Have your moral values changed drastically?

by voltaire 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • Xander
    Xander

    If you need to be emotionally detached from your current wife, get a divorce.

    You're probably still hung up on the JW teaching of 'divorce without fornication = sin'.

    It doesn't - sometimes marriages don't work out, and you just have to more on.

    Talk about it with your wife - make it clear that in short order she'd be scripturally free to remarry , and that you have no intention of coming back to the org, and if she refuses to get a divorce you'll oppose her religion/whatever.

    In most states, if both parties agree to a divorce, and the conditions of the divorce, there are just some forms to fill out and the whole thing is over (IE., no lawyer needs to get involved or anything, nice and cheap).

    You could always try and file for divorce on various grounds to force the issue - but I don't get the feeling you want to do that.

    Xander F
    (Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America - Ohio order)

    A fanatic is one who, upon losing sight of his goals, redoubles his efforts.
    --George Santayana

  • SPAZnik
    SPAZnik

    Mustang...i'm amazed you mentioned that...
    my mother (who is a dub) once told me
    that an elder outright told her that
    "it's only lying if it's to someone with the 'right' to know".

    Until you, i'd never heard that from anyone else.

    voltaire okay, so yer not just lonely, yer horny too.
    welcome to the club! i relate to your situation as i was married 5 years...my separation and divorce all took place within the year 2000. so i've been divorced for about a year and a half now. have gone through many "phases" sexually speaking. it's been quite the *ahem* ride. i guess all i can really say is, have lotsa fun and little guilt as you journey on and find what does or doesn't work for you!

    SPAZ

  • Sirona
    Sirona

    I had this problem after my divorce. I would say that you should wait until you feel that you can have sex with someone who *means* something to you. Then it will likely be the right time for you and your moral dilemmas. Have friendships and learn to deal with not having sex for a little while. When someone special is there, then you might consider it.

    I'm not saying this because I think casual sex is wrong, just because I think that sex immediately after a separation AND when feeling guilty and mixed up is fraught with dangers. You could end up sleeping with someone and hurting their feelings if you are only doing it because you're horny. On the other hand, you could sleep with someone and get involved, when they're just there for the nookie.

    Be sure. I spent a few months limping from one boyfriend to the next, and I slept with a couple of them before I realised that this isn't how I wanted to live my life. The loneliness got the better of me. Now I wish I had just stayed alone.

    Gladly, I'm settled with one person now. I hope you are OK. I know how hard it is.

    Sirona

    ** http://www.religioustolerance.org **

  • Sirona
    Sirona

    OH and from a spiritual standpoint, I personally think that its the feeling and respect you have for the person that matters, not a piece of paper or legal contract. Sex is special and should not be abused, IMO, but it is natural and should be enjoyed without guilt.

    ** http://www.religioustolerance.org **

  • mustang
    mustang

    SPAZnik,

    On "Theocratic Strategy" or "Theocratic War Strategy" :
    Check this historical discussion on Theocratic strategy. Others can be found. This is one of the little known "doctrines" of JW's. BTW, it would appear that the WTS teaches 'sociopathic behavior' by use of this theory.

    THE DOCTRINE OF "Theocratic War Strategy" ,
    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=13226&site=3#340474

    Other examples of 'obscure' WTS doctrines are:

    THE DOCTRINE OF CLERGY-LAITY DISTINCTION,
    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=14790&site=3

    THE DOCTRINE OF 'WHERE WILL YOU GO',
    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=14730&site=3
    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?site=3&id=15137&page=2

    THE DOCTRINE OF NEW LIGHT,
    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=16381&site=3

    THE DOCTRINE OF 'IMPERFECT MEN',
    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=11418&site=3

    THE DOCTRINE OF 'OVERZEALOUS BROTHERS',
    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=14841&site=3

    THE DOCTRINE OF JUDGING
    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=16494&site=3

    and that new 'up and comer'
    THE DOCTRINE OF 'HARBORING PRIVATE IDEAS'
    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=11974&site=3#146367

    Feel free to add your personal favorite.
    Mustang

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