LisaRose - I don't think 4thgen should put up a white flag on this so readily. Her ex has instilled a phobia in her son which will restrict his freedom of action and his interaction with other kids. She needs to address it now otherwise who knows what other phobias he will instil.
Child intimidated into no sports activities- suggestions please
by 4thgen 28 Replies latest social family
-
-
LisaRose
Yes, I agree should address it, but if her ex refuses to back down what recourse does she have really? She can talk to the child and reason with him, giving a more balanced viewpoint, but if he still doesn't want to do sports, it would counter productive to force the issue.
-
LisaRose
Yes, I agree should address it, but if her ex refuses to back down what recourse does she have really? She can talk to the child and reason with him, giving a more balanced viewpoint, but if he still doesn't want to do sports, it would counter productive to force the issue.
-
Frazzled UBM
yes I agree best not to force the issue but she should try to fully explore what is going on generally when he is exposewd to her ex and address the phobia issue generally and aks questions to get him to think about it and develop critical thinking skills to deal with exposure to phobias.
-
4thgen
Dear Lisa & Frazzeled,
Cyber hugs to both of you. Thank you very much for posting. It helped to hear two different viewpoints. I will take both of your suggestions and will continue to explore his interests and cultive them.
My son and I fled an abusive situation. For years we have discussed in depth about physical & emotional abuse and tactics that my ex uses, along with how to cope with them. We have the ‘cycle of abuse’ on our fridge and have constant communication on the subject.
It wasn’t until I read your dialogue that I realized that the sports issue is still the same horse, but a different color. He’s continuing to use fear and intimidation to get his way, under the guise of spirituality. I was so busy trying to work around it, I didn’t see the connection!
Now is the time for me to address spiritual abuse. We will definitely expand our conversations further into fear and intimidation in relation to JW’s and his school activities. He is smart enough to make the connection. Using the Bible story book is an excellent idea. Thanks to all of you for caring enough to post. 4thgen
-
Frazzled UBM
Good luck 4thgen - I am sure you will be successful in getting your son to see the manipulation of fear by your ex. I feel for you and your son but feel sure you will protect him from the detrimental influence of the WBTS being channellled through your ex. I can see you have the tools to do this. Take care
-
LilieKat
God gives people different personalities. I did not do sports as a kid but I stayed out of trouble. I think you should get your kid interested in taking care of animals after school. Kids should volunteer at animal shelters or places where animals need people to help wash them, and play with them. Kids learn should be taught to be kind, and not malicious at a young age. Sports alone will not stop children or teens from being bad.
-
Band on the Run
I was never sports crazy. Yes, I would cheer my heart out for the Yankees. Yeshivas don't encourage sports, either, and the kids look weird. There is a pallor to the face. How can sports hurt worship? What is sad is that I see kids stay home rather than going outside and playing with the entire neighborhood. It is great socialization.
-
villagegirl
Can you get him involved in a non-weekend sports group ?
Or one that will allow him to miss every other weekend ?
I am thinking of some Community Centre activity. Are you Canadian?
If you live in Vancouver there are Community Centre basketball indoor courts
for kids, and all kinds of activities involving, hiking, hockey, swimming, ping-pong,
and Dragon Boat Paddling groups on False Creek, get creative and find an activity
he likes, may be he would prefer, Art classes and Arts Umbrella ? Or Dance classes ?
or to be involved in Little Theatre and be in a stage production ? If you have custody
don't let this man poison his mind with fear. Get involved yourself, don't just stop
being a witness, start being something else in an active sense. The main scare tactic
the WT uses is " There's nothing out there" " You will be miserable and alone"
and if you are afraid to get involved and islolate yourself, that will come true, people
leave in body only and still retain fear of Boy Scouts, Christmas, Easter, Birthdays,
going to any other Church or joining some group, there is a multitude of activities
and organizations doing positive and helpful things and just enjoying the great outdoors,
that you can get involved in and set the example.