I am just sitting at home, thinking about how crazy I am. I am thinking about how crazy everyone I know is. So the wife reads the book called, 'Silver Linings Playbook', awhile back. It's just the "best" book EVER! I am sure that JWs were posting it all over their GD instagram and pintrest virtual life/self help network thing that they do, instead of living a real life.
THEN comes the movie, which I told my wife to watch. OHH?? [ look of shock and horror!!] " THAT movie is rated "R"!!!" she says. I think , "WTF??!!, YOU JUST READ THE BOOK!!!" So......, I watched the movie this morning and I loved it. I realized that I am crazy and probably need meds, but so is everyone else and I don't give a shit. I am not taking anything. Oh, yeah, I am supposed to be anointed too, that's what I told my wife last year. I guess anointed partakers say "shit" and also say "WTF" 100 times a day, cause that's what I do. She was devestated when I told her. She cried, I cried. WHY?? It's simple. We are both nucking futs. Everyone is. My whole family is nucking futs! My whole congregation is nucking futs. EVERY SINGLE JW is nucking futs, ESPECIALLY YOU PEOPLE READING THIS WHO THINK EVERYONE IS NUCKING FUTS BUT YOU. So there, you self-righteous douche, yeah YOU. Meet at the swing set if you think your bad-ass enough to take me down. Nevermind, YOU are a nutter and can't help but be a huge douche-bag.
Let's explore this topic of "anointed" for just a bit, shall we? So I was raised a JW, but never fit in. Something was always off. I was always taught that it was me. I am broken. I am sinful. I am nor good enough. I am flawed. I might get life, but I might not. I need to do more, give more, be more!! HOW CAN I BE MORE THAN ME? Anyway, after years of a non-stop internal monologue [ believe me I wish it would stop ] I KNEW that something was wrong with the religion of my birth. [ Side-note here... Let's call JWism what it is, an ism. It aint the TRUTH, because you can't call anything "the truth" that isn't true.] Moving on. SO one day in the shower, it hits me. I AM SUPPOSED TO BE PARTAKING.
Now it's all so clear! With my epiphany, comes a urgent desire to rid the JW community of false teachings. I WILL SAVE THE SHEEP!! I WILL TAKE UP THE CAUSE OF THE DOWN-HEARTED!! I WILL LOSE MY MICROPHONE PRIVILIGES!!! LOL!!! [ Imagine that laugh as really maniacal, with a hint of sadness, you like a real crazy person laughs to keep from sobbing] So WOW!! What a GIGANTIC BURDEN for someone to carry!! Yet, carry on I must! HA,HA,hahaha, ha.... CRAZY, right? Out of the countless BILLIONS, WITH A B, that have ever lived on this planet, I, DATA-DOG, will save them all!! [ I am sure that sentence violated some rules, sorry.] What a crazy F'd up thing to think.
If you watched the movie I mentioned, or read the book, just think for a moment. The protagonist has issues, but he is no more, or less crazy than ANYONE else in that story. They are ALL crazy. The Dad places an insane amount of pressure upon his son to perform and not be a loser. My God, he tells the kid he can repair the bad juju of his favorite foot-ball [ That's AMERICAN foot-ball ] team!! The dad is insane and superstitious, and places this GIGANTIC buden on his son, AND THEN expects him to not break under this burden. THAT is insane! Imagine that feeling 24/7 and you can imagine what believing that you are anointed feels like. Let me clarify that. Imagine what being a JW who KNOWS TTATT, and who believes that they are "anointed" feels like. There is a HUGE difference between loyal JW sheeple and awakened JWs, a HUGE difference. In fact, if you are not one, then no words can describe this to you. You must experience it. Let me ask you this, WHO would put that much pressure on someone else? Would a sane person do that? I maintain that they would not. You are free to draw your own conclusions about who is crazier, the one place the burden, or the one accepting it. Now imagine the insanity of the GB.... enough said.
So everyone is nuts in this film. The two main characters perform a crazy, messy dance in a competition that is spectacular IMO. The whole time that I am watching it, I think, " That's what life is. Crazy, like a mood swing." I also think about how messed up all those "professional" dancers are. Right?! Yeah, they have it ALL choreographed to PERFECTION. That perfect score is the goal! Countless hours of life spent to perfect what you visualize perfection to be?? Who did you do that for? The fat-ass judge who could't dance their way to get a Subway sandwich with Jared? Are you dancing for YOU? Or are you dancing to be who others say that you should be? Are you dancing YOUR dance, or their dance? Are you stiving for their perfect 10? It's something to think about. Are you so focused on the steps that you are missing the beat?
What is the point of this post? I don't know. I am just writing. I am crazy. YOU are too. Everyone is. You know what? Who the hell cares?! So what if a bunch of crazies come to this website and be crazy. Who's the judge? Who is in charge of your choreography? I will tell you who. Whoever you allow to sit at the judges table, that's who. You dance for them?? You dance for a number??? You pay for the chance to be judged as worthy by another inmate?? THAT IS NUCKING FUTS.
So if I go to the meeting today, I will sit there knowing that EVERYONE there is crazy. The KH is their mental hospital. It's where they get their meds. They need it. They can't find a silver lining on their own, not yet anyway. They could, but they need to step down off their meds. Those meds make you foggy, you don't need them. The real YOU comes out when you are off your meds. You are better, sharper, faster, they way you should be, until your next "episode." Then you wonder, " Ok ME, are you bonkers or what? Do you need your meds? Do you honestly believe that you are a higher-level mental patient? You are just a little better than the rest? A little more sane?" Sometimes life seems like a choice between total surrender and madness. Everyday you have to make a choice. Do you conform or forge ahead? If you just conform, then how will you know what's out there? What's around the next corner, or over the next hill? Conformity seems pretty boring, especially when you realize that you can escape the nut-house! It's just sad that not everyone will come with you.
I have to get some coffee. I love all you crazy bastards. Go out there and be yourself ! [ unless you like to kidnapp drifters and throw them in a hand-dug pit in your basement.] Have a God damn mood-swing or two, or five! Go tell some other crazy bastard that you love them, before it's too late. Stop wearing a painted smile when you don't want to. Be honest. Look that other crazy in the eye and tell them where to shove their score-card. Then say, " I love you anyway." That's my rant. I am just ME. I might be unique, but I am not special. Wait... is it the other way around? Oh, who cares. Have fun today, crazies...
p.s I tried to edit some mistakes. Crazy 30 minute deadline...
DD