The eldaaaars again!!

ILoveTTATT

After two months of not coming to my house, today about two hours ago, one of the elders that came two months ago came to my house. He was in serve-us with other brothers from the Spanish cong and came into my house with a friend of mine (not another elder). He said he wanted to talk to me, and he said it in front of my mom and my dad (both were there).

What was interesting is that it seems like it will be a one-on-one for half-hour. When he asked me for a convenient location, I said in a coffee shop. I was thinking he was going to say no, but he said yes...

Now isn't that weird? Don't they usually meet in a more private place?

What should I do? Evade like the other time? Meet him for "coffee"?

I am almost three months into my new job... maybe on Monday I can beg to be transferred to the other city asap... should I tell my boss that it really means my family's welfare?

Please advise!! =S

Oh Gawd

Three choices..

1. Keep running like a coward and don't meet

2. Just admit to yourself that you don't deserve a better life because you're not mature enough to confront the issue and as such you're better off being part of a cult because the real world isn't for you.

3. Meet him but take total control of the conversation and do all the talking and just lay it out in no uncertain terms that you have zero interest in being a JW and that he's wasting his time persuing you. Then thank him for coming, pay the tab, and leave.

losingit

Nahhhhh I wouldn't listen to Oh Gawd

If you don't want to talk, then don't. Stand him up and blame it on work. What's there to think about? And if he asks your parents, you tell them both the same story-- WORK.

Remember, you don't owe them anything.

Oh Gawd

Sorry, but to me, the lie, lie, lie approach is the single worst solution I can think of. By doing so one remains the effect and not the cause. That is not a reciepe for success in any area of life. That said, I do understand not everyone is as strong willed as I am. That's a real shame. I've just been lucky enough I guess to always believe that the biggest fear in life is not living the life I want on my terms. It makes doing those things I need to do to insure that outcome rather simple. I find it also makes life less complicated which in turn makes it easier to get where I'm going. Don't have much time for pussy footing around.

Witness My Fury

They arrange a meet with you and you dont know what it's about or who exactly will be meeting with you?

Thy dont charge you $$$s to ask questions you know.

When you get sales calls from strangers on the phone are you the type who says OK and cant get yourself off the phone until you've bought something from them? If you aren't then you give a good impersonation of one.

losingit

I see your position about lying, Oh Gawd. So maybe he doesn't say that he's at work. Maybe he can just say, I don't want to meet after all. But here's the thing-- you have the privilege of NOT being a jw and dealing with a family of jws who are basically a sack of liars (I'm summarizing your first post on jwn). That said, ILTTATT is not in that position. He's trying to keep his family together. Idk why he agreed to meet in the first place. Standard procedure should be evade, evade, evade . Anyways, he didn't do that. But he can still choose to evade, evade, evade. I don't think he's prepared to deal with losing his family.

BackSlider

You have to cancel that meet up, their only goal is to make you a witness or make you an ex-witness. Both of those options are unacceptable in my eyes. They have no power over you and you should keep it that way, find a way to get out of it with the most integrity possible.

Just my opinion

BackSlider

ruderedhead

Why can't you just send him a text message saying you're sorry, you won't be able to meet him after all? No explanation is needed. If you avoid/ignore them, eventually most will taper off and eventually leave you alone.

LogCon

Tell him your time is valuable and you charge $ 30.00 per hour with a 4 hour minimum.

ABibleStudent

Hi ILoveTTATT, About an hour before your scheduled meeting text him that you will not be meeting him at the coffee shop, please do not make unannounced calls where you live, and you will contact him when and where is a good time to meet in the future.

On Monday talk with your boss about what you need to do to advance in the organization. DO NOT tell him about your personal problems. You want to advance in the organization and are willing to relocate and take on more assignments if that will help you advance. The more you work the less time you have to talk with elders.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

P.S. - I agree with Oh Gawd that lying is not a good choice, but do not agree with his options.

The eldaaaars again!!

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