Hi all!! I have been lurking here for about 3 months or so, and I guess I finally decided today to jump on in and join the board. I don’t want to make this post too long, but just to give you all a background……I was born in 1975 to a JW mother and non believing father. I have one younger brother. I DA’d myself in June 1998, after spending many months looking at websites, most notably Freeminds.org , and doing my own research on Watchtower doctrines. Prior to 1998 I had been inactive for part of 1996 and most of 1997. I live in NYC, I grew up in Mount Vernon, NY and had attended the Yonkers Spanish congregation (established in 1970) most of my youth, up until my baptism in 1988, and then the congregation split into two: Lincoln Park and Getty Square congregations. I remember all the hoopla about how the congregation is growing and how Jehovah’s blessing is ever present, blah blah. The “growth” was all about immigration into the area, that’s all. Folks who were already witnesses in their homelands just looked for the nearest hall and joined, usually bringing along with them an average of 6 children per couple, the aunts, uncles, cousins, sisters, brothers, etc. I think you all get the idea.
I remember two specific times when I said to myself “enough is enough”: the summer district assembly at Nassau Colliseum in 1996 and a time I was participating in field service shortly after the assembly. I somehow just woke up, so to speak, and looked around me and realized that at age 21 there was just no way I was going to spend the rest of my life living like this, sort of in a void. If any one here has been raised by one believing and one non-believing parent, I think you know kind of how that feels like---you just don’t belong anywhere. The more active JW’s didn’t treat me right, I had a constant feeling of being left out. Moreover, my father was severely injured in a construction accident when I was only 6 weeks old, therefore it was my mom who had to support the household and my dad stayed home. She took a night job when I was about 5, shortly after my brother was born, so I never knew about meetings other than on Sunday and field service until I was 10, when my mom quit her job and we all moved to Caracas, Venezuela.
It was there in Venezuela that I started participating more in field service and going to more meetings and more assemblies, often traveling very far away. Going back to my father, I mentioned that he was always a non-believer, however, there were many times when he studied (almost completing the “red book”) and sometimes he would halfway attend the meetings---leaving after the public talk, attending the assemblies only on Sunday, and to this day he still attends the Memorial every year. I think that some people are under the impression that having a non-believing parent grants you the best of both worlds—that you can have your cake and eat it too. Not in my case. My father is El Primo cheapo, the granddaddy of all cheapskates. Since he left all child rearing duties to my mother, despite her being exhausted from working so late into the night and having to look after my younger brother during the day, that meant no birthdays, no Christmas, no nothing. My father was ok with all that because he thought that holidays and birthdays were a greedy-capitalist American invention, that back in my homeland we never had so much, etc etc. My father grew up in Europe right after WWII, so he’s very used to going without. To this day he still thinks that a complete meal consists of potatoes, onions and olive oil—end of story.
I’m so sorry that this post is so long, I guess I’ll post more of my story bit by bit, rather than all at once. You all seem like a great group and I look forward to some great interactions! Enjoy your day!
What the head makes cloudy the heart makes very clear.