by d 18 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
Depends on what you consider "out of your league." Women don't place as much importance on looks as us guys do. It's more about personality and "status" to them. Don't let them try to convince you otherwise. And if you have any doubt about personality and want to see the "status" thing in action, just visit any country outside your own that is less wealthy than yours and watch the girls' reaction to you. This is the ugly truth to us guys.
At least it's not as bad as the ugly truth for girls: :)
LOLOLOLOL.
Sorry.
You are normal.
I, on the other hand, needed help of a dating service, and ended up marrying my first match. I haven't a clue how to handle a random date.
Perhaps the person you are with is as nervous as you.
I agree with what others have posted about looks, it's not the thing most women consider most important, unless you at a bar trying to pick up girls. It is challenging when you are more introverted, but that gets better as you get older usually. Practice in front of a mirror or a friend unroll you have a few stock answers that come automatically. You might try being honest, say you are a bit nervous because she is so pretty, compliments do work if they are honest and not over the top.
I;ve witnessed girls (and I don't mean women) be utterly wretched to nice men. First, a date is a date. No one is asking for marriage and 15 children. I've had to force myself to not intervene. I hope such girls face their karma.
I thought men had it easy in the dating game. Now that rules have changed, I've had to place myself in the role of asking a man out. Perhaps if I had been raised that way, I could do so. Now I view men as human. The Witnesses don't encourage dating. Dating was evil. Marriage was not good.
Some men take dating too seriously. It is a social skill. It takes a while to know someone well enough to date seriously.
College was about hookups. Law school and now were about social manners. I much preferred a film and dinner. Ballet tickets and meal.
I don't know anyone is truly comfortable. You do it b/c those are the rules.
I get very nervous about going on dates, in case my girlfriend catches me
I Just need pratice.
Maybe join an online service to get practice. I always paid attention to what was in the news to have something to discuss. It helps if you have a neutral stance. A former Catholic nun told me to write a profile with a lot of detail. She wanted to marry someone who was very involved with the church and certain societies. She ran a general ad. Maybe she met two men who qualified. When she rewrote her profile, all the responders were Catholic zealots. It was a two hour trip to Philadelphia.
If you truly care for someone, you are going to be nervous no matter how much you practice. It is the human condition. I figure God, the Force, Thor made us miserable alone so we would risk the discomfort of a meeting. If you are nervous on a date, people have only had dates recently. People used to marry with contracts. The bride and groom did not even meet on their wedding dates. My friend's parents were Chinese. Their marriage was arranged. I saw no different in their relationship.
I think TV shows and fillms lead young people to believe it is all magic. My impression was that men found dating easy. Male friends in agony from dating opened my eyes. One trick I had was to plan something fun with a friend the next day. I had some bummer dates. While I was in law school, I attended a mixer uptown. He asked me how the room was sectioned. Did my roommate and I have a partition for privacy? He screwed himself asking that question. I told him it was inappropriate. I applied makeup which annoyed him. Sometimes during dinner, I realized he was no longer at the table. I called the waitress over to ask if I owed her any money b/c I would have to run to the dorm. They could hold my purse as collateral. She was so upset for me. I felt like doing a cartwheel. I knew the dorm would loan me money.
I notice that some men seem to have anger towards women. There are things you learn as you date rather than on the first date. So many men were so gallant and nice. I had a ballet subscription. Somehow I don't really think my dates were ballet freaks. It was a bit cruel what I did. If you wait too late, everything would sell out.
The edge of nerves can be nice. If you feel as though you are going to thow up, though, you need some intervention.
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