charming moutain goat. ( getting frisky..)

    W: My LORD!! Remember that it is our day that we set aside for field service! ( smiling..)

    H: Yes my beautiful Hind, it's just that sometimes I get so sexually exited when I am with you. I know that is wrong on our day that we set aside for field service. Please forgive me. Let's call Brother Zealous later. We need an encouraging visit to curb our sexual appetites. Sweetie, is breakfast almost ready. You know I have a substantial appetite the morning after our approved love-making.

    W: Forgive me Lord. I try to be a capable wife, but..but..( tears begin to fall as she turns away)

    H: ( puzzled ) What can be the matter my tower-breasted love?! What is upsetting you so on the day that we set aside for field service?

    W: Well..( stiffling a sob ) With the new laptop, printer, and ink that we purchased, along with our weekly offering to Jehovah via PAYPAL, we did not have enough money left over for groceries. With so many of our Brothers in the Janitorial field, the job market is saturated. I know you wash windows on the side, but we are just a bit short on funds. My Ebayhead-covering business has not fared well either.

    H: .....WHAT?

    W: Well, we filled out our application for Special Full-time Minister of personal ministries not affiliated legally with the WTBTS application last month. We vowed to contribute towards the " Special Fund for the maintenance of the JW.ORG virtual printery." How else could we have a website that allows us to print our current literature to print off ourselves at our own expense, on the day that we set aside for feild service? Or our Theocratic laptop and printer, linked to JW.ORG 24/7?

    H: WTH!!! I (*^)%^%@!!! Those M%(%@#)(?!!! Horse S%$@, Monkey $&^%%@!! I'll Kill those &$@)(*!! AHHHHHHRERRGGG!!!!! Oh!, Oh!..I am so sorry! Oh my word!! I don't know what came over me.. Forgive me, please. It was hunger, a weakness of the flesh.. Oh dear GB! Please forgive me... ( head hanging with shame..)

    W: It's alright dear. I am hungry too. Sister Meek just told me an encouraging anecdote. When they were hungry, they did NOT forsake their day set aside for field service! They went anyway. Brother Meek could not find his approved GB issued service binder, so he used his older bag....

    H: ( interrupting ) Thank goodness the GB made the provision of using an older bag in emergencies..

    W: ( annoyed ) Ahhh... Yes! Thank the GB! So Brother Meek finds his service bag from 1986 in the garage! Guess what else!

    H: What?!?

    W: He found an entire roll of food tickets!! Remember the ones we would use for hogies and danishes and OJ?

    H: I liked mine slushy!

    W: SHUT UP, ROGER!! I am telling a %^(!@$ story!! SHUT UP!!!!

    H: please continue...

    W: Jesus....ANYWAYS, like I was saying... They found some food tickets and they did not go hungry that day. Jehovah blinded the minds of the worldy cashiers at the supermarket. They thought the tickets were food stamps! Brother and Sister Meek were able to eat breakfast! All because they did not forsake the day that they set aside for field service!

    H: GB, be praised!!! What an uplifting anecdotal experience upon which I will base my future decisions!! Wake the children! Start the Kingdom Melodies! It's time to print and fold!!!

    W: YAY!!! ( clapping )

    H: WT*!#%$#%!!!! WE ARE OUT OF INK!!!!!!!!!

    ( To be continued....)

  • dazed but not confused
    dazed but not confused

    The creators of The Office would make a good sitcom. "The makers of The Office brings you... The Cult"

  • BluesBrother
    BluesBrother

    I guess it would still be a case of "The Truth" being stranger than fiction !

    Mind you , the LDS Mormon Church sufferred the indignity of the series "Big Love" that ran for several seasons.. although that centered on the fringe mormon groups.

    NB What would WTS Legal Dept make of it ?

  • Gayle
    Gayle

    This former JW, famous comedian, and his brothers speak of the humor of their mother, non-JW,, helping them to see the reality of JW life.

    http://blogs.westword.com/showandtell/2013/09/keenen_ivory_wayans.php

    wonder if they could help with some ideas??

  • Island Man
    Island Man

    DATA-DOG, you have me in stitches! j dubb I didn't mean to put 7. I actually meant to put "several" meaning 3 or 4 at most. As for the name it could be TTATT with the letters forming a logo that resembles the Watchtower logo.

  • Island Man
    Island Man

    How about this: The show can be named after a family like has been done with "The Simpsons" and "The Flintstones". The name of the family can be "The Jaydubs". LOL. To get the different storylines, we can have one family member on BOE, one at Bethel, one an apostate, etc. Occassionally there can be a GB meeting where they discuss new policies etc and this gets worked into the story as it affects the daily lives and worship of the family and body of elders on which one of them serves.

    "NB What would WTS Legal Dept make of it?"

    Of course, there will be no direct reference to "Jehovah's Witnesses" or "Watchtower Bible and Tract Society". But there will be very eerie similarities so that one can figure out who is being parodied. Maybe the religion can be called "Jehovah's Testifiers" and the org, "Watch The Bible and Track Society Inc" - an organization which watches the bible and tracks society to see how the bible's message is having fulfillment today and printing this valuable information in two monthly magazines - "The Watcher" and its companion "Aware!". LOL There will also be a disclaimer about "any likeness of the characters and stories depicted to any real persons and events are purely co-incidental...."

  • Tiktaalik
    Tiktaalik

    Nice one, Data Dog. You got me chuckling.

  • Island Man
    Island Man

    Data-dog, in the next scene Hubby sends the wife to the local stationary store to buy ink. While in the store, she sees an apostate and has a panic attack starts getting all nervous, worried if he will approach her and try to speak with her and cause a scene. She is desperate to get out of there as quickly as possible so she asks a member of staff for assistance and the person directs her to the apostate because he is the one assigned to the ink section.

    She desperately and humorously tries to disguise herself so the apostate won't recognize her. Then she frightfully approaches and speaks to him in very stilted phrases saying no more than is necessary. This apostate shows her some ink catridges telling her the prices: "This one is 19.14, this one is 6.07. No, wait. . . that's wrong. That should be 5.87."

    At this she is convinced that he recognizes her and is trying to subtely plant seeds of doubt in her mind so she says a silent prayer to Jehovah then superstitiously starts humming a kingdom melody as if that will protect her from the evil, mentally diseased apostate. But the apostate then recognizes the tune and realizes he's speaking with someone familiar with JWs . . .

  • A.proclaimer
    A.proclaimer

    This could work, but I see it more as short skits on the internet like on a YouTube channel. There's a lot of people that do things like that nowadays with high looking productions, and it's not difficult to make. If it were a tv show, a group of different skits all put together (field service, elders meeting, family worship, etc.), or a mockumentaday style filmed like Modern Family or the Office would do. I'd make it the characters a JW family with the dad as an elder and have a comedic family friend from the congregation. Then they could come across different experiences that would be made funny, like one of the kids explaining how he had to resist the delicious looking birthday day cake at school, or how another kid competes with the family friend on who will place the most Assembly invitations at field service. Then you can see them stuffing the invitations in people's mailboxes and running door to door. I'm liking this idea.

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Dont forget the closet homosexual, trying his darndest to suppress his nature and go/be straight/hetero. Lots of drama potential, there.

    S

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