The yuk factor and others

jgnat

Will you share with me an interesting discussion on what morals we all may have in common? My recent reading has resulted in a fundamental shift in my worldview. It feels like my house of cards have reshuffled themselves yet again, and everything I see, hear and smell is put in a new context. I know I share this feeling with all of you as you exited a religion with a very particular set of views. The transition is shaky, it's exciting, and even sunshine has new color.

The particular moral I'd like to discuss on this thread is what I call the "yuk factor", or sanctity. Every culture has it, but the particulars of what they consider sacred or profane may be different.

Note how many words for this particular ingrained moral, when it's trespassed, is sensory. We have dirty, filthy, disgusting. Our immediate response is to put it away from us as quickly as possible.

It's pretty hard for us to have a conversation with a person very different than ourselves, if we perceive their practices as dirty, filthy or disgusting.

compound complex

Good morning, jgnat:

Such have been the thoughts crossing my mind and touching my heart of late.

When I hear of a couple living together without the so-called (by the WT) benefit of marriage, I say 'so what?' While I know first hand how many JWs (or, for that matter, other Christian fundamentalists) are grateful for strict guidelines on sexual conduct, this over-the-top nitpicking regarding who may associate with whom, may they hold hands, must they be chaperoned, etc., no longer dominates my thinking and conduct.

I was raised by a gentleman; I respect boundaries and know the meaning of propriety.

Blessings, dear jgnat.

CoCo

Miss.Fit

Incest is still taboo in most circles.

I am examining my reactions toward same sex public displays of affection.

Do you find that most of those words: dirty, fithy, disgusting ectn usually are applied to sexual or relationship attitudes?

jgnat

We also use these terms for "others" and are used as derogatories for any group we would like to marginalize. For instance, dirty, filthy Watchower Society for harbouring pedophiles. Jews in Nazi Germany, confined in substandard and overcrowded conditions, were accused of being carriers of Typhus. This was the excuse to "clean" those slums. Can you think of others?

jgnat

Heck, hubby has a deep aversion to anything Christendom as he was conditioned to believe it is corrupted.

mynameislame

If all parties are agreeable I say live and let live. Spent way to many years judging others only to find out I was completely wrong.

That doesn't mean that certain things wouldn't make me uncomforable if I had to watch.

One thing that I might judge someone for is being a capable adult while gaming the system. People who collect welfare or workmans comp when they are able to work come to mind. Even there it isn't a black and white issue, the goverment takes our money in taxes, why not get some back if you can.

jgnat

Lame, check out this article and see how it holds up under your philosophy of "live and let live".

http://m.psychologytoday.com/blog/animals-and-us/201106/having-your-dog-and-eating-it-too

humbled

I identify with the points raised on observing certain proprieties.

to quote Emily Post:"Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use(no matter who you love)."

I have no more reason to dwell on what the intimacies of the bedroom consist of between my gay friends than I do my heterosexual friends. That it has no appeal to me personally is beside the point.

But I do feel uncomfortable when a couple's intimate moments are set in front of me. They open their bedroom door, so to speak. Not sensitive awareness. Not proper. Whatever their orientation.

We are free to choose sensitive friends.

Miss.Fit

Other examples.....Interracial marriages or chidren, "heathens,pagan, infidals, worldly".

I have an irrational fear of crosses. Even knowing ttatt I can not bring myself to own or wear one.

steve2

I was raised by two fantastic parents, both JWs and both now deceased.

Looking back on my unbringing, they were relatively nonjudgemental folk - obviously within the constraints of the organization. My mother was an incredibly empathic woman who always said we do not know the private heartache people all around us may be going through and my father was an easy going man who had a very simple outlook on life. I mention this because their approach to life has had a huge impact on me as I have gotten older.

There are very few things that shock or cause me to feel disgust - although I draw the line at adding chilli to chocolate sauce. I remember in my younger years a couple started attending meetings in the kingdom hall and it soon became widely known in that small hall that the couple was "living in sin": THEY WERE NOT EVEN MARRIED!!!

They were newly interested ones. I heard that the presiding overseer (the arrangement before there were bodies of elders) took them aside and advised them to live apart if they wanted to continue studying and live together only once they were married. The couple fully complied and eventually came into the organization and were baptized.

Some time later, it transpired that the presiding overseer had been having an affair with a married woman in our congregation. The sense of betrayal was incredibly hard for many to bear. Now that presiding overseer's betrayal of trust disgusted me - indeed few things in life disgust me more than religious hypocrisy - but I try not to feel morally superior about it.

The yuk factor and others

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